I stared at her in silence for a few moments, my stomach churning. I wanted to say that I wouldn’t take charity but I knew I couldn’t. Charity was a dirty word in my book, but if the Catholic Church ran this one I might just be able to accept it.
‘I shall have to talk to Dr Morris. If he says Tommy has to go away to get better, I’ll speak to Father O’Brien.’
‘Tell you what. I’ve been doin’ a bit o’ sewin’ for Father O’Brien’s housekeeper. I’m takin’ it back tomorrow afternoon. I’ll ask to see him and find out a bit more about it.’
‘You’re a good friend, Maggie. You make me feel so much better.’
‘That’s what friends are for, me darlin’.’ She poured me a cup of tea. ‘Now drink that up if you can manage it, and then I’ll bathe that lip for you.’
‘Could you wrap a bandage round my hand?’ I said. ‘I spilt some hot water on it and it feels a bit sore.’
‘More of Martha’s doing?’ She frowned as she saw the red patch on the back of my hand. ‘She’s a wicked woman that mother of yours. I’m tempted to give her a piece of me mind, so I am.’
‘She’s not wicked, Maggie,’ I said. ‘Just selfish and bitter. I wish I knew why she was like it, then I might be able to feel some sympathy for her.’
‘Don’t waste your pity on her,’ Maggie said. ‘It’s you and Tommy I bother about, not Martha.’
‘I’m all right,’ I said. ‘I was just a bit upset over Tommy, that’s all. I can put up with Mam and her temper as long as he’s all right.’
‘Don’t you worry about him,’ Maggie said, trying to cheer me up. ‘It will be like a holiday for him, so it will.’
‘He would like to visit the seaside,’ I agreed. ‘He’s never been. Da took Jamie, Lainie and me once years ago – to Southend in a charabanc, but Tommy hasn’t ever seen the sea.’
‘Well, this might be a chance for him,’ Maggie said. ‘You’ll see, love. It might all turn out for the best.’
I knew she was just trying to lift my spirits and I smiled to please her, but the growing certainty that my little brother was very ill was like a lump of stone in my breast.
I decided that I would try to see Lainie the next day, even if it meant taking half an hour off work. I wanted to tell my sister that Tommy might have to go away. Even if the charity paid the costs of his treatment he was going to need a few things.
Mrs Dawson frowned when she heard me asking for time off.
‘You are being very thoughtless,’ she said after her husband had told me it was all right as long as I was quick and didn’t make a habit of it. ‘You’ve been late a couple of times recently. You should be working extra time not less.’
‘I’m sorry. I’ll stay behind tomorrow to catch up, if you like.’
‘And so I should think!’
‘It’s all right, Bridget,’ Mr Dawson said. ‘Just don’t make it a regular thing.’
‘No, sir. I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused.’
I left work the moment Mr Dawson said it was all right and ran all the way to the Sailor’s Rest. By the time I got there I was out of breath and my chest hurt.
Mrs Macpherson was behind the counter in the lobby when I went in. A seaman was settling his account and I waited until she had finished serving him before approaching her.
‘May I please see Lainie for a few minutes? I promise I won’t stop her working. I have to get back myself—’
‘I’m afraid you can’t,’ she interrupted, looking annoyed.
‘I’ve got time off work specially. It’s very important, Mrs Macpherson.’
‘I dare say it is,’ she said, a sharp note in her voice, ‘but you can’t see her because she isn’t here. She took her things and left this morning.’
‘Where did she go? Did Hans come for her?’
‘Not to my knowledge. She didn’t say where she was going. She told me she’d had a better offer and went, just like that. It didn’t matter that I would be one short in my staff, but that’s your sister all over. I’m disappointed in her, Bridget. It’s my opinion she went off with a man.’ Her mouth had gone thin and hard, her eyes cold.
‘But who? She was going to marry Hans … She cared for Hans. I know she did … Why would she go off just like that with someone else?’
‘Perhaps she had big ideas all of a sudden. Don’t ask me what your sister had in mind – and don’t ask any more questions. I’ve too much work to do to stand gossiping to you!’
She turned her back on me and went through to her office, leaving me to stare after her in bewilderment. Bridie was very angry and I sensed that there was more to it than simply being let down by a girl who worked for her.
Lainie’s sudden disappearance left me concerned as to how I would pay for my next visit to the doctor, but when I went back there just three days before Christmas he told me I wasn’t to worry.
‘You can pay me when you have the money,’ he said kindly and I could see that he was wondering how to tell me the news about Tommy. ‘I am afraid Tommy is a very sick boy, Miss O’Rourke. I suspected it last week when I examined him and the tests I did seem to indicate that he has all the early symptoms of consumption.’
‘Does that mean he’s going to die?’ I asked fearfully.
‘Because he is still at an early stage, Tommy may be treatable,’ Dr Morris said. ‘We don’t really know enough about the disease, but in some cases rest, fresh air and good food may help – none of which is available to him in his present circumstances. Your brother is seriously undernourished, Miss O’Rourke.’
‘He doesn’t always eat what I give him,’ I said, feeling hot all over. He made it sound as if we starved Tommy, but I made sure he got the best I could manage. ‘He likes fruit but we can’t often afford that …’ I took a deep breath. ‘Someone told me about a place the church runs at the seaside …’
‘That would certainly be a good idea. I am afraid I can only offer the infirmary – unless you can find the money to send him away yourself.’
‘You won’t send him there yet? Not before Christmas?’ I asked, my stomach beginning to tie itself up in knots.
‘No, but you are going to have to keep him away from school. He could be infectious to other children – and your own family. I can give you a little time, but eventually it will have to be isolation at the infirmary if this charity thing doesn’t come through.’
‘As long as we have Christmas. I need a little time to prepare him …’
‘Yes, of course. I understand perfectly,’ the doctor said. ‘I don’t like this any more than you do, Miss O’Rourke, but I don’t have a choice. If neglected, Tommy is just going to get worse.’
‘Yes, I know,’ I said. ‘I know what I have to do, doctor, but not until after Christmas.’
Mam was sitting in her chair by the stove when I went in. She hadn’t done a thing all day and there was a pile of ironing waiting for me to start. ‘So you’re back then,’ she said sourly. ‘You can go up—’
There was a knock at the door before she could finish and I went to answer it. Ernie Cole was standing on the doorstep, cap in hand. He looked at me awkwardly, as if unsure of my reaction.
‘Ma sent this,’ he said and held out a parcel wrapped in greaseproof paper. ‘She made too much cake mixture and this was left over …’
I glared at him, tempted