CLARA QUESTIONED HERSELF as she walked into The Grind early the next morning. It was Asher’s day off, apparently, and he had not been in Stim when she had driven by that morning, so she had left and gone to Cassie’s coffeeshop because she liked their hot chocolate better.
Stim had some kind of bitter, extra dark chocolate, and that was not what she wanted. Frankly, she didn’t like anything on their menu. None of it was sweet. And as Alex had pointed out the day they had run into each other there—or rather, the day he had orchestrated the two of them to run into each other there—everything only came in one size.
The Grind was busy. It was a place people liked to sit and hang out at, as opposed to Stim, which seemed to attract people who were there to get something to go. There were only a couple of tables in that shop, and they didn’t have the variety of baked goods that The Grind had.
Of course, really, she should be back home in bed. It was just that she had woken up early after barely sleeping the night before, and she had known Alex would be coming by the ranch soon, and she hadn’t wanted to be there when he arrived.
It was silly, but spending the day with him yesterday had left her feeling emotionally wrung out.
They had talked about Jason, and while that was probably a good thing, it was also hard.
There was something about being around Alex that made her skin feel like it was too tight, made her scalp feel prickly and sensitive. It was the emotional thing, it had to be.
It couldn’t be anything else. All she had done was toss and turn until the sky had turned gray this morning.
It was cloudy now, and she had a feeling the time on their sunny weather had run out. It’d been an abnormally warm streak, with blessedly clear skies.
But of course the clouds always rolled back in.
She waited patiently in line until it was her turn, and then ordered an extra-sweet hot chocolate with whipped cream and candy cane pieces from the girl behind the counter.
She also got a brownie.
She figured if people could justify eating doughnuts for breakfast, a brownie should be fine.
She took her treats back to one of the bistro tables and sat, pulling out her phone—which still didn’t have service, but could hook up to Wi-Fi and had games that were functional—and started playing a puzzle game.
She was in a blissful state of sugar-fueled zoning out when the chair across from her moved. She looked up and her eyes clashed with Alex, who was standing there holding a to-go cup.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, realizing belatedly that it wasn’t the friendliest of greetings.
“Getting coffee,” he said, “since you apparently don’t have any.”
“Oh.”
She was still being very unfriendly, but she was not ready for this. She was not ready for him.
“I was on my way to your place,” he said, “and I stopped in here because I realized I needed another hit.”
She scrunched her face up into an expression of faux concern. “Are you stalking me lazily again?”
“No. Just stalking caffeine.” He took a seat across from her without asking for her permission.
She could only marvel at how badly her avoiding-Alex plan was going.
He looked at her cup, which had whipped cream still covering the top of the drink, little candy pieces nestled upon it. “Do I want to know what that is?”
She frowned. “A cup of diabetes, and it’s no one’s business but mine.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself. I need harder stuff.”
“Chocolate has caffeine, you know.”
“Right. I prefer not to screw around with mine.”
She lifted her cup to her lips and took a sip, and he did the same.
She couldn’t help but watch the way his lips touched the rim, the way he held the cup in his hand. Which really was rather large. And masculine.
She returned her own cup to her lips and took a swallow that was much too large, scalding her throat.
She put the hot chocolate down, pulling a face.
“I didn’t think you worked today,” he said.
“I don’t,” she responded tartly.
“Then what are you doing out? I thought you were all about sleeping in and blankets and stuff.”
“I couldn’t sleep last night, if you must know,” she said, opting for honesty, though God knew why.
“Why?”
He made her want to throw her hot chocolate in his face. He was just so...persistent. He was caring, in a way that he could never sustain. She didn’t want to get used to having someone around again only to have to deal with them leaving. There was no point to it. And she was just...exhausted. Tired of that kind of thing.
“I was thinking about Jason,” she said finally.
“Sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. You didn’t kill him.”
Neither of them said anything after that. They just sat there, sipping their respective drinks.
Alex made her more aware of her surroundings, hyperaware, and when the door opened again, her head whipped around to look. Sabrina walked through, and stopped when she saw them.
“Hi, Clara,” she said, her voice stiffer than usual.
“Good morning,” Clara said.
“Just grabbing coffee on the way to work,” Sabrina continued. She was shifting her gaze between Clara and Alex with an odd expression on her face, and Clara wanted desperately to tell her that whatever she was thinking, it wasn’t that.
“Us too,” Clara said, then winced because she’d made it sound like they’d gone to coffee together, or that they were a unit functioning as one. An us. “I mean, I was here. Alex happened to be here too. Separate from me.”
“Okay,” Sabrina responded, her expression growing still more skeptical.
Clara knew she was already verging on protesting too much, but as Sabrina walked toward the counter to get her coffee, Clara had to fight with herself to keep from laying on more excuses and justifications.
“Now she’s thinking weird things about us,” Clara said.
“Weird things, huh?” Alex asked. “What kind of weird things?”
“You know,” she said, not bothering to hide her exasperation.
The door opened again and Clara turned to see who it was this time.
Her heart jumped into her throat.
She reached across the table, yanking Alex’s cup of coffee from his hand, then shoving her mug of hot chocolate into the blank space in front of him as she lifted his cup to her lips and took a sip. She did her best to control her face as she glanced to where Asher had just come through the door.
He was looking straight ahead at the chalkboard menu above the counter, his expression serious.
“Hi,” she said, her voice sounding high and stupid.
She wanted to bite off her tongue. What had she been thinking trying to get Asher’s attention? She was with Alex and he was going to think she was with Alex. And then Alex was going to mock her mercilessly later. And she had surrendered her hot chocolate.
Asher turned toward them, confusion and surprise on his handsome face.
Alex, for his part, seemed to be frozen between what looked to be a state of amusement.