He cleared his throat and kept his gaze steady on the darkened road. “The doctor mentioned that several attempts may be necessary before the insemination takes.”
“But doing it naturally? Is there a projected time span on that?”
He felt strangled. “I never actually asked him that.”
“Perhaps you should.”
Out of sheer necessity, he pulled the car off the main street and onto a small dirt road that led to a dead end. When Tony was younger, he and his brother had come here to make out with girls. In those days there was a wide cornfield, but it had been replaced by a small park with a street lamp. Obviously things had changed, but the premise was the same. Isolation.
Despite the fact that he was sweating, he left the car running, for it was a cold night in early November. He killed the lights, though, giving himself some illusionary concealment. When he turned to face her, he already had his mouth open to start his argument, but he was brought up short by the picture she presented.
Moonlight poured over her, revealing the sheen of dark hair, the shape of her ears, her high arched brows. Her eyelashes left long feathery shadows on her cheeks and shielded her eyes from his gaze. Her hands were folded in her lap. She appeared somehow very unsure of herself…vulnerable. It wasn’t a look he was used to, not from her. She lifted her gaze to his face, and once again he felt that deep frustration.
It wasn’t that Olivia was beautiful. She was by far the most elegant woman he’d ever known, but she wasn’t classically beautiful. He had dated more attractive women, made love to them, had long-standing affairs with them that had left him numb. But Olivia was the only woman whose personality, intelligence and disposition were attractive enough to entice him into asking her to carry his child. That was something. More than something, actually, when you figured it was usually looks that drew a man first, and the other, more important features of a woman that kept him drawn.
When he remained quiet, she said, “I know what I’m asking seems absurd. After all, you could have any woman you want, and after knowing you for so long, it’s obvious you don’t particularly want me. That’s okay, because up until you mentioned your plan, I hadn’t really thought about wanting you, either.
“But you see, I’ve made my career everything.” Her hands twisted in her lap and her voice shook. “Just as you don’t want any involvements now, neither do I. That’s why the idea seems so perfect. I haven’t taken the time or the effort to get to know very many men, and almost never on an intimate level. These days, only an idiot would indulge in casual sex. But starting a relationship isn’t something I want, either. So I thought, maybe we could both get what we wanted.”
Tony searched her face, feeling dumbfounded. Surely she wasn’t suggesting what he thought she was. “I want a baby. What is it you want, Olivia?”
She turned her head away from him and looked out the window. Sounding so unlike herself, she whispered in a small voice, “I want a wild, hot, never-to-be-forgotten affair. For two weeks. If during that time I conceive, the baby will become yours, and we’ll go on with the rest of your plans. If I don’t conceive, I’ll be on my way and you can find another woman who, hopefully, will prove more fertile. You won’t owe me a thing. In fact, I’ll consider myself well paid.”
“Well paid? As in sex? You make yourself sound like a…”
“Like a woman who’s desperate? I suppose I am.” She finally met his gaze, her eyes huge and so very dark in the dim light. “I want to know what it’s like to be with a man. But it has to be a man I trust, both with my safety and my health. I’m afraid you fit that bill.”
The way she’d worded that had him frowning. “Olivia, you’re not a virgin, are you?”
“No, but close.” She held up two slim fingers.
“You’ve had sex with two different men?”
“No, I’ve had sex twice. With the same man, or boy rather. Neither time necessarily inspired an encore, but the second time I allowed myself to be convinced. I suppose I was hoping he’d improved from the week before, but he hadn’t.”
Tony found himself smiling. Olivia wanted to have sex with him, but she planned to keep a score card? “What did he do that was so wrong?”
“I’m not certain I know what was wrong, since I haven’t yet experienced it right, but we were both practically fully clothed, cramped into the backseat of his car, and he grunted a lot. And by a lot, I mean for all of about three minutes. Continuously.”
“Well…” Tony suppressed a laugh and tried to look serious. “I suppose I can improve on that, anyway.”
“I should certainly hope so.”
Tony couldn’t help but chuckle at her serious tone. “I can’t recall ever having a woman come right out and ask me to perform to her satisfaction. You’re downright scary, do you know that?”
“I don’t mean to be. And I don’t mean to belittle that guy. We were in college, and he was majoring in football. It was probably my fault for not being more discriminating my first and second time, but even then I was very involved in getting ahead. Choosing an ideal mate simply took more energy than I wanted to give. At the time, it hadn’t occurred to me to tell him specifically what I did and didn’t like, which probably would have made things better. But now, since you’ve presented yourself on the proverbial silver platter, I can hope the results will be much more to my liking. After all, you have a reputation for fulfilling such expectations.”
Reputation? He didn’t even want to get into that with her. If she’d been listening to gossip…Well, at least the gossip appeared to have been flattering. He gave a groan that was loud and rife with confusion. “I just don’t know, Olivia. I mean, this could all backfire.”
She was all business, not moved in the least by his dramatic display of frustration. “You’re afraid I’ll be privy to your awesome technique, decide I can’t possibly live without it or you and want to stake a marital claim?”
Actually she was pretty close to the mark. Not that he believed his technique was really all that awesome. But he knew women too often associated sex with love. He’d have to make it clear to her…
“I understand how you feel, Tony. I was concerned also, only for opposite reasons. Right now, you only want a baby, but as you see the woman who will give you your child grow, as you see the changes in her body—from you and your baby—are you certain you won’t transfer your affection for the child to the mother?”
He stared stupidly. “I hadn’t planned to watch any changes.”
“No? But I understood, from books I read long ago, that the changes were the most fascinating part. You won’t want to feel your baby kick? You won’t want to be in on any prenatal pictures taken? I saw a documentary on TV once that was incredible. The ultrasound showed every small movement the baby made. You could even count toes and fingers.”
His head began to pound with the growing complications. “I think…I think I may have more to think about.”
“I’m sorry. Now I’ve confused you.”
“You haven’t confused me. It’s just that I hadn’t even considered prenatal observation. All my thoughts had been directed solely on the baby after its birth. But of course I’d want to see and feel the changes.” He studied her closely. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“Mind what?”
“If I watched you closely? If I observed all the changes in your body while my baby grew and if I examined those changes, took part in them?”
She was silent again, her fingers worrying the edge of her coat. Then she shook her head and in a hushed tone, she replied, “No.