Nate had seemed relieved to see her that morning, but he’d said little except in appreciation of the food she’d prepared for him and Jacob.
With breakfast done, she found herself at loose ends. Now what? What should she do now?
Charlie grinned. She’d clean the house from top to bottom. The brothers’ mam would be surprised to see a clean house when only her sons were in residence.
She’d hung up the wet tea towel she’d used to dry dishes when suddenly the back door slammed open. She gasped and spun to see a furious man. “Nate? What’s wrong?”
“Charlie Stoltzfus,” he snapped, “did you take out the mower yesterday while Jacob and I were at the doctor?”
Charlie flushed guiltily and glanced away. “I wanted to help.”
“And I told you to stay away from the equipment!” he burst out.
“I know how to mow hay!”
He approached, grabbed her roughly by the shoulders, but despite his intimidating height and expression, he didn’t hurt her and she wasn’t afraid. “You saw what happened to Jacob yesterday,” he said. His eyes were like blue ice. “What if you’d been hurt while we were gone? Who would have been here to help you?” He released her and stepped back. He turned away. Tension tightened the muscles of his back, and he clenched his fists at his sides. He spun to face her. “People die in farm accidents, Charlie!”
Guilt made her flush. She felt a painful lump in her throat. “You’re right,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
Nate held her gaze. He looked big and handsome—and extremely upset.
“I’m sorry I used the mower without your permission.” She drew a sharp breath then released it. “I wanted to help. ’Tis supposed to rain soon and I knew you’d be missing a day’s work with Jacob’s accident yesterday. I thought if I finished what he’d started there would be less for you to worry about.” She fought back tears. Charlie shifted uncomfortably when he just stared at her. “Say something,” she said.
“You want to be schuulteacher,” he said harshly. “You have to think before you act, Charlie. Your behavior frequently gets you into trouble. How can you teach our community children if you jump into situations without giving a thought to the consequences?”
She felt the blood leave her face. “You don’t think I’d be a gut teacher.”
He sighed and approached her. “You need to be more careful. To grow up.” He placed his hands gently on her arms then soothed them down their length to take her hands. “I think you could be a fine teacher. You have a way with children. They listen to you and will gladly follow your lead.” He released her abruptly, his expression hardening. “But you won’t be teacher unless you can lead them by gut example. You have to stop jumping rashly into situations that can potentially be dangerous.”
“I know how to mow,” she insisted, stung. “And you refer to things I did as a child.”
He shifted away and crossed the room. “Maybe you do know how to mow. It doesn’t matter,” he said sharply. “I told you to stay away from the mowers and you didn’t. Gut intentions don’t make it right.” He leaned against the wall near the door. “And you acted like a child. A spoiled, disobedient child.”
“You’re not my vadder!” she yelled.
“Thank the Lord for that.”
Blinking sleepily, Jacob appeared in the doorway, clutching the door frame as he wobbled on one foot. “What’s going on?”
Nate studied his brother. “What are you doing up? If you fall, you’ll do further damage to yourself.”
“I thought I heard arguing.” The younger man glanced from her to his brother and back.
Charlie blushed. “We were just...”
“Having a serious discussion,” Nate said. His lips firmed. “She mowed hay yesterday while we were gone.”
Jacob glanced at her with surprise. “You did?”
Charlie hesitated then inclined her head. “I know how to mow. I’ve done it for my dat.”
Nate’s brother grinned. “How much did you get done?”
“I finished the back acreage where you left off and a little more.”
“Don’t,” Nate warned Jacob. “Don’t encourage her. You know what can happen when an accident occurs with the mower. She could have been hurt or worse.”
His expression sobering, Jacob gazed at her. “He’s right.”
She lifted her chin defiantly. “Maybe.”
Nate stared at his brother. “Jake, you need to lie down before you fall.”
To Charlie’s surprise, Jacob agreed. She moved to help him into the other room, but Nate reached him first. As if he didn’t trust her to help Jacob. Hurt, she stayed in the kitchen while the brothers disappeared into the other room. While she waited for Nate to return, she felt the strongest urge to flee. But she didn’t. She might have made a huge mistake with the mower, but she was just trying to help. Charlie still thought he’d overacted, and she wouldn’t run as if she’d done something wrong.
But she didn’t want him to think her unreliable and immature. She wanted the teaching job and needed to show him that she was a dependable, no-nonsense young woman who would make the best teacher ever hired for their Happiness School. A wrong word from Nate or anyone else within the community would end her chances to teach. As much as it upset her to change, she understood she needed to be on her best behavior. Even if it killed her to change into someone other than herself.
* * *
After making sure Jacob was comfortable on the sofa, Nate returned to the kitchen. He paused in the doorway, his gaze immediately homing in on Charlie. She stared out the window over the sink. There was a defeated slump to her shoulders, and he could feel her dejection like pain in his belly. But as much as it hurt him to see her this way, he knew he was right to be hard on her.
He stepped into the room. “Charlie.”
She spun as if taken by surprise. A look of vulnerability settled on her pretty features. He scowled. He didn’t want to notice how lovely she was or to recall her misguided intentions to help. If she didn’t rein in her tendency to jump into potentially dangerous situations, she could get seriously injured. Or die.
Her breath shuddered out. “Jacob oll recht?”
“Ja. He’s asleep.”
Her mouth softened into a slight smile. “The pain medication.”
He nodded, unable to take his gaze off her. He’d been more than a little alarmed when he’d realized that she’d used the mower. If something had happened to her...
A memory came to him sharp and painful of another young girl who’d been reckless and wild like Charlie. He’d loved Emma with all of the love in a young boy’s heart, but it hadn’t been enough. Despite his repeated warnings, Emma had continued to take risks in her quest for excitement. She’d claimed that she loved him, but in the end, he wasn’t enough to keep her happy. He’d warned her to avoid the young Englishers in town, but she hadn’t listened.
Instead, she’d called him a spoilsport for ruining her fun. Then one night she’d slipped out of the house during her rumspringa to spend time with her new English friends. The teenage driver had crashed his car, the accident seriously wounding his passengers, three English girls, and killing Emma immediately.
Nate hadn’t known of Emma’s plans that night. Later in his grief, he’d realized that Emma would have hated being married to an Amish farmer. Never content to be a wife and