It hadn’t been his fault, she told herself once again. The injury was to blame.
Whether that was true or not, she had to walk away from the past. She had to accept Daniel’s help to do so. He held the door open to her new life, but she had to pass through, and she would.
By Saturday, Daniel had begun to feel confident that Rebecca wasn’t going to back out of their agreement. She showed up every day, determined to help, sometimes with Lige, sometimes by herself.
He had to admit, the work went more quickly with another pair of hands, even unskilled ones. He took a step back, assessing the shelf he’d just installed on the back wall. Rebecca wouldn’t come today, he felt sure, since the Fisher family was hosting worship the next day. Everyone would be busy cleaning and cooking to prepare for the church’s once-a-year visit.
So it was with considerable surprise that he heard the back door open and the now-familiar sound of Rebecca’s footsteps. He lifted his eyebrows in a question when she appeared in the doorway.
“I thought you’d be completely occupied with getting ready for worship. Don’t tell me your mamm let you out of the kitchen.”
Her smile came more easily now than it had at first. “I tried to help, but what with Mamm and Leah and the girls, we were starting to get in each other’s way. Mamm thought I’d be more use here.”
“What about my little helper?” He picked up the next shelf, and she hurried to grasp the end of it.
“Lige went off with Daad and Jacob to pick up some extra peanut butter for the sandwich spread. You know my mother—she never thinks there’s going to be enough food.”
He nodded. It was a common enough description of most Amish mothers. “Gut that Lige is getting to know his cousin Jacob. Having a cousin just a little older will ease the path for him, especially when he starts school in the fall.”
“Yah.” Rebecca paused, and he suspected she was comparing steady, calm Jacob with her small son, always so shy and fearful. Then she brightened, as if she’d shoved the unwelcome thoughts away. “Lige needs to have friends to count on, like Sam and I counted on you and Caleb.”
“Counted on us to keep you out of mischief, that’s for sure.” Keeping the talk on happy subjects was best, he thought.
“I remember it the other way around.” She glanced up at him, her eyes alight, and she looked suddenly years younger. “Caleb was usually the instigator, but I remember one time when you dared Sam to jump from the hayloft. Remember? He landed right on the bags of fertilizer and broke them open. He was covered with the stuff.”
He grinned. “Mostly, I remember how Sam looked, and when you started sloshing water over him, that made the mess even worse.”
“And your Onkel Zeb walked in on us. He just stood there, looking at us until you felt guilty enough to confess.”
“That’s Onkel Zeb, all right. I’ve never figured out how he does it.” Daniel’s smile lingered as he thought of all the times his uncle’s solemn look was sufficient to get the truth.
“He put us all to work cleaning up the mess, and I didn’t have anything to do with it.” She gave him a playful swat and he ducked, laughing.
Laughing...and then the laughter was arrested suddenly, by his awareness of her. Rebecca, so close to him, wasn’t any longer just his friend and playmate. She was a woman who seemed to draw him closer with just her smile.
Daniel drew in a shaky breath and hoped his expression hadn’t changed. Ach, that wasn’t right. He shouldn’t be looking at Rebecca that way, or feeling the longing to find out if her lips were really as soft as they looked.
Fortunately, Rebecca didn’t seem to have noticed anything, maybe because her thoughts had turned back to her son. He could read it so clearly in her expression.
“Sometimes I wish...” She let that trail off, shaking her head.
“What do you wish, Rebecca?” He kept his voice calm, interested, just the voice of a friend.
“I guess I’d like to see Lige get into a little mischief once in a while. It’s natural enough for a boy that age.”
He wasn’t sure what to say. There were too many things he didn’t understand. “It’s natural enough that he’s still grieving his daadi. He was probably fine before that shock, ain’t so?”
For a moment, he thought she wasn’t going to respond, but then she shook her head. “James had an earlier serious accident, nearly two years before he passed. I’m afraid Lige doesn’t remember much of his daadi from before that.”
“I didn’t realize.” Maybe this was what Onkel Zeb had meant when he’d spoken of the hardships she’d gone through. His heart swelled with sympathy. “I’m sorry for your trouble.”
“It’s...”
Her words were cut off by the front door banging open. Barry Carter, the electrician Daniel sometimes worked with, made his usual noisy entrance. “Hey, there you are!” he shouted.
Any reply vanished from Daniel’s mind when he saw Rebecca’s face—saw her flinch, saw her eyes fill with panic for just a brief instant before she regained control.
His wits started working again, and he stepped in front of Rebecca, screening her from view. “Barry, it’s gut to see you, but do you have to come in like a tornado? You made me forget what I was measuring.” His only thought was to keep talking until Rebecca had a chance to collect herself. “You got my message, yah?”
“Yep, finally listened to my answering machine. I’ve been that busy this spring—you wouldn’t believe. You looking to move in here?” He was looking around as he spoke. Big and burly, with hands like a couple of hams, Barry had a heart as soft as butter, Daniel knew. He’d be horrified to think he’d frightened Rebecca.
Frightened. But why?
He pushed the question aside. He’d have to consider that later. “It’s going to be a quilt shop for our neighbor, Rebecca Mast.” A quick glance told him that Rebecca looked as if nothing ever disturbed her. “Rebecca, this is Barry Carter. He’s the man to take out the electrics for you.”
Recognizing the meaning of her warning glance, he added quickly, “It’ll take him some time to fit you in, but this way he can check out what needs done.”
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Mast.” Barry touched the bill of his ball cap in greeting. “I ought to be able to get to it by the end of the month, if there’s no hurry.”
“No, none at all.” Rebecca sounded perfectly calm and in control. “I’m sure Daniel can show you what needs done better than I can.”
Daniel nodded. “Come through to the kitchen. That’s the main thing.”
He led the way, with Barry following, and started explaining what needed to be done. Barry had converted Englisch houses to Amish ones before, so it didn’t take all that much explaining on his part.
Which was good, because his thoughts were in a crazy jumble. Rebecca’s reaction, Lige’s timid behavior... He could think of one obvious reason for that, and he found his hands curling into fists at the thought.
Horrified, he forced them to relax. James Mast was dead now, and whatever his faults, he’d face a more competent judge of his life than Daniel King.
A passage came into his mind and clung there. It looked to him as if the wrong men did, as well as the good, live on after them.
*