“It’s unlocked,” she said, jerking open the driver side door and getting in, fishing her key out of her bottomless bag before jamming it into the ignition.
He got in after her, closing the door, and she suddenly realized that her car was not the safe haven she had been imagining it might be. It certainly did nothing to dispel the tension that she felt between them. Tension that Ryan was probably completely oblivious to, because Ryan had always been oblivious to the way he made her feel. Good thing, too.
He had no idea how many fantasies she’d woven around him as a young teenager. Had no idea that when he’d moved out of Margie and Dan’s a few months after she’d moved in, she’d spent the evening watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” and crying while eating a tub of ice cream.
He had no clue about any of that, and he would never know that even though she didn’t have feelings for him anymore, per se, there were still some nights when she had trouble sleeping, and thoughts of him would enter her sleepy brain. That on those nights, feelings for him would take over her restless body. He didn’t need to know that it was the easiest thing in the world, on those nights, to slip her hands between her thighs and think of...
Yeah, he did not need to know any of that, and she didn’t need to be thinking that while they were closed up inside her car. Honestly, how had she thought this would be less uncomfortable than the open street?
Neither of them said anything as she drove out on the main road, away from town and up toward the winding back road that led to the houses set into the hills that overlooked the ocean. There was a run of vacation rentals, a small gated community, and then a few larger houses on the street. At the very end of it was the massive West Family Ranch, the largest equine facility in Copper Ridge. Though it was currently getting a run for its money thanks to Jack Monaghan and his ranch, if rumors were to be believed.
The Travers family home was between the gated community and the West Ranch. It was a stunning, two-story house with a beautiful yard, tall, stately pine trees standing behind it, and a view of the ocean through large bay windows.
It was the kind of home she’d imagined only existed in movies when she’d been a child. Being allowed to come inside had been beyond her wildest fantasies. To actually live here? To stay and to attend parties? It had been like something out of a dream.
Being taken away from her parents by Child Protective Services had been terrifying. Leaving everything she knew, even when what she knew was bleak, was frightening. But then she’d seen this house. Margie and Dan had been there waiting, with open arms, and instantly, Holly had felt like she was in a movie. A fairytale where she was the secret princess.
The impact of this house, of coming here, hadn’t lessened even now that she was an adult. Her heart still swelled as she pulled her car up to the gate and entered in the code so that it swung open, allowing them entry.
“You sure you have the key with you?” she asked, pulling through to the paved, circular drive and stopping the car just in front of the door.
“Of course. But even if I didn’t, I know how to get in without using the front entry.”
He got out of the car, and she followed suit. “Really?”
“I snuck out more than once during my teen years. And back in. Successfully.”
He pulled his keys out of his pocket, unlocked the door and opened it, holding out his arm as if waiting for her to enter. As she walked into the expansive entryway, her heart fluttered a little bit.
She should be a lot more blasé about this kind of thing, really. She’d lived in this home for almost five years, after all. But even so, every time she walked in it returned her to that place of feeling honored to be permitted to be a part of something. It made her a thirteen-year-old again. Happy for the first time.
“It’s all still in the attic,” she said, gesturing to the sweeping, curved staircase.
“Oh, I know where it is. Because fetching decorations was my job.”
“Oh, poor put-upon youth. No wonder you had to sneak out.” She tried to imagine Ryan being filled with enough whimsy to do something like sneak out and look for trouble. It was difficult. She never would have dared to sneak out, for fear of upsetting the magical world she’d been admitted to.
Of course, she’d assumed it would have been the same for him. Her vision of him was that he’d always been responsible, serious. He’d bought his fishing boat at a young age, then moved out, and had been working on the boat ever since.
“Why did you sneak out? I have to know.”
“Honestly?”
“Yes, honestly.”
“I was doing an apprenticeship on a fishing boat.”
She blinked. “Oh.”
“Sorry, it’s not exactly sex, drugs and rock n’ roll.”
“I didn’t take you for that type, actually. This...makes more sense.” He started up the staircase, and Holly scurried after him. “Why didn’t you tell Dan and Margie? Why did you sneak?”
“Habit, I guess. I found something I was interested in and didn’t want to be shot down. Dan didn’t shoot my dreams down, of course. When he caught me and found out what I was doing, he encouraged me. As long as I didn’t let my grades slip, he said I could go out on the boats on the weekends.”
“We were pretty lucky to have them,” Holly said, emotion pressing tightly on her chest.
“Damn straight,” he said. “I think so too. You can tell because I’m here fetching Christmas decorations for you. For them.” He reached the top of the stairs, then opened the door that led to the attic. “Why don’t you come and choose what you like?” he asked, jerking his head toward the door.
She took a deep breath. She was headed for another small space with Ryan. That was a lot to ask of her Ryan-frayed nerves in a short amount of time.
But he seemed oblivious —which was for the best —so she was going to act like it wasn’t anything.
She swept past him and up the stairs, grabbing hold of the small cord hanging down from the bare light fixture on the ceiling, pulling it and illuminating the space.
Everything was neatly stacked and organized. Probably not by Margie, but most certainly delegated by her. The thought made Holly smile.
“There they are,” Ryan said, gesturing to a stack of bins clearly labeled “Christmas.”
“Okay. Well, my house is a lot smaller than this one, so I’m going to have to be selective.”
“Why do I feel like I might as well have gone shopping with you? This is about the same.”
“At least we didn’t have to drive out of town to get to a big box store. So there’s that.”
“Small comfort.”
“Wrap yourself in it like a blanket, Masters, because you’ll get few more of those small comforts. We’re on the Yule train, next stop tidings of comfort and joy.” She walked toward the bins. “Okay, but lift that top box for me because it looks heavy.”
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