She wasn’t even surprised when she found herself kissing him back with just as much heat.
And from that moment on—until she woke up alone in his bed hours and hours later—she really, truly didn’t feel that she was Livi Camden-Walsh. She was totally that someone else she’d set out to be after the sauna. That someone who got to forget herself and escape how much it hurt every time she thought about Patrick being gone.
That someone who had been sinking into a sated slumber when Callan had told her that the condom had broken just a little, so she hadn’t worried about it...
She wished that that had woken her fully, bringing her back to herself...but it hadn’t. She’d fallen asleep as that new person who didn’t worry, didn’t fuss, didn’t grieve.
But she’d woken up as herself at four in the morning, horrified and ashamed.
At first she’d worried about how she was going to face Callan. Wherever he was—the bathroom maybe? As she’d dressed, she’d thought about the conversation she needed to have with him. She would explain that she hadn’t been herself, that normally she was the last person to ever even consider having a vacation fling. And then she’d say that it would be best if they just went their separate ways. When she’d finished perfecting the words in her head, she’d walked over to tap on the bathroom door...but it had swung open under her touch, revealing that there was no one inside.
It was then that she’d started to realize that the whole place was too silent for anyone else to be in it.
She’d paused to actually look around, and discovered that Callan was gone.
It was four in the morning and he was gone. There was no note, no explanation. She tried to come up with excuses for him. Maybe he’d gone out for a cigarette, or to get some ice. But his teeth were too white for him to be a smoker, and the ice bucket was still on the bar. Nothing was open in the hotel at that hour, so he couldn’t have gone to one of the restaurants or bars.
Still, she’d waited five minutes for him to get back from wherever he’d gone. Then ten. Then half an hour. By the time an hour had ticked by, she couldn’t bear to wait any longer.
Livi had no experience with any of this, but she had friends who had talked about guys sneaking out once the deed was done, and she’d suddenly felt certain that that had to be what had gone on with Callan. She’d pictured him slinking out so as not to wake her and hiding somewhere. In the room of a friend, maybe? They hadn’t talked about anything personal, so she had no idea if he was at the hotel alone or with other people. People he could take refuge with until she was gone.
All she’d wanted to do was get out of there, get to her own room, shower and call the airline to change her ticket so she could go home a day early.
Home, where she could write off that night to pure and utter insanity, and resolve never to think about it again.
As she’d left his suite she’d dug in her tiny purse for her wedding rings and put them back on with a vengeance. She’d just been grateful that what she’d done had happened far away from her loved ones, who would never need to know.
She’d also been grateful that she’d never have to see that guy again or be reminded of him in any way.
And she’d sworn to herself that she would never, ever, ever even wish to forget herself like that again.
Sitting in the big leather chair in the ranch’s living room now, she groaned.
It had been such a good plan...
Until she’d missed her first period.
And now her second.
Until the nausea had started.
And her fingers had swelled too much to wear her rings.
It had been such a good plan, until she’d seen Callan again today...
The front door opened just then and her cousin Seth came in, calling her name.
“I’m right here,” Livi answered, her voice weak as she opened her eyes once more.
But she couldn’t let Seth think anything was wrong, so she got up from the chair and pasted on a smile.
“Hey there!” Seth greeted her, coming with open arms to hug her. “Sorry I had to be gone when you got here.”
“You’re here now,” she said feebly, wishing he wasn’t, that he had stayed in Texas, where she knew he’d left his wife and baby to visit longer with his father-in-law.
“I’m here, but kicking myself because I just remembered that I have a Cattlemen’s Association dinner tonight and I’m gonna have to turn around and leave again.”
There was some relief in hearing that. She had too much on her mind to socialize even with her cousin, who was like a brother to her.
“Don’t worry about it. Do whatever you need to do. I’m fine on my own.”
“There’s plenty of food in the fridge, or if you want to wait until I get back around eight I can bring you a pizza or something.”
“I’ll find something in the fridge. I was going to go to bed early, anyway.”
“Tomorrow, then...”
Livi nodded, again not altogether tuned in to what was going on. “I promised to pick up my new charge, Greta Teller, after school tomorrow, and I was going to go to the store in town before that for a few things I didn’t pack. But I’m free until about two or so.”
“I meet with my ranch hands on Monday mornings to schedule out the week, but how about lunch?”
Which would give her time to stop being sick.
Unless she woke up tomorrow with her period and without the nausea, and everything was okay...
Apparently she still had a little denial left.
“Lunch would be good,” she said.
With that settled, Seth dragged his suitcase in from the foyer and began to rummage in the side pockets. “So you must have found the Tellers’ farm without me,” he said.
“Yeah, I did. I just got back from there a few minutes ago.”
“You met everyone? The Tellers and their granddaughter? The guardian?”
“Callan Tierney,” she informed him.
That halted the search and Seth glanced up at her with arched eyebrows. “Callan Tierney is the girl’s guardian? You know who he is, don’t you?”
“Why would I know who he is?”
Seth went back to searching through his bag, but said, “I’ve never met him, but Callan Tierney is CT Software. We use his software and so do a slew of other businesses around the world. He’s worth more than we are. I wonder how someone like him ended up the guardian of a kid in Northbridge?”
“I don’t know,” Livi said honestly.
“Ah, that’s what I need for tonight!” Seth exclaimed, pulling a tablet out of the suitcase. Then, turning back to her, he said, “You’ll have to fill me in when you find out.”
“Sure. When I find out,” she parroted.
Seth continued chatting with her, telling her about his time away. Livi did her best to keep up with that conversation. But she was still reeling inside and thinking more about the next day than anything he was saying.
The next day, when she would go into town before picking up Greta Teller.
When she would take the first step to putting denial to rest once and for all.
And buy a home pregnancy test.
* * *
After