“Who?”
“Aida’s little brother. He’s retarded. Did you see him out there?”
“No, I—”
“He’s big, and he’s wearing black sunglasses.”
Simone walks slowly back inside the tattoo shop and sits down.
Aida comes back with the boy Simone chased. They stop outside the door, and Simone can see him nodding at everything Aida says, then wiping his nose. The girl comes in, shielding her breasts with one hand, walks past Simone and Benjamin without looking at them, and disappears behind the curtain. Simone just manages to see that her neck is red because she has had a dark red rose tattooed next to a small Star of David.
“What’s going on?” asks Benjamin.
“I was looking for you. Then I saw some boys—they must have been sick; they were holding a little girl over the barrier. Aida’s brother was just standing there and—”
“Did you say anything to them?”
“They stopped when I got to them, but they seemed to find the whole thing funny.”
Benjamin looks very upset; his cheeks flush red, and his eyes dart all over the place, searching, as if he wants to run away.
“I don’t like you hanging around here,” says Simone.
“I can do what I want,” he replies.
“You’re too young to—”
“Just leave it,” he says, his voice low.
“Why? Were you thinking of getting a tattoo as well?”
“No.”
“They’re horrible, these tattoos on necks and faces—”
“Mum.”
“They’re ugly.”
“Aida can hear what you’re saying.”
“I don’t care what—”
“Would you go outside, please?” Benjamin says sharply.
She looks at him. The tone doesn’t sound right coming from him, but she knows that she and Erik sound exactly like that more and more these days.
“You’re coming home with me,” she says calmly.
“I’ll come if you go outside first,” he says.
Simone leaves the shop and sees Nicky standing by the dark window, his arms folded over his chest. She goes over to him, tries to look pleasant, and points to his Pokémon cards.
“Everybody likes Pikachu best,” she says.
He nods to himself.
“Although I prefer Mew,” she goes on.
“Mew learns things,” he says carefully.
“Sorry I yelled at you.”
“They can’t do anything about Wailord, nobody can deal with him, he’s the biggest,” he goes on.
“Is he the biggest of all?”
“Yes,” the boy says seriously.
She picks up a card he’s dropped. “Who’s this?”
Benjamin comes out, his eyes shining.
“Arceus,” replies Nicky, placing the card on top of the pack.
“He looks nice,” says Simone.
Nicky beams at her.
“Let’s go,” Benjamin says, his voice muted.
“’Bye then,” says Simone, with a smile.
“Byebyetakecare,” Nicky replies mechanically.
Benjamin walks alongside his mother in silence.
“We’ll take a taxi,” she announces as they approach the underground station. “I’m sick of the underground.”
“Okay,” says Benjamin, turning away.
“Hang on,” she says.
She’s spotted one of the boys who threatened the girl. He’s standing by the barrier in the station, and he seems to be waiting for something. She can feel Benjamin trying to pull her away.
“What’s the matter?” she asks.
“Come on, let’s go, you said we were going to take a taxi.”
“I just need to have a word with him.”
“Mum, just leave it,” begs Benjamin.
His face is pale and anxious and he remains where he is as she resolutely goes over to the boy.
She sticks her hand out and turns the boy to face her. He is only about thirteen years old, but instead of being afraid or surprised, he smiles scornfully at her, as if she’s just fallen into his trap.
“You’re coming with me to the security guard,” she says firmly.
“What did you say, you old cow?”
“I saw you—”
“Shut it!” the boy hisses. “Unless you shut your mouth, we’ll fuck you as a punishment.”
Simone is so stunned she doesn’t know what to say. The boy spits on the ground in front of her, jumps over the barrier, and disappears down the passageway.
Simone is shaken; she goes back outside to Benjamin.
“What did he say?” he asks.
“Nothing,” she says.
They walk to the taxi stand and settle down in the back seat of a cab. As they pull away from the shopping centre, Simone tells him about the call from his school.
“Aida wanted me to be with her when she got her tattoo altered,” says Benjamin quietly.
“That was kind of you.”
They travel in silence.
“Did you call Nicky an idiot?” asks Benjamin.
“I said the wrong thing. I’m the one who’s an idiot.”
“But how could you?”
“I do the wrong thing sometimes, Benjamin,” she says, subdued.
From the Tranberg bridge, Simone looks down at Stora Essingen. The ice has not formed, but the water looks slow and pale.
“It looks as if Dad and I are going to separate,” she says.
“What? But why?”
“It’s not because of you.”
“I asked you why.”
“There’s no real answer,” she begins. “Your dad … it’s hard to explain. Even when you really love someone—and I really love your father—it can all just come to an end.” Her voice falters. “You don’t think that when you first meet, when you have a child … But after a while, if the lies pile up … I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about this.”
“I don’t want to get involved.”
“Sorry I—”
“Just leave it!” he snaps.
21
tuesday, december 8: afternoon
Although he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep in the car, Erik has made an attempt. But he remains wide awake as they drive toward the cottage where they hope to find Evelyn Ek,