Eddie laughed. ‘I told ’em they could have one can of lager and I’m sure the little bastards had about three. I had to help them into bed about an hour ago. I put ’em in Joey’s room.’
Jessica giggled. It had been their first proper get-together in their new home and she had loved every single minute of it.
Whether it was due to the amount of sherry she’d drunk, Joyce wasn’t sure, but for the first time in years, she felt amorous. ‘Stanley, wake up,’ she said, poking her husband in the ribs.
Receiving no response, she moved her hand around a bit. ‘Stanley,’ she said seductively.
Aware of a hand around his cobblers, Stanley jumped up like a bush kangaroo. ‘What the fuck! What are you doing, woman? Have you gone mad?’
Jessica just happened to be passing the guest room as her father bolted out in his Y-fronts.
‘Whatever’s the matter?’ she asked, noticing his shocked expression.
Stanley held his hand over his parcel. ‘It’s your mother – she’s having a funny turn.’
‘What, is she ill?’ Jessica said, panicking.
‘No, not that kind of funny turn,’ Stanley said, embarrassed.
Realising what had happened, Eddie grabbed Jessica and dragged her into their bedroom. Hysterical, he could barely speak for laughing.
‘Your mother’s after a bunk-up.’
‘Oh, don’t say that,’ Jessica said, mortified.
Hearing raised voices, Jessica poked her head around the bedroom door.
‘I mean it, Joycie, if you touch me again in that way, I’ll go and sleep downstairs in the armchair,’ she heard her father say.
Hand over her mouth, Jessica stood in stupefied shock. ‘I can’t believe it,’ she said to Eddie.
Unable to stop laughing, Eddie grabbed her and threw her onto the bed. ‘You are so naive, Jessica Mitchell, and do you know what? I fucking well love you for it.’
AFTER DROPPING HIS two boys home early on Sunday evening, Eddie shot up to the Flag for a prearranged meet with his dad, brothers and uncle.
As he explained that he’d offered Raymond a place in the family firm, Ronny flew into one of his tantrums. ‘He’s a fucking outsider. How do you know he ain’t a grass? He could rob us blind for all you know,’ he screamed at Eddie.
Harry Mitchell did his best to defuse the situation. He took Ronny outside the pub and, knowing the best way to handle his son, spoke to him gently and respectfully.
‘Look, Ronny, I know you’ve got your doubts about Ed taking on someone new, but he knows what he’s doing. Raymond’s no stranger to us. He’s been working for Eddie on the scrap for years and seeing as he’s Jessica’s brother, he’s got family ties with us, ain’t he?’
‘But I don’t wanna share my cut of the profits. The fact is, Dad, we don’t need anybody else, especially a fucking kid,’ Ronny argued.
Harry put an arm around his shoulder. ‘Look, Raymond’s only on trial at first. Chances are, he might not be what Eddie’s looking for and it won’t work out anyway. If you’re concerned about him being young and wet behind the ears, have a word with Eddie, get him to set up a task, see if Raymond’s cut out for our line of work.’
The fact that his dad was taking him seriously for once was enough to make Ronny calm down. ‘Maybe you’re right, Dad. Testing the cunt out ain’t such a bad idea. There’s a couple of people been fucking around with us lately. That big skinhead geezer, Mad Dave, owes us a lot of wedge and ain’t breaking his neck to pay it back. How about if the wonderful Raymond pays him a visit? Mad Dave’s about six foot three. He’s a massive bastard, with arms like tree trunks. Let’s see how the dear little apprentice pits his wits against him, eh?’
Harry led his son back inside the pub. ‘Don’t rub Eddie up the wrong way now. Just put your idea forward sensibly,’ he urged Ronny.
Eddie sat in silence as he listened to Ronny’s plan.
‘I think it’s a great idea,’ Paulie said immediately.
Reg glanced at Eddie and shrugged. ‘I suppose even if the kid gets a pasting, it’ll show us what he’s made of.’
Eddie shook his head. ‘For fuck’s sake, Raymond’s only twenty-three – can’t we test him out on someone else? Making him confront Mad Dave on his tod is like slinging him into a cage of starved lions.’
Looking at his dad for support, Eddie was surprised when, for once, he didn’t receive any.
‘I was thrown in at the deep end when I was a lad. Never did me any harm,’ Harry said honestly.
Aware that he was alone in fighting Raymond’s corner, Eddie had no choice other than to agree to the ridiculous idea.
‘Fine, it that’s what everyone wants, then I’ll sort it,’ he said.
Unaware of the big task he had coming his way, Raymond was up a 5 a.m. the following Monday morning.
‘Christ, what’s up with you? Shit the bed or something?’ Stanley asked, as his son plonked himself down opposite him.
‘I’m just really excited, Dad. Starting me new job today, ain’t I? Couldn’t sleep last night at all, so I thought I’d get up and pester you before you went to work.’
Stanley offered his son a piece of toast. ‘What’s this job all about then? I know you said you’re going to be debt collecting, but what sort of people are you going to be dealing with?’
‘I don’t know yet. Eddie’s picking me up at nine. He’s taking me out to buy me some good clothes. He says I have to look the part for this kind of job.’
Suddenly losing his appetite, Stanley threw his toast in the bin and turned away from his overly enthusiastic son. He didn’t like the sound of this new job, not one little bit and he feared for the safety of Raymond.
Stanley buttoned his shirt up and put on his uniform jacket. He sat down opposite Raymond and shook his hand. ‘Good luck, son. I hope it all goes well for you, but will you promise me one thing?’
‘What’s that, Dad?’
‘Promise me if the job turns out to be dangerous in any way, you’ll walk away and look for something else.’
Raymond nodded. His father was such an old stick-in-the-mud, but he meant well. ‘I promise, Dad,’ he said untruthfully.
Whether the job was dangerous or not, Raymond had no intention of walking away from it. He had been waiting for an opportunity like this all his life, and he would do literally anything to impress Eddie and secure his place in the family firm.
‘Goodbye son, see you tonight,’ Stanley shouted.
Raymond sighed as his father shut the front door. How he could sit on that stinking bus every day, being abused by schoolchildren, Ray would never know. It was watching the old man come home moaning about his job every night that had given Raymond the determination to make something of his own life. He loved his dad dearly, but would rather die than end up like him.
‘Morning, darling. I’m so excited for you. Now, let your old mum cook you a nice bit of egg and bacon. You need to keep your strength up if you’re gonna be working with Eddie and his brothers.’
Raymond shook his head. ‘Thanks, Mum, but I’ve already eaten. I haven’t had a bath yet, so I’d best go and get meself ready.’