Jessica felt nervous as she took her seat next to Eddie in the restaurant. Her own family were sitting at a different table and she’d have felt much more comfortable sitting with them.
She’d never met any of Ed’s family, apart from Ronny and Paulie, until now. ‘Where are Gary and Ricky? You said you’d bought them suits and they were coming.’
Eddie shook his head. ‘Sore subject. They were meant to be here, but my cunt of an ex-wife had one of her tantrums and took ’em away on holiday. You wait till she gets home, I’ll give her take my kids away without my permission.’
Not wanting to spoil his day, Eddie quickly changed the subject. ‘This is my Auntie Joan that I told you about, who brought me up as a nipper, and this is my Auntie Violet, my dad’s sister.’
‘I’m very pleased to meet you both,’ Jessica said shyly.
Auntie Joan patted the chair next to her. ‘You sit next to me, my darling, and Ed can sit at the top of the table. Oh, look at her, Vi, ain’t she pretty? Got the face of an angel, ain’t she?’
‘She’s an absolute princess,’ Violet replied.
As the two women showered her with compliments, Jessica felt her face redden. She wouldn’t have felt so nervous if she could have had a proper drink, but obviously, she didn’t want to make a show of herself in front of Eddie’s relations.
Harry Mitchell smiled at her. ‘You’ll get used to our nutty family in time, honest you will. Now, where’s your dad? I’ve been introduced to your mum, but I don’t even know which one your father is.’
As Harry Mitchell strolled towards him, Stanley felt the colour drain from his skin. Memories of the past came flooding back and all he could picture was Roger Dodds covered in blood with his eye hanging out. Unable to swallow the lump of fillet steak in his mouth, Stanley began to make choking noises.
‘For goodness’ sake, Stanley, why do you always have to show me up?’ Joyce yelled, as she punched him on the back.
As the meat flew out of his mouth and landed on Harry Mitchell’s lapel, Stan felt his bowels loosen.
Raymond burst out laughing and, luckily for Stan, Harry Mitchell was in a jovial mood. ‘Fucking hell, I’ve had a few bullets aimed at me in me time, but never a lump of meat,’ he joked.
Jessica was mortified. ‘Dad, this is Harry, Eddie’s father.’
‘Pleased to meet you,’ Stanley mumbled, shaking his hand.
There was no recognition on Harry’s face, and Stan breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Christ, you’re shivering. Shall I get them to turn the heating up?’ Harry asked kindly.
Stanley shook his head. ‘No, I’m fine thanks. I’ve got a bit of a chill, I think.’
Aware that her father was making a total penis of himself, Jessica quickly dragged Harry towards her brother. ‘And this is Raymond, my younger brother.’
Raymond stood up and shook Harry Mitchell’s hand. ‘Nice to meet you, sir,’ he said politely.
‘I’m sure we’ll all catch up again later in the pub,’ Harry said, bemused by his new in-laws. The brother was a proper kid with a handshake like a man’s. As for the father’s limp hand, the less said the better. ‘You can always tell a man’s soul by his handshake,’ his old mum used to tell him and Harry had learned over the years that she was spot on.
After everybody had finished their meals, champagne was poured freely all round. Harry Mitchell was the first to give a speech. He kept it short and sweet, but ended it by giving Jessica an envelope to open.
‘My wedding present to both of you,’ he said.
Jessica gasped as she looked inside. There were flight tickets and a stay in a five-star hotel in Italy. ‘It’s booked for next week. I’ve never flown before!’ she yelled gleefully.
As the best man, Ronny was the next to stand up. He spoke about Ed as a kid and ending it by saying, ‘Bev, my brother’s ex-wife, was as thick as two short planks. She was ugly, a monster, and I’m sure that everyone will agree that this time Ed’s got it right. Jessica is everything his first wife wasn’t and I’m sure they’ll be extremely happy together. Raise your glasses everybody. To Eddie and Jessica.’
Eddie locked eyes with his dad and Uncle Reg. All three shook their heads. Ronny had the brains and decorum of a fucking rat. Eddie quickly stood up, made a couple of jokes and glossed over his brother’s comments. He ended his speech by handing Jess yet another envelope.
‘You’ve made me so happy by becoming my wife, Jess. This is my present to you,’ he told her.
Jess couldn’t believe her eyes as she tore it open.
A few days ago they’d viewed a beautiful house not far from where her parents lived. Jess had fallen in love with it on sight. It was in a private road and was beautifully decorated.
‘We can’t afford it yet, Jess. Let’s get the wedding out of the way and we’ll find somewhere after we’re married,’ Eddie had told her.
Now she had the deeds and keys in her hand and could scarcely believe her luck. ‘I can’t believe it. Thank you, I love you so much,’ she said, as she threw her arms around Eddie’s neck.
Overcome by excitement, Jess lifted up the hem of her dress and ran over to her mum’s table. ‘Look, Mum, it’s only ten minutes’ walk from you. That’s the house I told you about. There’s a picture of it there.’
Eddie stood proudly behind his wife. ‘I knew she wanted to live near you and what Jess wants, she will always get,’ he told Joyce.
Joyce grabbed Eddie’s face and planted a smacker on his forehead. ‘I can pop round when you’re at work and, when the baby arrives, I’ll babysit whenever you want. I knew you’d make a great son-in-law the moment I saw you, Eddie. I can’t thank you enough for buying her a house near her mum. Look, Stanley, isn’t it wonderful?’
Stanley glanced at the piece of paper and nodded dumbly. As much as he hated Eddie, he was pleasantly surprised by this strange turn of events. Knowing Eddie’s type, he’d have fully expected him to whisk Jessica miles away from him and Joycie.
‘A young girl needs to be near her mum and dad. That’s what families are all about,’ Eddie said, smiling at Stan.
‘Don’t expect me to come round and change shitty nappies, will you, sis?’ Raymond said laughing.
Eddie ruffled Raymond’s hair. Jessica’s little bro was a proper character. In fact, he reminded Ed of himself at sixteen. Eddie allowed himself a wry smile. Neither Jess nor Ray were fuck-all like their father, so surely at least one of them had to belong to the milkman.
With the speeches and surprises all over, Eddie started to organise cabs to get to the reception.
As Joyce went off to powder her nose, Ivy shifted herself next to Stan. ‘I know I said this earlier, but I really don’t like him, Stan. Whatever was my Joycie thinking of, encouraging Jess to get involved with the likes of him?’
Stanley shook his head. ‘I’ve no idea, but I’m glad it ain’t just me. I don’t trust him, Ivy. He’s got eyes like dead fish.’
Ivy shuddered. She’d noticed Eddie’s cold, calculating stare from the moment she’d set eyes on him and the thought of her beautiful granddaughter sharing her life and bed with him sent shivers down her spine.
‘She won’t find happiness with him, Stanley. I’ve seen his sort before. He’ll mould Jess into what he wants and, before she knows it, he’ll suck the fucking life out of her.’