“Life goes on,” she said.
“Inevitably.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Happy graduation day, sweetheart,” he said softly. “I’m very proud of you. Sorry it ended in such misery.”
“I’m glad we brought Blair here,” she said. “God knows what he might have done, left alone with too much liquor.” She shivered inside. He must have loved Elise greatly. She said the last aloud to her father.
“He was infatuated with her, certainly. He’s not a playboy. He never was.”
“You’ve known him a long time, haven’t you?”
He nodded. “He’s a good man. Best friend I’ve ever had.”
“He’s been my friend, too,” she pointed out, smiling. “I don’t know what I’d have done if he hadn’t been here that night Harvey brought me home after our date.” She drew in a breath. “I’m still afraid to try dating again, you know.”
“Sweetheart, you can’t carry it around like a burden for the rest of your life,” he pointed out. “You’ll never be happy without a husband and children. You know that.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m not in good health,” she said slowly. “It...puts men off.”
“It won’t matter to any man who loves you.”
“You think so?” She had her doubts, but she smiled. “I’m going to help Edna in the kitchen.”
“Okay, Tidbit. I think I’ll watch the news.”
“Will you check on Blair, on your way to bed? Just in case?” she added.
He smiled. “Of course.”
She wanted to do that herself. But that look Blair had given her hadn’t been one of encouragement. She found him attractive, and she couldn’t manage to hide it. She knew it was going to cause problems.
BLAIR WAS BARELY able to get out of bed the next day. His head hammered, and he was wobbly on his feet.
“Serves me right, I guess,” he said when Niki brought him hash browns and bacon in bed.
“Don’t say that,” she chided softly. “You were entitled. I’m sorry life is so hard for you right now. But it will get better. Really, it will.”
He looked up at her quietly. “You’re an optimist, Niki. I’m not. I see things from a different perspective. So will you, when you’re older,” he added in a faintly bitter tone.
“For heaven’s sake, I’m going on twenty-two,” she burst out. “I just graduated from college!”
“And there’s a big world out there, just waiting for you,” he said. “New people, new places. New men,” he added deliberately.
She wrapped her arms around her chest. “No.”
He scowled, pausing with hash browns on his fork. “What do you mean, no?” he asked.
She bit her lower lip. “How do I know what men are going to be like when I’m alone with them? I know I haven’t dated much, but that was one heck of a wake-up call, you know. If you hadn’t been there...” Her eyes were tormented, and she shook her head.
“Come here.”
She sat down beside him on the bed.
He took her hand in his and held it. “You have to know, very few men ever resort to force. He’d been drinking pretty heavily.”
“I know. I tried to get him to stop. He said I was backward.” She sighed. “I guess I am. I don’t keep step with people in the modern world. I live in the country, I like wildflowers and little children, I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs...” She made a face. “It’s just a pity I wasn’t born a hundred years ago. I’d have been right at home.”
“There are other people like you in the world,” he said softly. “You’ll find them. You have to take chances, Niki. You have to get out in the world to cope with it. You’re hiding here, honey. You’re running away from life. It’s cowardly. That’s not like you.”
Her face flamed. She got up and moved away from him, like a child burned by contact with fire. How could she tell him that she was in love with him, that she wasn’t hiding from life? She was waiting, hoping, praying that one day...
His heart sank when he saw her face. He’d been too harsh. “Niki, I’m sorry.”
She swallowed, hard. He was like an adult with a small child, and it hurt to be thought of that way. She stood up from the bed. “I have to help Edna clear up in the kitchen.”
She was out the door before he could curse himself for bringing that look into her soft face. He felt guilty for the rest of the day, more so when she didn’t come near his room again.
She kept to herself for the rest of the day. She was polite to Blair at dinner, but he saw right through her.
“You’re very quiet tonight, Niki,” her father said, frowning. “Everything all right?”
She toyed with her food. “Of course. I’m just not very hungry, that’s all.” She added a smile so that her father wouldn’t get suspicious.
Blair sipped black coffee. “I thought I might drive over to Yellowstone tomorrow and see the sights. Want to come, Niki?” he added without looking at her.
She felt her heart trying to climb out of her throat. The invitation was unexpected.
“Go with him,” her father said firmly. “You need to get out of the house for a while. It will do you good. Just be sure to take your inhaler with you,” he added wryly. “Everything’s just starting to bloom. You don’t want another chest infection.”
“Worrywart,” she chided.
“I’ll take care of her,” Blair said quietly.
“I know that.” Her father finished his coffee. “Got a minute?” he asked Blair. “I want to talk to you about that new drilling site I’m going to lease.”
“Sure.” Blair got up and followed him into the study.
Niki helped Edna clear away the dishes.
“You can hide it from your father, but not from me, young lady,” Edna chided when they were putting dishes into the dishwasher. “What’s wrong?”
She moved one shoulder a little. “Blair says I’m hiding from life. From men.” She was, but she couldn’t tell Edna why.
“He’s right,” was the unexpected reply. “You’re letting that one bad date tie you up like a knot. Honey, not all men are going to try to force you. It was an unfortunate thing, what happened.”
“I couldn’t have stopped him,” Niki recalled with disgust. “If Blair hadn’t been here...”
“I know.” Edna stopped and hugged her, smoothing her long, soft hair. “But he was. You can’t go through life looking behind you. The future is bright and sweet, my darling. You have to look ahead.”
Niki sighed and smiled against the older woman’s shoulder. “Dad and I are so lucky to have you,” she said. “I don’t know how either of us would have coped. Especially Dad. He loved my mother so much.”
Edna drew in a long breath. “Yes. He was crazy about her.” She smiled sadly. “I loved my husband that way. When he died, I thought my life was over. Then Mr. Ashton offered me a job, and you were in grammar school...” She swallowed, hard. “You see, I was never able to have a child of my own. It was