‘Thank you, that’s very kind,’ Desi said with a smile. ‘But it’s such a long trip, and I am really eager to get there as soon as possible.’
‘But if you leave now, you will not get to the site till nearly sunset, maybe even after dark,’ Nadia said. ‘You may as well stay here and go tomorrow morning. Anyway, the road is safer in daylight.’
A funny little silence fell over the table. Ramiz and Salah exchanged glances. Ramiz started to say something in Arabic, but Desi was already asking, ‘The road?’
‘Yes, in the dark, you know, you can hit blown sand before you see it. Salah is a very good driver, but when sand grabs your wheels, it can be very uncomfortable.’
‘What road would that be?’ Desi asked carefully.
Nadia smiled and waved vaguely with her hand. ‘The main road to Central Barakat, of course! I really don’t understand why—’
‘The dig is on the main road?’
‘No, didn’t you tell us once it’s an hour or two off piste, Salah? But the secret is knowing where to turn off!’
‘Really. A whole hour off the main road.’
‘Shokran, Nadia,’ Salah said. ‘But we’ll go on. I prefer to do the last leg under cover of darkness. Harder to track us, if anyone is trying.’
Chapter Fifteen
A FEW minutes later they were in the Land Cruiser again, heading down the valley.
‘So, are we going to continue the circular tour for another two days?’ Desi asked as soon as she was sure she could control herself. She had never been so angry in her life, mostly with herself. What a fool she had been! Dreaming dreams about a man who had already proven himself a selfish, faithless monster. A man, clearly, who was obsessed with honour because he had none.
‘Desi…’
‘Since your ancestors were faultless navigators, I assume the detour was planned. Did you mean me to get to the dig at all? Or was the great navigator planning to get lost and spend two weeks driving around in circles?’
‘I told you I would not let you discover the way, Desi.’
‘Five days? Was that much bluff really necessary?’
‘I have told you from the beginning that I am concerned about your motives. I thought after a few days in the desert you might tell me the truth.’
‘Your own particular brand of endurance test. Is that why you made love to me, too?’ Her heart convulsed so that she felt sick. ‘To try and break me down? Hoping for a pillow confession?’
‘I warned you there was no future for us.’
She began to laugh unhappily. ‘Oh, you’re as noble as they come! A true mountain warrior—what’s the code you once told me? Generosity, hospitality, bravery in battle, and a good lover? Oh, yes, everything’s there, except the generosity, the hospitality and the bravery! What a cowardly way to fight a battle against a woman! God, you make me sick!’
A cloud of sand billowed up around the car as Salah slammed on the brakes and pulled off the road under a cluster of date palms. He turned to her, his black eyes blazing.
‘What did you expect, Desi? You come to me with lies, but you want truth from me! I have to know why you came here, why you want to visit this place! My father could not say no to you, because I owe your family such a debt! Was it noble in you to take advantage of him in this way?’
‘I am not taking advantage of him! Why do you suspect me? Why won’t you believe me?’ she shouted.
‘Because you are lying to me. I know it. Do not deny it again, Desi, it makes you more of a liar!’
‘How can you make love to me at night and then in the day believe I could be a cheat?’
‘Because you are a cheat. You cannot be trusted. You are weak. This I learned ten years ago.’
Her jaw fell open. Her eyes blazed outrage at him.
‘Me! How dare you? I’m sick of this accusation, Salah! You’re ten years older now, isn’t it time you got a handle on what happened? All I did was love you, and if that’s a sin, well, I’ve paid for it in spades! You’re the one who was weak! You’re the one whose love didn’t last past the first hurdle. Not me!’
‘Do you pretend to rewrite history with me?’ he demanded. ‘Do you pretend to forget what you did?’
‘What I did? What did I do, exactly?’
‘Why do you want to open this? You did not love me.’
‘That’s what I said, all right. I was sixteen years old. You’re the one who wrote the letter. You’re the one who decided that we were not after all married in our hearts and therefore I wasn’t pure enough for you!’
He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Do you pretend still? You could not have gone to the bed of this old man if your love had been real. You know it.’
‘Old man? Bed? What are you talking about?’
‘You know. The one they called your agent. Why do you pretend with me?’
‘Leo?’ she screeched incredulously. ‘Three years later, Salah! How long did you expect me to wait for you to see the light?’
‘What?’ he whispered.
But she was in full flood.
‘Three years during which you never once tried to get in touch! What was I supposed to do? You rejected me in the most humiliating, shaming way possible! Was I supposed to beg? To promise to give up my too demeaning career? Grovel because I was weak and slept with you before we were bound in holy bloody matrimony?
‘I waited and waited in the hopes that when you wrote it you were delirious or something, but no! Your self-righteousness was fully conscious! I don’t know what the hell you think you had a right to expect…’
‘What do you mean, three years later?’ Salah finally found his voice, and it rasped like gravel against a screen.
‘I was nearly nineteen before Leo’s master plan came to fruition! Are you really presuming to blame me for that? You didn’t want me, but I should remain virgin forever? What was it, some kind of sanctity test? No one else got near me for three years, Salah. Did you wait that long? I’d like to know.’
His eyes were hollow with shock.
‘He was your lover from the beginning! You went from me to him.’
Her face convulsed with distaste. ‘No, he was not! I was sixteen, for God’s sake! He was forty-two!’
‘It wasn’t true?’ He was hoarse with horror.
‘What?’ Desi stared at him blankly. Then her eyes narrowed as suspicion took hold. ‘What do you mean? What wasn’t true?’
‘Sami sent me a magazine clipping. A picture of you with this old man. It said…’
Her head went back as if he had hit her. She stared at him, and for a moment they were frozen there, locked in mutual horror.
‘You believed it?’ She was open-mouthed with shock as the fact sank in. She stared, shook her head to try to clear it. ‘Is that why—?’ she whispered. ‘How could you believe it?’
‘Desi—’
‘You, of all people! Did you really imagine that within a few weeks I could—? With you on a battlefield, for Christ’s sake! You thought I had—’ Suddenly feeling came rushing in to fill the blankness and her voice found its feet.
‘You read something