No. No, she didn’t. But she had to. ‘I don’t want this.’
‘That’s a lie.’ Dismissing her rejection with his usual confidence, his mouth claimed hers again and she felt herself descending into a thick, sensual fog that threatened to consume her.
‘No, Karim.’ Denying her own sensuality, she dragged her mouth away from his and this time she turned her head. ‘You have to stop! It’s not right. I’m marrying the Sultan. We shouldn’t be doing this.’
‘You want me.’ His arrogant statement left no room for denial, and she didn’t even bother trying.
‘Yes. But that doesn’t change anything.’ Faced with the most impossible decision, she shifted away from him slightly, wishing that she knew how to calm the reaction of her body. ‘I—This should never have happened. I can’t be with you, Karim. I’m not the sort of woman who can sleep with one man and then marry another. It wouldn’t be right.’
She was still a virgin and that, at least, she could give to the Sultan.
He was silent for a moment, his powerful body tense over hers, his breathing harsh and laboured as he struggled to exercise control. Then he rolled away from her and she caught a glimpse of his face. The expression in his eyes was fierce and his jaw was tense. And then he flicked off the torch and they were plunged into darkness.
Now what?
Alexa started miserably into the inky blackness, not knowing what to do or say. She wanted to reach out and touch him, but knew that she had no right to do that, but it was suddenly vitally important that he knew just how much he meant to her.
‘You’re the first person in sixteen years I’ve been able to trust,’ she said softly, the darkness giving her the courage to say things she never would have been able to say in daylight. ‘I didn’t dare trust anyone else or let them close, because they always had a reason for being with me and that reason was always something to my disadvantage. It’s been so different with you. You insisted on protecting me even though I didn’t want your protection. Even though we’ve only spent a short time together, I feel I really know you. You’re the first friend I’ve ever had. And, if things were different, you would have been my first lover.’
‘Enough, Alexa.’ His voice was raw, or perhaps the darkness simply exaggerated the emotions. ‘Get some rest now.’
The disappointment lay inside her like a heavy weight that couldn’t be shifted.
She sat still for a moment, trying to reason with herself. What had she expected—a declaration of love? No, not that. But something that indicated that her feelings hadn’t been entirely one
sided, because she knew that they hadn’t been. He cared for her; she knew he did. And yet he hadn’t once expressed those feelings.
But was that so surprising?
She was about to become the Sultan’s wife.
Perhaps he believed that the only way he was going to be able to watch her marry another man was if he denied those feelings.
But she wished, even if it was just for this one night, that he’d told her how he felt. It would have made everything easier, somehow, even though it wouldn’t have changed a thing.
She was on her way to marry the Sultan.
But for the first time ever, that marriage felt less like a sanctuary and more like a sacrifice.
Battling with unfulfilled sexual desire, and a serious attack of conscience for the first time in his life, Karim lay still until the sound of her breathing indicated that she had fallen asleep.
Her words troubled him more than he would have thought possible.
What was it she had said—that he was the first person that hadn’t betrayed her trust?
And yet that wasn’t true, was it?
His role as her bodyguard had been secondary to the main purpose of his mission: to persuade her not to marry the Sultan.
But now that he had the facts he could see that Alexa’s character had been grossly misrepresented. And, knowing the truth about her, he had no doubt that she would make the Sultan a perfectly good wife. She was clearly loyal, resourceful and resilient. And she was remarkably well-adjusted, considering the considerable hardship she’d suffered since the death of her family.
Ironically enough, perhaps the only blot on her copybook was her reaction to him
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