Giving his head a clearing shake, he looked up at the bright blue sky and told himself he was attending dinner at Brett’s place for no other reason than Brett was his best friend and had invited him. There was no history to repeat itself because he would never fall in love again. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Abigail was right. He had been devastated when Becky had cast him aside. He was older now, and smarter, and would never go down that road again.
Several hours later, Teddy wondered if he should have gone with Abigail. Brett and Fiona were gracious hosts and the meal had quite easily been the best he’d ever eaten. However, the joy that kept weaving its way around inside him came from Hannah. She was happier than he’d ever seen her. Talkative and carefree as she teased Rhett and Wyatt about eating so much they’d forget their parts in the upcoming recital.
It could just be the jubilation filling the house that was affecting him. Children had a way of doing that, and Rhett and Wyatt, who were five and seven, kept everyone at the table laughing.
Both boys had speaking parts in the program the new teacher had prepared for the entire community. The children were to recite the Thanksgiving proclamation President Abraham Lincoln had delivered back in 1863, making the day a national holiday. The boys insisted the more they ate, the better they’d perform and shortly after their plates were empty, they were itching to leave.
“Rhett and Wyatt sure are excited,” Teddy said to Hannah as he closed the door behind them.
The boys had been the first out the door, followed by Brett and Fiona, who’d given a quick apology, stating they needed to hurry or the boys would have their suits dirty before they got to school. Teddy had no choice but to assure them that was fine, that he’d escort Hannah to the school.
“I’m sorry,” Hannah said sheepishly. “I just can’t move as fast as I used to.”
“No reason to be sorry,” he said. “We aren’t in a hurry.”
“The boys are,” she said. “They’ve been practicing their lines all week.”
He chuckled. “I think I heard the entire proclamation while we were eating.”
She giggled. “I’ve heard it for the past week. I think I know it by heart.”
“The new teacher must be doing a good job,” he said. “I don’t ever remember being that excited about anything happening at school.”
The smile on Hannah’s face as she glanced his way made his heart kick like an old mule. “I imagine you were an excellent student.”
“I wouldn’t go so far as to say that,” he answered.
She giggled again, but then said, “Fiona certainly thinks Miss Burnett is a wonderful teacher, and I read the article in the newspaper that Abigail wrote about her. Miss Burnett seems to be very qualified.”
“Josiah had purchased ads in newspapers far and wide hoping to find someone suitable. It appears he has, but I don’t believe she’ll last any longer than the past few have.” Teddy bit the end of his tongue, not sure why he’d said that.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve heard that Don Carlson is at the school every day, dropping off and picking up his children.” It was the truth, he’d seen it himself, but pointed it out mainly because Don Carlson was on the list of Hannah’s potential husbands currently in his pocket. The list he still hadn’t returned. It wouldn’t hurt for her to know a few of the men on that list may not be a good choice for her. “Last year, Tess Creswell only lasted a few months as the teacher before Art married her. They just had a baby a few months ago.”
She nodded. “I’ve met Mrs. Creswell.”
“Don doesn’t have a wife and it appears he believes Miss Burnett is what he’s been looking for.”
“I wasn’t aware of that,” she said.
“Jules Carmichael has also been seen at the school,” he said, mentioning another name on her list. “Jules lives in a small cabin on Russ and Henrietta Gibson’s dairy farm, which might not be as appealing to Miss Burnett, coming from the city as she did. The same goes for Jess Radar. He’s shown interest in the new teacher, too, but he lives in Steve Putnam’s bunkhouse. A woman such as Miss Burnett might be more comfortable in their own home, don’t you think?”
Hannah’s smile wobbled slightly as she nodded. “I suspect you’re right.”
Guilt assaulted his stomach. What was he doing? He’d told Abigail more than once that making others look bad did not make her look better. Nor would it make him look better. Which shouldn’t matter because he didn’t want to look better to Hannah. He didn’t want to be one of her choices.
“Have all the eligible men in town shown an interest in Miss Burnett?” Hannah asked.
He shrugged.
“Or just the ones on my list?”
Teddy stumbled slightly.
* * *
Hannah had searched for her list. For a while, she’d feared the list had been amongst the drawings she’d given Teddy last week, but since he’d never mentioned finding it, she’d assumed it must have accidently gotten burned. Until a moment ago, when out of nowhere a sinking feeling told her he had it, and knew exactly what it was. The remorse in his eyes said she was right.
They’d stopped walking, and not sure what else to do, she merely held her hand out. He dug into his hip pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. She didn’t unfold it. Just slipped it into the pocket of the button-up jacket Fiona had insisted she wear.
“I planned on giving it back to you,” he said. “Would have before now, but never had the opportunity.”
She couldn’t look him in the eye. Selecting a spot over one of his shoulders, she kept her head up, her gaze averted.
“I’m sorry, Hannah,” he said. “I should have given it back last week, but—”
“But what?” She still didn’t look at him. “You wanted to make sure you had something bad to say about each one of them first?”
“No, I—”
“You what?” She was more upset than she was angry, which was foolish. Making that list had been foolish.
“I just wondered why I wasn’t on your list.”
The baby moved so suddenly, it startled her as much as his statement had. She placed a hand on her stomach, and he gently touched her arm.
“Is something wrong? Is it the baby?”
She took a deep breath and shook her head. “The baby is fine, and so am I. We should get to the school now.” She still hadn’t looked at him, didn’t have the courage to do that, but noticing his sister amongst the crowd walking toward the school gave her the wherewith to put one foot in front of the other. Abigail’s flowered hat was impossible to miss. Even the sight of the back of it caused a sinking sensation inside Hannah.
“We can go back to the house if the walk is too much for you,” he said.
“The walk is not too much for me.” She drew another deep breath. But all the deep breaths in the world wouldn’t give her the fortitude to tell him his sister was the reason he wasn’t on her list. The past few nights had been full of sleepless hours, and for most of those hours she’d contemplated what she wanted. Brett and Fiona were wonderful and would let her live with them forever, but she didn’t want that. She wanted the baby to have a family. A mother and a father, and eventually siblings. Her thoughts always led her to think about Teddy, and ultimately Abigail. And how much his sister disliked her. The people who would say that didn’t matter had never experienced living with hatred. She had. And she knew the consequences.
“Are you sure?” he asked.