“How about the second person?”
“She was a lot of fun, but not quite what you’d call mature. Eventually I got tired of being the only grown-up in the relationship.” He sighed. “Marriage is a big deal and I’d want to get it right. I guess maybe I’m too picky.”
“That’s what my family says about me, too.” From the corner of her eye she could see that he was looking at her instead of the fire, so she turned to face him. “But how can you not be picky when the stakes are so high?”
“That’s what I think, too. But how about you? Ever come close?”
“I’ve had two different guys propose.”
“That’s pretty damn close. I mean, usually a guy won’t ask unless he thinks you’re likely to say yes.”
Beth groaned. “I know, and I felt awful each time because I turned them down.”
“So I figured.”
“But I swear, Mac, neither of them listened when I said how much I love my job and how it monopolizes my life. One of them suggested that because I love the hospitality industry I’d make a great hostess when he had to entertain out-of-town clients. He expected me to cut back to part-time so I’d be free to do that.”
“Marriage shouldn’t be about giving up things you love to do.”
“No.”
“But there’s…” He paused to clear his throat. “There’s one small problem with the concept of a happy single life.”
“What’s that?”
He took another drink of his wine. “How does sex fit into the plan?” He glanced over at her. “Or are you saying you’re willing to give that up?”
“I’d rather not.” When she met his gaze, she felt that zing again. It scooted through her body and ignited various significant parts of it. Unless she was mistaken, the feeling was mutual.
“I don’t want to give it up, either.” After another charged moment, he broke eye contact and stared into the fire, as if realizing they might each need a moment to decide where to go from here.
Maybe she should drop the subject, which was becoming quite personal. But she found she couldn’t let it go. This was a question she’d wrestled with and never had the chance to discuss with a guy, especially a virile one like Mac. “I mean, we’re both pretty young to be celibate.”
“I know, but I’m not crazy about one-night stands, and deciding to go beyond that implies a certain level of commitment, doesn’t it?” He looked over at her, his gaze reflecting his uncertainty.
She swallowed. This discussion was heating up faster than the blaze in the fireplace. “Yes, I suppose, but the commitment can be limited.”
“Can it, really? In my experience, the more you have sex with someone, the more they start thinking of making the relationship permanent.”
“I wouldn’t.” Now, how had that popped out? She took a deep breath. “Speaking hypothetically, of course.”
“Of course.” He studied the fire some more, and drummed his fingers softly against his knee.
She hoped he hadn’t thought she was propositioning him with her remark. She hadn’t been, but if she tried to explain, it would be even more awkward.
As she tried to figure out how to reestablish the casual mood they’d enjoyed before they’d started discussing sex, he put his wineglass on the end table and stood.
“Listen, before I drink more wine or the roads get any worse, I need to make a quick trip to my cabin.”
“Uh, okay.” She waited for him to tell her why.
He retrieved his coat from the chair in the kitchen. “I’ll be right back. Keep the pizza hot.”
Still, she expected him to say what was so important that he had to take care of it immediately. “Do you have a dog?”
“No.” He headed for the door. “See you soon. My cabin isn’t far.” And then he was gone.
She stared at the closed door for a long time and tried to figure out what was going on. Most men would have come up with some excuse as to why they were leaving, even if they didn’t want to admit the real reason. Maybe he wasn’t good at making excuses, which was actually kind of refreshing.
The timer dinged, telling her the pizza was done. She switched off the oven and hoped the pizza wouldn’t dry out while he was gone. He’d said he’d be right back.
In the meantime, she could work more on her project to embrace her single status. She titled the next section of her notes “Reasons Why I Love Living Alone!!!” Setting down her wineglass, she made a long list. When she got home she’d type it up, print it and frame it to keep her focused.
CHAPTER THREE
NOT THE MOST GRACEFUL EXIT in the world, Mac thought as he drove carefully through the snowstorm to his cabin. He knew Beth had been expecting some sort of explanation, but his reasons for leaving were varied and complicated, and he wasn’t prepared to give Beth any of them, at least not until he’d thought things through.
Although the heater was on, the engine wasn’t warm enough to heat up the cab, which was fine with him. The cold air helped him think, and he needed to think. Because his gut was telling him that, after all these years of dating, all the fix-ups arranged by his parents, he’d just met the woman he was going to marry.
Which was crazy. He didn’t believe in that kind of instant recognition. He’d known her for—he consulted his watch—less than two hours.
Amazingly, that didn’t seem to matter. His strong reaction defied all logic, but the longer he was with her, the more certain he became that she was the one he could build a life with.
And yet that made no sense, considering she was the first woman he’d ever met who seriously didn’t need him. She didn’t need him to make her feel good about herself, and she certainly didn’t need him to take care of her. She might need him in a physical sense, but she’d just finished saying that having sex didn’t necessarily imply a commitment of any kind.
Parking in front of his cabin, he sat in the cab and took a few deep breaths as he tried to rationalize his crazy response to Beth. She was beautiful. True, but he’d dated beautiful women before without having this instinctive connection.
The chemistry was there, but he’d felt chemistry before. Maybe not quite this strong, but close.
He couldn’t remember ever being in such a rush to close the deal and create that ultimate physical connection with a particular woman.
Maybe it was her self-sufficiency. He enjoyed fixing things for his clients, but what a relief to find someone who didn’t expect him to fix anything. Yeah… Much to his surprise, he was drawn to her independent nature.
And, he had to admit, she presented a challenge. Maybe by stating that she was totally uninterested in finding a husband, she’d aroused a need in him to prove her wrong. He hoped to hell that wasn’t true. He took the subject of marriage too seriously to make it into a game.
Not that it mattered now. She probably thought he was a nutcase after he’d blown out of there without an explanation. But he couldn’t exactly blurt out that he’d needed some space to analyze his strong reaction to her.
And he definitely hadn’t been willing to tell her his other, more practical reason for leaving.
Their discussion about sex had been going in one direction—toward