“I endured as long as I could, but later, when he zonked out, I saw my chance and I ran away. I was huddled on a park bench when Liam found me. He bought me some new clothes to replace my torn ones, fed me and then he proposed.” Again that unamused smile. “He was my way out and I grabbed at the chance.”
“That was the night you got the scar.” Jesse didn’t need to see her nod or the way she lifted her hand to touch the puckered skin to know the truth. “I don’t blame you for seizing the opportunity.”
He hesitated. He’d vowed not to get personally involved again, but he couldn’t just up and leave her like this, stuck in what sounded like a miserable past.
“It wasn’t a good marriage,” Maddie whispered, her voice forlorn. “I didn’t know anything about being a wife, let alone a pastor’s wife. I couldn’t cook and the child I bore was what Liam called defective. My fault. I was a failure.”
“How could Noah’s autism possibly be your fault?” Jesse demanded. “And he is not defective,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“Thank you for saying that.” She offered him the saddest of smiles. “To be fair, my husband was much older and not used to children. Noah had colic. He cried a lot and that got on Liam’s nerves. I guess that’s why he stopped asking me to be involved in the church, and left me to tend our son. As Noah got older and other problems emerged, Liam decided the way to control Noah’s outbursts was to instill in him a set of unbreakable rules.”
“Ah,” Jesse said, understanding. “Noah learned he could please his father if he obeyed all the rules.”
“Exactly.” Maddie grew thoughtful. “I’m not exactly sure why, but now Liam’s gone and Noah still clings to those rules, even though his dad is no longer here to approve. I’m trying to break his reliance on them by showing him that rules are only a guide.”
“And that maybe some of those rules are wrong?” Jesse added very quietly.
“Yes.” She lifted her head and thrust out her chin. “That’s why what you did for him tonight is so amazing. Jesse, I have never seen Noah so eager about anything. I’d really appreciate it if you could take him to see your campsite. I don’t want to inconvenience you, but if he’s truly interested in camping, perhaps I can find a way to build on that.”
“I don’t know exactly how long I’ll be in Tucson.” Jesse was cautious, aware that it would be all too easy to get involved with this pretty mom and her needy child. “But I’ll certainly show him my campsite and cook him some s’mores, as I promised.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.” She grinned cheekily. “Emma was right about you. You really are something.” Then she sobered. “May I speak plainly?”
“Of course.” He wondered what was coming.
“I want—in fact, I crave—your help with Noah. But I don’t want there to be any mistakes between us to spoil things.”
“Okay.” Where was this going?
“Please be clear that I am not looking for anything more, Jesse.”
“Pardon?” He watched her face flush and her hands knot as she said it, but Maddie’s intense gaze held his.
“I’m not looking for a husband or a father for my son. I was not a good wife. I did not love my husband the right way. I was a failure and one mistake was more than enough.” Maddie paused, then offered, “I’m not interested in romance. But I surely could use a friend.”
“You’ve got one.” Relieved, Jesse relaxed. “I feel the same. My fiancée recently dumped me. It’s been painful to discover that the woman I thought I’d love forever was not the person I believed her to be, and that I wasn’t the one she really wanted. She preferred my best friend. I still feel stupid, and I sure don’t want to go through that again, you know?”
He gulped, then expelled a rush of relief when Maddie nodded in understanding.
“I don’t think I’m meant to be anyone’s mate.” Jesse figured he might as well be blunt. “But friendship is something I think we could share. To help Noah.” He held out his hand. “So hello, friend Maddie.”
“Hello, friend Jesse.” Her slim fingers slid into his and gripped with a firmness he hadn’t expected. “Whatever I can help you with, just ask.”
“A recommendation to Wranglers Ranch?” he suggested, as he drew his hand away, surprised that the warmth of her gentle touch lingered on his skin.
Maddie smiled, picked up the phone and dialed.
“Tanner, this is Maddie. We’re good, thanks. How’s baby Carter?” She chuckled at the response. “Poor you. Call me to babysit anytime. Listen, Tanner, I have a friend who’s looking for a job. I think he’d be perfect for Wranglers Ranch. His name is Jesse. He’s Emma’s grandson... Okay, I will. Bye.” She ended the call. “Stop by Wranglers anytime tomorrow.”
Jesse’s jaw dropped. “Just like that?”
“I told you there were advantages to living next door to Tanner and Sophie.”
“Thank you,” he said, and he meant it.
“You’re welcome.” When she checked her watch Jesse took that as his cue to leave.
“I should go. Thank you for a fun evening, Maddie. I enjoyed myself.” He rose and walked to the door, aware of her slight figure padding barefoot behind him. He pushed open the screen door and caught his breath.
The desert beyond lay in darkness save for an array of solar lights.
“It looks like someone painted a giant stained-glass butterfly.” He turned to look at her. “You?”
Maddie nodded, a satisfied smile tipping up her rosy lips.
“How?” Jesse couldn’t imagine the hours it must have taken to place each lamp just so in order to create this intricate design.
“I used a quilt pattern. Noah helped me get the wings right.” Her green eyes peered into the distance but Jesse was fairly certain she wasn’t staring at the lights because after a moment she said in a whisper-soft voice, “I dreamed of creating it a long time ago.” Her gaze slid to study him. “Maybe this is the year for my dreams to come true. First we moved to my ranch, then my butterfly became reality and now you’re here helping Noah.”
My ranch. My butterfly. Something about the way she said it got Jesse pondering what other dreams this woman held tucked deep inside.
“Will you be able to find your way to your campsite from here?”
Maddie looked so concerned that he hurried to remind her that he and his parents had once lived in Tucson.
“I’m glad you came back, Jesse.”
“So am I.” He walked toward his truck and was about to climb in when her quiet call stopped him.
“Jesse?”
“Yes?” He paused and peered toward her slim figure, saw her hands grip the balustrade as she tilted forward.
“Thank you very much.” The soft words brimmed with intensity.
He waved, then got into his truck and drove away, wondering why he knew that quiet expression of gratitude came from her heart.
Maddie McGregor was a puzzle. She seemed young and innocent, and yet was apparently the product of a miserable childhood and a wretched marriage. Gutsy but somehow vulnerable. Nightshade and sunshine. She had a home taken straight from the pages of a magazine, but apart from a couple of quilts tossed over the sofa, it looked too neat to be truly lived in. In fact, aside from her quilts, there wasn’t much in that house that said anything about Maddie McGregor.
That whimsical butterfly, however, said a lot. And that intrigued him.
When