“I’m not going to get burned,” Fannie said quietly, praying that was true. “I know the difference between real and pretend.”
“For your sake, I hope so.”
* * *
Every time Fannie looked up from her hymnal on Sunday morning, she caught sight of Noah’s reflection in the mirror on the wall behind the bishop and preachers at the front of the room, and she started thinking about Noah’s kiss all over again.
The service was being held at the home of John Miller, the local blacksmith. The widower lived with his mother on a small farm a mile from Fannie’s home. Like many Amish homes, the walls of the downstairs could be opened up to accommodate members of the congregation during services that were held every other Sunday. Wooden benches had been placed in two rows where women sat on one side while the men sat on the other.
She should be minding the words of the bishop’s preaching, but all Fannie could think about was riding home with Noah that evening. After the singing that would be held for the youth following supper. After dark.
Would he kiss her again?
She gave herself a mental shake. The whole idea was ridiculous. How could she pretend to be interested in Noah when she wasn’t? The longer she thought about it, and she’d spent most of the night thinking about it, the less she wanted to go through with it. The only answer was to call the whole thing off.
She couldn’t silence the talk among the girls who’d seen him kiss her, but it would die down and none of them were likely to spread the story if Noah didn’t come around again. George would forget about it soon enough, and he knew very few Amish folk.
Calling it off was the right decision. She would tell Noah as soon as she had the chance.
She glanced at the mirror again. She could see a half dozen of the young unmarried men and boys in the reflection. They were all seated at the back of the room nearest the door. They would be the first to leave when the three-hour service was over. Several of them drew frowns from the ministers by their restlessness as the end approached. Fannie couldn’t blame them. The backless wooden benches were hard. She focused again on the heavy black songbook in her hands. She had been desperate, and her spur-of-the-moment plan had been foolish. There had to be a better way. If only she could think of one.
“Why is Noah Bowman watching you?” Betsy whispered in her ear.
Fannie glanced up and met Noah’s eyes in the mirror. He nodded slightly to acknowledge her. A rush of heat filled her cheeks and she looked down quickly. “I have no idea.”
“Shveshtah, you’re blushing.” Betsy smirked, causing several nearby worshippers to look their way.
Fannie shot her sister a fierce stare and Betsy turned her attention back to the bishop. Fannie glanced in the mirror again.
Unlike yesterday, Noah was dressed plain in black pants and a black coat over a pale blue shirt. He was indistinguishable from the other Amish men around him except for the shorter haircut he wore. He wasn’t the most handsome one of the Bowman brothers. Luke was the best looking while Samuel was the most hardworking, but Noah was nice looking in his own way. She liked his eyes the best. Her sister called them forget-me-not blue. Fannie liked the way they sparkled when he smiled. And he was almost always smiling.
Except when he was around her.
Not that she smiled that much around him, either. Ever since that evening in his mother’s garden, they seemed to rub each other the wrong way. Fannie couldn’t put her finger on the reason.
People around her began singing and Fannie joined in, knowing it was the final hymn of the service. Normally the preaching seemed long, but not today. Today it ended all too quickly. When she walked outside, Noah was waiting for her off to the side of the house with his straw hat in his hands. She clutched her fingers together and walked toward him.
“You look like a martyr heading to your own execution. Try smiling.” He nodded to someone behind her.
Fannie swallowed the comment that sprang to her lips and smiled instead. “Is this better?”
“Vennich.”
“A little is better than nothing.” She looked over her shoulder and saw his mother smiling warmly at them. Anna winked at her and waved before snagging Fannie’s mother by the arm, and the two of them walked away with their heads close together.
Fannie kept her grin in place with difficulty as she turned back to Noah. “You didn’t tell your mother we were going out, did you?”
He gave her a sheepish look and shrugged. “I kind of did.”
Fannie pointed to their mothers as they stood talking to each other. “She’s going to tell my mother, and I haven’t mentioned it to her.”
“Mamm put me on the spot.”
“In what way?”
He grabbed Fannie’s arm and led her around the side of the building. “She said I had to end my rumspringa and look for a wife this summer. She meant it, so I told her I was already seeing you. This is what you wanted, isn’t it? This was your idea.”
Why hadn’t she thought this through before rushing over to see Noah? “I was thinking my mother was the only one who needed to believe we were going out. I didn’t consider how your mother would feel about it.”
“She’s thrilled. Very, very thrilled.”
Fannie closed her eyes and cringed. “Of course she is. She and my mother are the best of friends. How are we going to break it to them that we aren’t getting married?”
“Whoa. Slow down, Fannie. Don’t get ahead of yourself. We haven’t had a date yet. Let’s stick to the plan at least until the second week of August.”
That was the weekend of the Horse Expo, but he didn’t know that. “Why then?”
“The state invitational baseball tournament is being held that weekend.”
She took a step away from him. “Wait a minute. You told your mother we were going out so you could keep playing baseball this summer?”
“Don’t take that tone with me. I have my reasons for agreeing to this just like you had your reasons for coming up with this idea.”
And to think she had been wondering if he liked her even a little. “It’ll never work. I’m sorry I ever suggested it.”
“Don’t be hasty. I’m willing to give it a try, unless you have your heart set on leaving for Florida next week.”
She folded her arms across her middle. How could she tell Connie she’d changed her mind after assuring her friend she would help her? She couldn’t. “It looks like you and I are stuck with each other for the summer. Very well. What are your plans for our first date?”
“We do what normal people do. We’ll stay for the singing tonight and I’ll take you home afterward.”
“Don’t expect an invitation to come in and visit, the way normal couples do.”
“If I get home too early, my parents are going to think we didn’t hit it off.”
“So drive around for an hour or two.”
“I’m not wearing out a good horse just to make you happy.”
“You wouldn’t know a good horse if you tripped over one.”
“How can you, of all people, say that?”
She opened her mouth to reply, but his brother Joshua came around the corner of the building. “Here you are. It’s our turn to go in and eat, Noah.”
“Danki, I’m coming.”
Joshua smiled at Fannie. “Would you care to join Mary and Hannah when they go in? I know they would enjoy visiting