The way his mouth is set, he almost looks jubilant. ‘As I said before, it’s over to you now. That’s your problem, not mine.’
Last week I might have let that go. Ten minutes ago I might have shied away. But thanks to the cow shit, something’s shifted inside me. I shove my hands deep into the pockets of my Barbour and clench my teeth.
‘Fine.’ I stick out my chin, begin to take a deep breath, then think better of it and take a small sniff instead. ‘If I’m in charge, I say, we won’t be having muck spreading in this field, and we won’t be having it in the surrounding fields either. Is that clear?’
I reel at how decisive I sound.
‘I’ll stop it then,’ he mutters. ‘But it won’t be good for the soil in the long term.’ With a loud sigh he turns away and gets out his phone.
‘Soil isn’t my problem,’ I hiss.
No, my problems are way bigger. Like how to deal with the nightmare known as Rafe Barker. And how to prepare for a wedding, in only five weeks’ time, when, thanks to the chaos left behind by Carrie, I don’t have the first clue how to get in contact with the bride and groom.
In my flat at Brides by the Sea: Anyone like a cupcake?
After the shock of the news that her wedding venue was under threat, Cate didn’t want to tempt fate and look at bridesmaids dresses last Saturday. But now her wedding’s back on track, we’ve arranged to look at the bridesmaids’ dresses after work today. And to put us in the country wedding mood, I’m making a last minute batch of cupcakes. So I’m in my cosy, pocket handkerchief size kitchen, sprinkling sugar daisies on top of swirls of lemon buttercream when Immie’s text arrives.
I’m here, I’m early, are you in? xx
She’s not kidding about early. I was counting on another half an hour to finish the cupcakes, and to get changed. Dragging off my apron, I clatter down four flights of stairs, and fling open the door to find Immie, legs bowing under the weight of a huge box.
I waft her into the hall with a couple of air kisses. ‘I didn’t know you were bringing dresses.’
‘I’m not.’ Her frown is uncertain. ‘I have a feeling you’re going to kill me for this, but I had a tutorial in Falmouth, so I’ve been round to see Brett.’
‘What …?’ I open and close my mouth, as I collapse quietly against the door frame, but nothing more comes out.
‘After what you said about Carrie’s stuff, I thought it was time you had yours.’ Immie blows out her cheeks. ‘Actually the car’s rammed.’
What …? At least she has the decency to look slightly shame faced, which doesn’t happen often with Immie.
‘I’m sorry Pops, but someone had to do it.’ She dumps the box by the stairs. ‘Come on, the car won’t unload itself.’ Before I can open my mouth to protest, she grabs my arm, and the next thing I know we’re shuttling up and down the cobbled mews behind the shop, with bags and boxes.
By five when Cate arrives, Immie and I are red and sweating, and my tiny top floor bedroom is piled high with bulging black sacks.
‘Packing up to move to the farm already?’ Cate takes off her Alice band and shakes out her hair. Then she slips off her mac, strides over a stray bag, and lays her coat on the bed.
‘No, this lot is on its way in, from a certain penthouse.’ Immie explains for Cate’s benefit. ‘I’m re-uniting Poppy with her festival wellies,’ She gives me one of her tough love stares. ‘It’s time to accept that you and Brett are over, Poppy.’
‘I see,’ Cate sounds doubtful. She’s left work early to do bridesmaid shopping not a house move. It’s Friday afternoon. After a hard week she’s looking forward to a glass of prosecco, and a cosy session in the shop downstairs.
I twiddle with the edge of a black bag. ‘I think leaving my things behind was a way of playing for time.’ With my things here, the break up suddenly feels very concrete and final. And it’s not about losing Brett, it’s more about accepting that from now on, I’m on my own. And that’s me on my own forever, because I’m done with relationships. ‘It’s hard to think I might never be part of a couple again. Or a family.’
Cate’s arm lands round my shoulder. ‘Move to the farm, and be nearer Immie and me. We’re your family.’
Immie nods in agreement.
The thought of leaving my cosy attic in the heart of St Aidan is bad enough, but anywhere near Rafe Barker would be my worst nightmare at the moment. ‘What? And live next door to the boss from hell?’
Cate scours my face for clues. ‘You and Rafe aren’t getting on?’
Immie laughs. ‘Understatement of the decade. The good news is our meek mouse Poppy has finally found her inner lioness.’
‘I’m so sorry, Pops, it’s all my fault you’re in this situation.’ Then suddenly a beam spreads across Cate’s face. ‘But the lion bit sounds good, what happened?’
‘Anyone like a cupcake?’ I try to distract them. ‘There’s fizz in the fridge too.’
They don’t move. When were they not bribed by the promise of prosecco?
‘Come through, and I’ll tell you while I open the bottle?’ My last attempt works, and we all cram into the tiny kitchen as I pop the cork. I wait until the girls have wine in hand and mouths full of cake, so they can’t interrupt too much, because between you and me, I’ve been asking myself the exact same question. Why am I jumping down Rafe’s throat all of a sudden, when I can barely say boo to a goose?
‘I’m winging it here,’ I begin, not quite knowing what to say. I’ve inadvertently taken a bite of bun, and as I talk through my cake, the crumbs falling down my front remind me of Rafe picking me up about crumbs on the desk. And suddenly I know. ‘I always bit my tongue with Brett because I didn’t want him to dump me. I never told him what I thought, because I was scared I’d lose him.’
‘So you concede you were a bit of a doormat then?’ Immie is grinning. I’m not sure if it’s the sugar, or the first wine of the day going to her head.
Immie’s glass is already empty, so I top her up, ignoring the doormat bit. ‘Brett acted like he was the boss, and that was fine because he was better than me.’ I ignore Cate and Immie’s matching appalled looks and blown out cheeks, and carry on. ‘I gave up a good job to live with him, but once we were together here, he was the one with the big salary, the flat, the fast car. All I did was bake a few cakes.’
‘I’ll let that amazing piece of self-dismissal go …’ Immie is shaking her head. ‘But how come you tell Rafe exactly what you think?’
‘Ha, that’s easy.’ I don’t hesitate. ‘To start with I was really angry that he nearly robbed you of your wedding, Cate. And fighting your corner is way easier than doing it for myself.’
‘Go Poppy!’ Cate cheers. ‘Thanks for that.’
‘The wedding side is in complete chaos.’ I have to be careful here, because I don’t want to alarm Cate. If she knew there was no trace of her booking she might just lose it. ‘In confidence,’ I meet eyes with Cate, ‘to give you an idea, there’s a wedding booked for a month’s time, but I’ve got no clue at all who made the booking, and no way of getting in touch with them.’
Cate’s eyes go wide. ‘Oh crap …’