‘A trade?’ Her voice was husky and she cleared her throat.
‘I will try to find out who Eldritch is...’
‘And what must I do?’ Her expression was wary, but she did not pull away and if anything the tension in her shoulders relaxed, as if becoming accustomed to the licence he was taking. He wasn’t certain that was an encouraging sign either.
‘If it is about turning my back on this, then there is no trade,’ she added as the silence stretched.
‘I wouldn’t think of asking for something I know you are constitutionally incapable of. It is something much simpler.’
‘Well, what?’ She frowned and he hesitated. However much he wanted to test this strange need that was sinking its claws in him, the thought of asking her for something she had shown such an aversion to when approached by her friend was too uncomfortable. It was a breach of trust where trust should not be an issue at all, and that was problematic. He breathed in and dropped his hand, stepping back.
‘Never mind.’
She moved towards him.
‘No. Tell me what it is!’
The command should have served further to convince him he should leave this room, this house, this peculiar woman’s fantasy. Instead it prodded further at his own fantasy.
‘You tell me. What would that information be worth?’
‘Do you mean in monetary terms?’
‘No. I have no need for your money. This is pointless. Goodbye, Miss Silverdale.’
She caught his arm.
‘Oh, please just tell me. I need your help, but I have nothing else to offer but my money. Nothing someone like you might value, at least.’
‘Someone like me?’
Her beseeching eyes fell from his.
‘Someone with...experience. I can hardly imagine you would wish for anything along such lines from someone like me.’
‘Someone like you?’
‘Unremarkable.’ The word burst from her as if it had been lodged in her throat. It was not her word, and that was surprising in itself. Who in their right mind would call this woman unremarkable?
‘That is one epithet I would never associate with you. Believe me, Miss Silverdale, you are one of the most remarkable women of my acquaintance.’
Her cheeks, already pink, heated and so did every cell in his body. He touched his fingers lightly to the hand clutching his arm so desperately.
‘I will pledge to find this Mr Eldritch for you if I can.’
Her hand did not relax.
‘You will? Just like that? Without recompense?’
‘Without. But then you are on your own.’
She let go and as her tension seeped away he saw the return of her curiosity.
‘What were you about to ask for, Lord Sinclair?’
‘You have what you wanted. What difference does it make?’
‘I dare say it doesn’t, but I am curious.’
He sighed. ‘Of course you are. You will be pleased to find you were spared the noxious experience of being asked for a kiss.’
Her eyes widened in disbelief.
‘A kiss?’
‘You needn’t sound so shocked.’
‘You cannot be serious,’ she said, her voice scolding.
‘Rarely, but in this instance I am. It was merely a kiss, I was not about to ask for your first-born child.’
‘But why?’
‘Now that is a question worthy of being ignored. You have what you want. Now I had best leave before you further crush my vanity underfoot.’
‘I am not... It is merely that it seems a little silly. I mean, the gossip columnists hint you have dozens of mistresses, why would you wish for a kiss from me?’
‘I’m beginning to wonder that myself. Do you know you are the most aggravating woman...girl...whatever... I have ever met? Goodbye, Miss Silverdale.’
‘Wait.’
Despite his better judgement he paused at the door. ‘What now, Miss Silverdale?’
‘Did you really wish to kiss me?’ She looked so confused his impatience waned. His frustration on the other hand...
‘I do, but it was extremely foolish of me to make that suggestion. I am well aware that despite your Spinner Street fantasies you are a respectable young woman and one with a dislike of being...approached. That much was evident by your martyr’s stance when Payton’s son did no more than tickle your cheek.’
She pressed her hands to her cheeks.
‘It isn’t that I... I never did until...’
Anger bubbled up in him at this confirmation of his suspicion. He wondered what clumsy fool had left his mark on her. It probably wasn’t the boring Payton boy, she seemed quite fond of him and the kiss they exchanged had been as unthreatening as being accosted with a daisy. Still, it was all the more reason to leave now. She wasn’t his responsibility.
‘Someone hurt you.’
Her mouth thinned.
‘Someone lied to me and used me and that hurt most of all, but he never... It hardly matters, it is in the past. But you are wrong about Colin. I didn’t wish for him to kiss me because he would then read into that single kiss a hundred things I am not ready for and I would once again find myself in a corner, with no choices that reflect my own wishes. This is different; you don’t want anything from me but a kiss and I am still not quite certain why you want even that. Do you understand?’
He refrained from correcting her that what he wanted went quite a bit beyond a mere kiss.
‘I think I do.’
She smiled, her eyes narrowing, more honey than green. They were speculative now and he remembered how she inspected him that first day in the church—even though she had been tense and afraid, there was that same assessing gaze, measuring his worth.
‘May we try, then?’
‘Try what?’ He was rapidly losing control of the situation. She could not possibly mean...
‘Kissing. I cannot bear the thought that every time I think of it I must think of...him. When Henry died I decided that perfidious wretch had affected my life far too much. So perhaps this is a good idea. I wish to take his power away and I may not have such an opportunity again. After all, I know I can trust you not to tattle. I’m a little worried, though. What if I do hate it? Do you think you could contrive to be convincing?’
Only a madman would pick up that hand with the cards so absolutely stacked against him. He might on occasion be a little reckless, though certainly less than society imagined, but he never...
‘I could try.’
‘Good. Thank you.’
She straightened resolutely, shoulders back. Her cheeks were still flushed, but the animation was fading from her features and she looked as she had in the church waiting for that young man to kiss her.
Contrarily it was the anxiety behind the determination that held him there. It made no sense for someone as intensely passionate as she to react with such a mixture of resolution and fear to a mere kiss. He wasn’t certain if he agreed with her experimentation analogy,