He began to plot.
‘Eat your pie, my dear. You’ll be glad of the sustenance, later.’
She sputtered on the mouthful of pastry she’d just taken and began to choke. Crumbs sprayed everywhere as she coughed. Her eyes watered and her face turned red.
Ben was alarmed. He only meant to tease her, not harm her. He patted her back with one hand, took up his jug of ale with the other, and held it to her mouth.
‘Drink.’ His tone brooked no argument. To his utter relief she did as he asked.
‘Th … thank you.’ She sputtered and coughed again. ‘No, no more, I beg you. Ale is never my drink of choice.’
He picked up the wine. She paled.
‘Not if you want me coherent.’
Ben laughed. He was enjoying himself. ‘Coherent is not necessary. Not comatose is. Drink.’
Her eyes narrowed, but she took a small sip.
‘Satisfied, my lord?’
‘Not in the slightest, my dear. However, I’m sure I will be’ – he paused, and drank some ale – ‘later.’
Clarissa put the goblet onto the table very carefully. Ben watched her warily as her hand tightened around the base and then relaxed. He had an inkling that she rather wished it were his neck it circled and compressed.
He waited for a retort or a query. None came. She walked her fingers through the air over the array of cakes and picked one up. ‘Ah, marchpane. My favourite. This is an excellent collation, don’t you think, my lord? To get it as perfect as this shows such a high standard of housewifery. And the napkins. Exquisite embroidery. They are a credit to the trade. ’Tis no wonder this is such a popular place. How did you manage to bespoke this private parlour?’
She chatted on in such a hostess-y way that Ben wanted to laugh. He deduced by the gleam in her eyes she spoke in that manner on purpose.
‘Money,’ he said.
Her lips twitched.
‘How satisfactory it is that you have enough for such niceties. Perhaps as you are so generous with your largesse on their behalf, I can ask her for the recipe for the fancy cakes? Apart from which, I must remember to congratulate the landlord and his wife. What is their name? I do think praise should be given when it’s due, don’t you?
‘Indubitably, my dear. And I hand it to you in copious amounts. That is so well done, I have no fear whatsoever that the role of my lady has not been filled to perfection.’
To Ben’s delight she put the cake back on the plate uneaten and giggled. The giggle turned into full-blown laughter, and her shoulders heaved. Tears ran down her face once more, but he could tell by her expression they were tears of helpless enjoyment, not due to choking. His heart became lighter to see this hidden side of his wife. Ben realised he’d done little over the past months to try to see her as anything other than a chore.
Eventually she lifted the starched square of linen provided as a napkin and wiped her eyes.
‘I wonder if you’ll think that once the novelty has worn off?’ she said, somewhat cryptically.
‘It’s no novelty,’ Ben said. She didn’t look as if she believed him. ‘Our marriage is permanent and for ever. It won’t become a habit, or discarded once the newness has worn off.’
‘Hmm, if you say so, my lord.’ She sounded even more sceptical.
Ben had the uneasy feeling that what each of them expected from marriage didn’t mesh.
‘However, there is one thing we need to get straight now,’ Clarissa said in a firm, no-nonsense tone.
Ben didn’t think he’d like her next sentence.
‘Do not for one minute think you’re sharing my bedchamber tonight.’
He was correct. He didn’t.
‘Clary, love,’ he began.
She held her hand up. ‘If there is something else guaranteed to make me not agree with whatever is asked, it is to call me Clary. However, even if you call me by my given name, or any other designated salutation, the answer is the same. No. Now, if you will excuse me. I think I shall retire. Alone. Immediately.’
And no doubt lock and bolt the door. Things were going from bad to worse.
Ben looked at the long case clock in the corner. ‘It’s only four in the afternoon.’ She obviously hadn’t realised that. They’d eaten between mealtimes due to their enforced delay. ‘Would you accompany me for a walk? He looked at her feet. They were clad in sensible half boots of soft kid, which were obviously designed for comfort on the journey. ‘I’ve changed horses here on many an occasion and if we go a little way up the lane across the road there’s a pretty view over the valley. It would do us good to stretch our legs.’ It might also give them a chance to talk again in a sensible, rational manner.
She tilted her head to one side. ‘Let me freshen up.’
****
Half an hour later, Clarissa allowed her husband to tuck her arm in his and accompanied him down a grassy lane out of the village. The late afternoon sun was warm enough for her to carry a lightweight shawl and not wear anything heavier over her travelling dress. She might not be enamoured of her marital status, or the stories told to her about her husband by every gossip in the ton, but she still had no intention of appearing anything less than her best. Her deep blue dress suited her complexion, and the lighter blue shawl lifted the outfit to be suitable for the weather.
Clarissa enjoyed walking, and even if the pace Ben kept was a little too slow for her liking, it was good to stroll along, smell the grass, and listen to the birds. Across to her right cattle lowed, and she guessed it was milking time. Although she rarely admitted it, Clarissa could milk a cow as well as any milkmaid, and the pleasure of drinking the milk, while it was still warm and frothy, was one she relished.
As they rambled together, chatting about the hedgerow flowers – Ben was remarkably well informed – and the agreeable weather, Clarissa realised it would be all too easy to forget her worries, and keep this peaceful interlude going. However, she had never been someone to shy away from unpleasant things or let them drift. The sleeping arrangements had to be settled.
‘My lord,’ she said. ‘We need to talk.’
‘My lady,’ Ben said. ‘Now we are wed, I’m sure it is quite permissible for you to call me Theodore, or, as I would prefer, Ben.’
‘Hmm.’
‘For the love of all things holy.’ Ben almost shouted the words. ‘Stop saying hmm. Please, I beg you. Say no or maybe or what on earth are you saying. Not hmm.’
Clarissa’s mind went into overload. What? She realised ‘hmm’ was her ‘I have no idea what to say’ word.
‘What on earth are you saying?’ she asked desperately. ‘I am at a loss. Except in the matter of my sleeping accommodation. I will not …’
‘Share – yes, I understand,’ Ben said and the disheartenment in his voice was easy to hear. ‘But, my love, hear me out. Perhaps if I promise to put a bolster between us? If I give you my oath not to go under the sheets, please can I at least rest my body on the mattress?’
His voice was so serious that Clarissa stopped walking and turned to him. ‘Why?’
Ben shrugged. ‘Oh, so many reasons. Pride? Certainly. Worry you will not be protected? Most definitely. The need for sleep? Oh yes. But most of all, I have a need to be near you. Why?’
He held her shoulders lightly with his fingers. His touch set off the strange tingles