Yet she was so comfortable in Jaiven’s bed, with Jaiven’s body snugged around hers, his breathing slow and easy, his eyes closed although Louise didn’t think he was actually asleep.
“I should go,” she finally said, and began, admittedly only halfheartedly, to rise from the bed. Jaiven just tightened his hold on her and she relaxed back into him even though she knew she shouldn’t. She was pretty sure pillow talk wasn’t part of either of their fantasies.
“Why?” he asked, and she could hear the rumble of his voice through her hand on his chest.
“Because it’s late and I need to cab it back to the Upper West Side. I can’t imagine there are many taxis cruising around the Bronx at one in the morning.”
“If you think I’m letting you go outside and look for a cab dressed in just that coat, you’re crazy,” Jaiven answered. “I could call you a car,” he continued, his arms still wrapped around her. “But I won’t.”
“And why won’t you?”
“Because I like you right here.”
And she liked being here. Too much. So she put up a fight, mostly because it felt like the right thing to do. Draw a line in the sand, as it were: sex, not sleeping. Fantasy, not the all too welcome reality of two warm bodies cuddled together on a bed.
She decided to keep it light. “So, what, you have a fantasy about spooning with a woman in bed while whispering sweet nothings into her ear?”
Louise felt Jaiven’s body tense, his hands still on her bare back, and she realized she’d made a mistake. She’d meant to sound joking but Jaiven had obviously seen through that paper-thin facade to the real and messy emotion underneath.
Because that’s my fantasy.
Except it wasn’t. Couldn’t be. Wouldn’t be, because she wasn’t ready for a relationship at all, much less with someone like Jaiven.
A man like me.
What had he meant by that, anyway? Someone who collected women’s panties as personal trophies? Your average commitmentphobe? Did it even matter?
Clearly she needed to get out of here before he booted her out. Or before she started begging to stay. Either option was awful.
“Seriously, I have work tomorrow,” she said as she slipped from Jaiven’s embrace. His arms fell to his sides as he let her go, and Louise tried not to let that hurt.
This was about enjoying a fling, exploring some sexual fantasies, she reminded herself as she searched for her clothes. And that was all.
“I think you might run into a problem,” Jaiven informed her lazily. He’d rolled onto his back and lay there with his arms crossed underneath his head, unashamedly and quite magnificently naked.
“The problem being?” Louise asked as she stood there, not quite so unashamedly naked, wishing she’d thought about the coming home part of showing up in a trench coat and heels. The return trip wasn’t nearly as appealing.
“You don’t have anything to wear home.”
“I have my coat.”
Jaiven’s gaze swept over her, and she saw the heat flare in his eyes. It still amazed her that he actually desired her. If she hadn’t seen and felt the proud evidence she never would have believed it.
But maybe that was just because despite ten years to get over it, not to mention all the self-help books on female empowerment and a PhD in the politics of gender, she still felt as if she didn’t measure up as a woman. As a person.
Thanks to a husband who had informed her she didn’t—and had shown her in ways she couldn’t bear to remember—all too often.
But she wasn’t going to think about Jack now. She’d managed not to think about him for ten years. She’d like to keep that trend going.
“I can’t,” he told her, his voice silky, “allow you to leave here in nothing but that coat.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not safe.”
“I was perfectly safe coming over here.”
“It was early evening, then, and you weren’t trawling the Bronx looking for a cab.”
“I thought you were going to call me a private car.”
“I said I could. But I think I won’t.”
She shook her head, exasperated, and yes, still naked. Still feeling a little embarrassed, now that the flood of confidence-building desire had receded. How repressed was she, that she could not hold a conversation in the nude? It wasn’t even just about body image; it was about herself. Feeling exposed. Bracing herself to be criticized or worse. All those old hang-ups were coming back to haunt her now, and she didn’t like the feeling at all.
“I’ll call myself one then,” she told him. “It’s simpler all around if I go now.”
“Really? Because I think it’s simpler if you stay. I can take you home tomorrow, after I buy you some proper clothes.”
“Buy me clothes?”
“Another one of my fantasies.”
“I can’t imagine shopping is one of your fantasies.”
He smiled and, reaching up with one hand, grabbed her own and tugged her back to the bed. “You’d be surprised.”
She eyed him skeptically. “What about buying a woman clothes appeals to you?” She’d let him pull her onto the bed; she’d even snuggled up next to him and arched like a cat as he smoothed a hand over her body. She was completely spineless. And she felt boneless under his caressing hand, everything in her melting with pleasure.
“Well, let me see…” Jaiven cupped her breast in his palm and Louise squirmed with pleasure. “Seeing you try them on, certainly. Taking them off, definitely. And I’ve never actually had sex in a dressing room before. I think that could be a very interesting experience.”
“In a dressing room?” Louise’s voice ended on a sigh as he bent his head and applied his mouth to her breast. “Is that really a fantasy of yours?”
“It might be now. I have a lot of fantasies when it comes to you, Louise.”
Which seemed incredible, if he really meant it. Maybe it was just the Jaiven Rodriguez version of pillow talk.
And yet, Louise thought before her mind blurred completely, it seemed that flattery would get him everywhere.
Chapter Five
HE’D NEVER HAD a woman stay the night before. He rarely brought women back to his place; the penthouse suite of The Black Book had always suited his purposes admirably.
He was breaking a lot of his rules when it came to Louise Jensen, Jaiven thought ruefully, and not without a small surge of alarm. Rule breaking was dangerous. It could crack open things inside him that made it easier to care, and he couldn’t care. Didn’t want to go down that damaging path. He’d been there before and he’d prefer not to have a return trip, thanks very much.
But he didn’t care about Louise, he decided as he gazed down at her sleeping next to him, her knees nearly brought up to her chest, one hand flung up by her face. He didn’t know her well enough to care about her. They’d had some glorious sex and very little conversation, and that was exactly how he liked it. No danger of falling for someone when you had no idea what was going on in her head.
Except