The Charleston. Georgia Hill. Читать онлайн. Newlib. NEWLIB.NET

Автор: Georgia Hill
Издательство: HarperCollins
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Жанр произведения: Зарубежный юмор
Год издания: 0
isbn: 9780007562190
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      “Well,” said an annoyingly persistent voice in Merry’s head, “I’ll have to ring her up and admit I’ve failed. Again.” She picked up her bag, hunted for her bottle of water and drank deeply. Once her thirst had been satisfied, she stuffed her things into her rucksack and swung it onto her shoulder. Giving a last affectionate glance around the cramped dressing room, she called goodbye to one or two people through the murk in the club and went out into the unwelcoming night.

      It was icy. Cycling home past students, just coming out for the evening, she wondered quite why she was putting herself through this.

      To keep her parents happy, she’d finished her degree in English Lit at Magdalen College, but had missed the hoped for first as she had been too busy appearing in Oxford Drama Society productions. The acting bug had bitten deep and hard. Encouraged by her paternal great-aunt, Merry had pursued a dual career on the stage as actor and comedian. Bits and pieces of acting jobs had come her way, mostly courtesy of fellow students, but they’d dried up recently. So, she’d begged a favour off Del and had appeared at the comedy club for the last week. She knew she was funny. She knew she was clever and witty, but somehow she could never get that across to her audience. Ever the optimist, she’d been full of hope that her wry, affectionate observations on life would go down a storm with the Oxford audiences. What she hadn’t bargained for was that the combination of an alcohol fuelled audience and a woman under fifty simply meant catcalls and heckles to get her tits out. She’d died onstage every night. And every night she’d died a little bit inside too.

      She was twenty six in six months’ time. Her parents had been patient until now, letting her ‘mess about with this comedy nonsense’ as they termed it but her twenty sixth birthday was the deadline they’d set. Make it by then or give up and do something sensible. Something with a future, they’d suggested, something which can give you a pension.

      Merry looked up into the neon-lit sky as cold sleety rain began to fall. She cycled harder in a vain attempt to keep warm.

      Crouching over the one bar gas heater in her bedsit later that night she confessed all to Venetia on the phone, spurred on by the remainder of a Christmas bottle of Baileys.

      “So I’m going to have to get a job. A proper one.”

      “Oh my darling, surely not?”

      “I can’t see any alternative, Venetia. Ma and Pa issued an ultimatum. I’ve got to get myself sorted. And, to be fair, you can see their point of view. It cost them a fortune to put me through uni. I’ve got to pay them back somehow.”

      Venetia huffed, “They’ve never understood what it takes to get established in this business. Your father especially, has no idea. After all, you’ve only just begun. A job indeed!” Venetia added, in scandalised tones. To her it was the ultimate degradation. Venetia had worked consistently throughout her long and illustrious career and did everything she could to ensure it was on her terms. She’d only picked those roles which she knew would serve her unique talents well. And it had worked. Admitting to seventy, she was a grande dame of the acting world, her appearance belying the wild excesses of her youth. She was also a firm believer in following your heart. The practicalities would follow. She said as much to Merry.

      “Well that’s fine, aunty, but I still have three weeks rent to pay and I haven’t been able to eat today.” Merry tried hard not to sound pathetic. It wasn’t in her nature to admit defeat.

      “My darling child, this can’t go on.”

      “You’re telling me. Now I’ve lost the gig with Del, I won’t even be able to scrounge food out of the club’s kitchen. I’ll really miss those fajitas.” Merry’s stomach rumbled in memory.

      “Merry, can you come and stay?” Venetia said suddenly.

      “What, at Little Barford?” Merry said, referring to her aunt’s country home in the Cotswolds.

      “No, I’ve taken a flat in town. It’s so convenient for my radio work.” Venetia had recently been recording a classic series for Radio Four. “I’ve got an idea which may just save your career.”

      “Well, what is it?”

      “Meredith child, you’ll just have to reign in your impatience for once. Come as soon as you can though darling, won’t you?”

      Merry looked round at her tiny attic bedsit, with its single bed and lone window giving a smeared outlook onto one of Oxford’s less attractive views. “Can I come tomorrow, aunty?”

      Twenty-four hours later, Merry was blissfully wrapped in luxury in Venetia’s Maida Vale mansion block apartment. She lay back on the cream leather sofa and stretched out her long legs.

      “This is nice,” she sighed, burying her toes in the thick carpet, which covered the floor of the glamorous sitting room. She looked around and admired the nineteen twenties polished cherry wood furniture. “It’s so nice to be warm for a change. I could get used to this. I like Big Barry.”

      Venetia looked up from where she was pouring herself another glass of wine. “The doorman? He is a sweetie. A big fan of mine, you know.”

      Merry regarded her aunt fondly. “Everyone’s a big fan of yours. Del sends his love by the way.”

      Venetia had the grace to blush ever so slightly. “Such a sweet boy.”

      Amused at the idea of Del being described as a boy, Merry snorted into her wine. He was in his mid-forties at least. “He’s married now. His wife’s expecting their first baby.”

      Her aunt shook her head. “I wouldn’t have imagined him doing anything so conventional,” she said incredulously. “And how is that club that he runs doing?”

      Merry yawned and tried to make an effort to be sociable. They’d just eaten a delicious meal, and she’d drunk most of the bottle of Merlot her aunt had produced. She was feeling very mellow. “He’s making a mint.”

      “By that quaint expression, I assume you mean it’s doing well?” Venetia came to sit by Merry on the sofa.

      “Yes Venetia.” Merry laughed and gave in. Her aunt was obviously in a mood to talk. “So why did you lure me over here?” She gestured to their surroundings. “Not that I’m complaining. This is heaven.”

      Venetia smirked and Merry’s heart sank. She knew that look. It was the one when her aunt had A Plan.

      “I’ve got A Plan,” Venetia said ominously.

      Merry shifted uneasily. “I thought you might.”

      “Do you watch Who Dares Dances, dear girl?”

      Merry shrugged and shook her head. “What is it?”

      Venetia tutted. “It’s a television programme.”

      “Who Dares Dances? Sounds like something you have to paint your face green and wear camouflage gear for.”

      Venetia looked mystified.

      Merry waved her glass perilously. “SAS,” she explained somewhat obliquely. “Isn’t their motto, ‘Who Dares Wins’?”

      “Very droll, my dear.” Venetia raised her eyebrows in an attempt to humour her great-niece. “It’s actually a sort of dance reality show.”

      “Don’t watch much telly.” Merry yawned again. Her only thought was to get into the vast bed in her aunt’s spare room.

      “Well, a weekly audience of three million viewers might disagree.”

      Merry sat up and only just saved her glass of red from splashing onto the sofa. How many?”

      “Three million. A week.” Venetia was satisfied she’d got her niece’s full attention now.

      “F - I mean, blimey.”

      “Quite. And just what is the capacity at dear Del’s club?”

      “Two