She wrinkled her nose. “I know. You know how I tend to second-guess myself. It just seems like I’ll be throwing them out in the street come fall. I’ve been where they once were and also where they’re going. I don’t want them to ever feel abandoned.”
Dallas pulled Lanier closer to him. “That won’t happen. They know what love is because of you and Ashleigh. You won’t lose a single one. Going off to college will be good for everyone.”
Lanier managed a half smile. “I hope you’re right.” She paused for a moment. “There’s something else I’ve also thought a lot about.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “I’ve never lived alone. In every foster home I’ve lived in, there has always been at least five or six other kids.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. Once my brothers and I went off to college, we only came home for holidays and school breaks, no matter how much we missed our parents. After college, we bought our own homes.”
“How did Ms. Angelica cope with all of you leaving home at once?”
“Oh, she missed us a lot, but Dad constantly reminded her that we were no longer little boys. They’d raised us to become men. Setting children free is a normal part of life. Just remember that the girls might not have gotten an opportunity to go to college if they’d been placed elsewhere. Not all foster homes are like the one you and Ashleigh have created.”
“I know that, and it’ll eventually be okay. Once the girls are off to college, I think I should get my own place. Working and living here with the kids is all I’ve known since I resigned my social work position. I want to experience life on my own. I’m thinking of asking two of our assistants to move in here before any new kids arrive. I’ll still work here ten to twelve hours a day, but I want to be able to escape sometimes.”
Dallas sat up straight. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you? I didn’t know you wanted to live anywhere but here.”
“I didn’t either, not until recently. But I want to reinvent myself, so I need to make substantial changes in my life. I’ve never lived alone. Before I moved in with Ashleigh, I had college roommates. After graduation, I shared an apartment with two other women. Ashleigh lives at home and works here…and she’s satisfied with how well it works out. I’m excited about looking for a place of my own.”
Dallas liked the plan, but he couldn’t help wondering what this might mean for their relationship. He wasn’t sure if she was ready for a major move, but the one thing he didn’t want to do was put shackles on her dreams. She was a grown woman who obviously needed to be free.
“Would you consider living with me?” He knew he had said the wrong thing as soon as the words had left his mouth. He realized she needed to do this on her own and should’ve offered his support.
Massaging Dallas’s cheek with the back of her hand, Lanier’s heart raced. “I know why you asked that question. But please believe in me. I know what I want to do, and I know exactly why I feel that way.”
Closing his hand over Lanier’s, Dallas halted her nervous tapping. “I’m sure you do. And I do regret it—it wasn’t a supportive remark. You’re a big girl now and you can take care of yourself. If you can’t, I’m positive you’ll ask for help. Speaking of help, do you want me to help you find a place? I know the condo Houston bought a while back is empty and he doesn’t stay there nearly as much as he’d thought. Maybe he’d lease it.”
“Thanks, but I don’t want to lease from your brother. I’d like to live close to Haven House, not in downtown Houston. I’d love for you to house-shop with me.”
Dallas looked pleased. “Just tell me when you want to get started.”
“This weekend? When can you manage to get away for a few hours?”
“This is the playoffs, and game dates are set as teams advance. I’ll look into it. Hopefully, we can get you your own place before the finals.”
Ashleigh popped into the room just as Dallas and Lanier sealed their deal with a kiss. She normally called Lanier first, but her cell phone battery had died.
Lanier sprang up and took baby Austin from Ashleigh’s arms. “Hey, little A.C. Heard you’ve been hanging with the ladies today! I know grandma had a ball with you.” She kissed the center of his forehead. “Where’d you guys go?” Lanier asked Ashleigh.
“Baybrook Mall. I just dropped by here to collect figures for payroll. I plan to print checks at home again. Is that okay?”
“However you do it is fine with me. Dallas and I just finished making plans for him to help me look for a place.”
“Austin and I can also help out if you want. I can’t believe preseason is almost here. Austin has enjoyed the baby so much that I think he may have a hard time getting his mind back on football.”
“I know he will,” Dallas chimed in. “He’s having the time of his life with A.C. All he talks about is his wife and son. I get a real kick out of hearing him gushing over you two.”
Dallas came over and stood next to Lanier. As he reached out for the cooing baby, she carefully handed him over to his big, strapping uncle.
Watching Dallas intently, Lanier saw how sweet and tender he was toward his nephew. He rained kisses onto the baby’s shock of copper curls and A.C. cooed even more. His hair was just like Ashleigh’s, but the deep dimple in his chin was a Carrington trait.
Lanier couldn’t help wondering what a baby from Dallas would look like. She hadn’t always wanted to become a mother, but after mothering teenagers, she had thought about it.
Since alcoholism was hereditary, Lanier wondered if the awful addiction would plague her own children. She had always been able to control her personal intake of alcohol; an occasional glass of wine or a frozen margarita was all she drank.
Seeing how engrossed Dallas and Lanier were with her son, Ashleigh cleared her throat to grab their attention. “It’s time for me to get on home. There are at least a couple loads of laundry waiting for me, and Austin requested a beef rib roast for dinner.”
Lanier sucked her teeth. “I don’t understand why you don’t use Ms. Stella more. Austin pays her no matter what.”
“I love taking care of my family, so I just save Ms. Stella for special occasions. Austin really appreciates whatever I do around the house, but he’s always telling me to use our housekeeper more.”
If they were to ever marry, Dallas wondered if Lanier would rather have a housekeeper than take care of things herself. Either way was fine with him. His father, Beaumont, had more than enough money to pay for help, but Angelica had done everything. She had used caterers only on special occasions.
Beaumont had always helped out with kitchen duties and laundry, and Dallas could remember him and his brothers laughing at the variety of aprons their dad so proudly wore. He wasn’t afraid of tackling any domestic chore and loved working alongside his beautiful wife.
Ashleigh reached for her child. Baby Austin grinned broadly, stretching his arms out for her. “I’ll see you two soon. Carrington family dinner is next week, and I’m counting on you both to be there.”
Dallas and Lanier nodded, laughing at Ashleigh’s attempt at sternness. Walking over to his sister-in-law, he laid his hand loosely about her waist. “I’ll come outside and help you get A.C. settled in.” Dallas turned to Lanier. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.”
After opening the rear door to the Mercedes SUV, Dallas tucked Austin into his car seat and secured the safety belt. As the baby cooed and blew spit bubbles, he had to laugh. He hadn’t given much thought to having children before his nephew had come along, but now he thought about it too often.
Lanier was the only woman Dallas had ever imagined as the mother of his babies. Not wanting to pressure her, he’d never asked her if she