He rose early, stoked the wood-burning cookstove and went out to do chores while she cooked breakfast. Her privacy was not invaded by his presence, for he used the parlor in which to dress, storing his clothing in a drawer in her dresser, but keeping himself apart from her.
It was a strange arrangement, she knew, but it suited them both, and she found comfort in the companionship he offered. They spoke but little, only words that related to the work they did, he with his building, she with the gardening, and only when she sat on the porch in the evening and watched the sun dip beneath the horizon did she feel the need for more from him.
That he might fill a permanent place in her life was not considered, for she knew he would not linger longer than it would take for him to plot out his future. He had a horse now, and a bit of money set aside, due to his work on the neighboring farm. Soon he would surely be on his way, leaving her alone again.
But better off than before, for he had laid out the fencing for the pasture and by the time the second cutting of hay approached, he had completed the job. Her horses and the milk cow roamed at will beneath the trees, spending their days with heads lowered to the ground, where the meadow grass grew in abundance. The sides of her bay mare rounded more each week it seemed, and it seemed that by the end of winter she would see her own golden mare producing an offspring of her own.
Whether the mare had been covered by a wild mustang or perhaps the neighbor’s stud, a stallion who had frequently escaped confinement and roamed the far pastures and meadows, was a moot question. That her golden mare had had an encounter with the stud was a probability, she knew, and she spoke of it to Tyler.
“If she drops another golden foal, it will have been from the sorrel stud,” she said, watching the horses one day. He stood beside her, and his nod agreed with her prediction.
“I’ve heard that a mare such as yours only breeds true if a sorrel is the sire.”
“It’s what my mother’s people said. And they were experts at the art of raising horses.”
He turned to her, a question alive on his lips. “Did you have any problems in town yesterday?” She’d gone in to the general store with her supply of eggs and butter, and made the trip alone, Tyler remaining at the farm.
“The storekeeper asked if I had a man living with me.” Her voice was quiet, but he sensed the pain behind her reply. “He wanted to know if you had serious intentions where I was concerned. I suppose it was a backhanded way of asking if you were going to marry me.”
“Did he give you a bad time? Or didn’t you tell him the truth?”
“It was none of his business, but he knew already. My neighbor no doubt told about your working for him. And I made it clear that you were a hired hand, and not a permanent fixture here.
“At any rate, he was reluctant to sell supplies to me, but he needed my butter and eggs, so he had no choice. The townsfolk who don’t have animals of their own depend on farmers to supply their needs, and my butter is always rich from the Jersey’s cream.” Her smile smacked of the victory she’d known, there in town, where she had attained a degree of respect.
“So they talk about me being here. Has anyone asked you who I am?”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t have offered anything anyway. I’m not known for being talkative. One of the ladies was curious about you, wondered if I’d known you sometime in the past, and was curious about your living here. She suggested that it didn’t look good for me to have you living here, what with me being a woman alone, but I made it clear that it wasn’t her concern. She only smiled at that and I suspect that there’s talk that we’re…” Her pause was long and he felt a pang of regret that she should be considered the less for his presence in her life.
“Have you ever thought of marriage? Has anyone ever approached you and asked to court you?”
She offered him a look of such surprise he almost laughed aloud. “What’s so strange about such a thing, Debra? You’re a beautiful woman, with a thriving farm, and surely there are men about who would want to possess both you and your property.”
“I’m still a half-breed. No matter how much land I own, or how well my land produces, I’m not a woman to appeal to white men. Perhaps for other reasons, but not for marriage.”
“Have you had problems with the men hereabouts? Have they bothered you?”
She shook her head, then seemed to hesitate. “A bit, but my shotgun has been sufficient to keep them at bay.” She clutched the top rail of the fence tightly. “I fear that I may be taken by surprise someday, that someone may come upon me when I’m in the garden or the shed and my gun is not with me.”
“You don’t carry it, Debra? Would it be wise to keep it by your side?”
She turned to him and her gaze was level. “Not with you here. No one will approach me as long as you stay.” Her smile teased him. “I consider you a form of insurance against predators.”
“And when I’m gone?”
Her head drooped and he thought her shoulders sagged a bit, as if she were troubled by that thought. And then she straightened and her chin lifted, perhaps with pride.
“I’ll be as I was before you got here. Alone, but able to care for myself and what is mine.”
He reached out to her, his fingers brushing the fine skin of her cheek and she inhaled sharply, her eyes widening as if she would withdraw from his touch. He would not allow it, but stepped closer, curving his palm against her face and turning her to better see the expression she wore.
“What if I stayed, Debra? What if I made this my home, and you…” He took a breath, knowing she might flee from his words. “What if we were to marry? Could you spend your life with me, knowing of my past? Knowing I’ve taken a life?”
The words fell between them and she twisted from his touch, her eyes wide with panic, as if she feared him. He would not have it. She had not feared him, had not flinched from his presence in weeks, and now she acted as if he had grown horns.
“Don’t pull away from me,” he said harshly. “I’m still the same man I was ten minutes ago, Debra. I’m not going to pounce on you or hurt you in any way. I thought you knew me well enough by now not to fear me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t fear you. My hesitation is not because you’ve taken a life, for I know you were justified in what you did. I just can’t accept the idea of marriage to a white man. Nor to a man of my mother’s people, for that matter. I will live my life alone.”
“Why?” His question was bold, he knew, but his need to know her thoughts was heavy on him. “Why can’t you be my wife? I wouldn’t expect more of you than what you give me gladly. I’m not a harsh man, nor will I change overnight if you bear my name. I’m free of hindrance, with no family to tie me. And I’m a hard worker, surely you’ve seen that. I wouldn’t be a bad husband.”
Her eyes were dark, black with what appeared to be fear, and he failed to understand what she dreaded. “Do I frighten you, Debra?” And if she nodded, he would mount his horse and leave, for the thought of her fear made him feel less than a man.
She placed the flat of her hand on his chest, and he felt the warmth of it radiate throughout his body. Unmoving, she measured him with her gaze, her eyes taking stock of his face, his arms, the length of his legs and the width of his chest where her palm had laid claim to the body beneath it.
“Your heartbeat is strong,” she said quietly. “It is the beat of an honest heart, Tyler, and you are an honest man. I can not deny that. You have been good to me, you’ve worked for me and taken hold as if this were your own place.” Her tongue touched her upper lip as if she hesitated