He took a deep breath and went down the wide staircase, with its beautifully carved mahogany banisters. As he reached the bottom he paused and she turned her head towards him, making him catch his breath. He was surprised as he looked into her face and saw a stranger. It was Lucy, but not as he remembered her—her face was thinner, older, yet in a way even more lovely—but there was something different. The Lucy Dawlish he’d known had been so open, a trusting, lovely, lively girl who had chattered heedlessly and laughed all the time... This woman had an air of reserve about her...as if she were encased in a crystal, her thoughts and feelings shielded from public gaze.
‘Miss Dawlish,’ he said and held out his hand in greeting. ‘How pleasant to see you.’
‘Captain Ravenscar,’ she replied and made a slight curtsy. ‘I am glad to see you home at last. Your father must be happy that you have come back, I dare say.’
He felt her censure and frowned. He knew well enough that he had neglected both his father and the estate, but he did not care to hear it from her—and it was there in her manner and her eyes.
‘Yes, he is,’ Paul said. ‘It is good of you to enquire. Yesterday, when I arrived, he was very tired, but today he seems better. I sat with him for an hour and we talked of estate matters. If you will excuse me, I shall leave you and Jenny to talk. I have something to do that Father most particularly requested.’ He inclined his head to her and then glanced at Jenny. He gave Lucy a cool look, for he had retreated into that private place within him. She looked at him with eyes that saw too much and he needed to escape. ‘I shall not be at home for luncheon, Jenny—but I shall certainly be back for tea.’
‘Yes, of course, Paul,’ she said, smiling at him. ‘Adam should be home later this afternoon. I told you he had gone to London on business, but he will be so pleased to see you back where you belong.’
Paul nodded and went past them and out into the warm sunshine. It was a few moments before he felt the warmth, for he felt as if he were encased in ice. He was not sure whether he had behaved just as he ought, for it had been such a shock to see Lucy standing there looking so changed...but he hoped that he had said all that was polite to an old friend. She could never be anything more...and she was not the girl of his dreams.
What had happened to change her so? Had she grieved so deeply for his brother?
Walking swiftly towards the agent’s office, he thrust his feelings to the back of his mind. His father had asked him to ride out and speak with one of their farming tenants. The house needed a substantial repair to the roof and it was needful that it should be set in hand at once. Hallam had not made a decision on it before returning to his home, but now that Paul was back at Ravenscar, it would be his decision.
He must attend to business and forget the way his heart had hammered at the first sight of the woman he had once loved. It was his duty to think of the estate and to marry a sensible woman to provide an heir for the title. This foolish yearning must be put aside. Lucy was beyond him and so he must not think of her— besides, she was not the same.
‘Captain Ravenscar,’ Mr Anders said, looking up from his ledgers. ‘What may I do for you, sir?’
‘I have it in mind to take a look at Briars Farm,’ he said. ‘Will you ride out with me, Anders? I should like to see the work that needs to be done for myself...and then we shall set it in train. Now that I am home I intend to see that everything is as it ought to be.’
‘I shall be glad of it, sir. Major Ravenscar is a good man, but he has his own affairs and did not like to go too fast in case it was not in accordance with your wishes...and he would not trouble Lord Ravenscar more than necessary.’
‘My father has put the estate in my hands, as you know.’ Paul smiled, for he liked the honest cut of the man. ‘You shall advise me, sir—but it is my intention to improve the estate. There are many new ideas in agriculture now and we must investigate them...and our people must be properly housed.’
‘I am glad to hear it, sir,’ Anders said. ‘I have wanted to make changes for some time, but Lord Ravenscar was not interested in new methods. He said he was too old to change and it would be up to his sons to take up the new methods.’
‘Well, now we shall begin,’ Paul said. ‘Walk to the stables with me—unless you are too busy?’
‘Nothing that cannot wait,’ his agent said and reached for his hat. ‘It is a lovely day for a ride out.’
* * *
‘Will you not stay and take luncheon with me?’ Jenny said when Lucy came down from visiting Lord Ravenscar. ‘Paul will not be back and I would much rather have your company than eat alone.’
‘Yes, if you wish it,’ Lucy said and looked thoughtful. ‘So much has happened since you first came down here to stay with me, Jenny. You married Adam and you have your darling son. How lucky you were to fall in love with him.’
‘Yes, I am fortunate,’ Jenny said and studied her anxiously. ‘You look tired, Lucy. Are you not quite well?’
‘I am fine, thank you,’ Lucy replied, her hands curling at her sides as she fought her emotions. ‘I suppose it was a shock to see Paul so much changed. Of course he has been away months and people do change. I dare say I am changed myself...’
The way he’d looked at her...not seeing her, but looking through her as if she did not exist. It had felt like a knife stabbing her to the heart. How could he look at her so coldly—as if they had never been more than mere acquaintances?
‘Yes, you are a little,’ Jenny agreed. ‘You seem quieter, more thoughtful than you used to be, Lucy. I think you laughed and cried more easily before you left for Italy. I have not asked...was there no one that you liked? I thought you might marry.’
‘Oh, I liked a great many people and I might have married,’ Lucy said, ‘but I think I was still grieving. However, all that is at an end. I am determined to find a husband for myself as soon as I may. Mama is anxious for me and it is my duty to marry well.’
‘I am glad to hear it,’ Jenny said and laughed softly. She was a pretty girl and marriage agreed with her, the light from within bringing her eyes alive. ‘I should like you to be as happy as I am with Adam. You must look for someone handsome and kind...but the Season in London is sadly over for this year.’
‘Mama spoke of taking me to Bath,’ Lucy said. ‘Papa intends to give a little dance next month. I hope that you and Adam will come? You never know, I might find a gentleman locally who would offer for me—and I should prefer to live not too far distant from my parents. I am their only child, after all.’
‘I suppose that would be nice. I have no parents, of course, only an uncle and aunt. Lord Ravenscar is as dear to me as a father, for he has been so loving towards me. I shall be very sad when he leaves us.’
‘Is there no hope that he will recover now that Paul is home?’
‘I am not sure. The physicians say that it is only a matter of time, but I see an improvement in him. He has hung on this long because he wanted to see Paul again—and now he is home he may recover.’
‘I wish he will have a little longer,’ Lucy said. ‘It will be heartbreaking for Paul to lose his father too soon—though he ought to have returned sooner. I cannot imagine why he stayed away so long. It was thoughtless of him.’
‘I suppose that once he had accepted the commission with Wellington, he could not leave him until it was settled.’ Jenny frowned. ‘I believe he much regrets it now, but Lord Ravenscar is not resentful, merely pleased to have his son home.’
‘Yes...’ Lucy wrinkled her smooth brow. ‘He told me just now how proud he was of Paul for having stuck to his duty. He says that he knows Paul has many improvements in mind for the estate.’
‘Oh, yes,’ Jenny said and laughed. ‘He explained them to me last night in detail, but I fear that I was not truly attending. Jeffery was cutting a tooth and my mind