He changed the subject.
“She gave you your first lesson in cooking, I take it?” He looked past her shoulder to the pots bubbling on the stove.
“Yes. But she said she was going into town to have supper with a friend and not to wait up.”
“Probably Millie’s,” he surmised, naming Gram’s oldest and closest friend. And if she revealed what was going on at Windover Ranch, news of his impending marriage would be common knowledge by coffee time tomorrow.
He discovered he didn’t mind as much as he’d thought he would. For a moment he stared at Alex, picturing her in a long white dress, her mass of dark hair falling over her shoulders, and he couldn’t breathe. Alex lifted the basket again, momentarily placing her palm on the slight bubble of her belly, and his heart contracted painfully.
Connor was as hungry for love as Alex…But he could not, would not, seek it from her. She was leaving, and the one thing he knew he could never do was abandon Windover.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“MIKE’S ON HIS way over. He’s going to run things for me today. I’ve gotta go into Red Deer after lunch.”
Connor made the announcement as cheerfully as he could, successfully hiding his dark feeling of despair. It was nice of his friend Mike to lend a hand, but Connor was fighting a losing battle and he knew it. The source of the outbreak was still being investigated. If anything tied it to his herd he’d have to cull the whole lot. Windover would be finished. And no amount of money would save it, trust fund or not.
He picked at his pancakes, not actually eating much. If Windover was finished, he should release Alex from their agreement. Yet he wasn’t ready to let go. He wasn’t giving up on Windover yet, and he wasn’t going to give up on her either. Sure, he could release her, but then what would she do? He’d made her a promise. And he’d deliver on it no matter what.
“We need to go shopping.” Johanna interrupted the silence.
Alex and Connor looked up from their breakfast to stare at Johanna.
“I got groceries yesterday,” Alex explained, her eyes darting between Johanna and Connor with confusion.
“Not that kind of shopping. Clothes shopping. You need a wedding dress, and you’re already squeezing into your jeans.”
Alex flushed. “I can manage,” she said, spinning a piece of pancake in the syrup on her plate.
Connor nodded. “Gram’s right. I’m sorry, Alex, I should have seen to it before now. But things have been…”
“Busy. It’s fine.”
He looked at her, dressed in the same jeans and T-shirt he was growing used to seeing. She’d asked for nothing, nothing at all. She had to have some new things. That was all there was to it. When he’d made this proposition, looking after her welfare had become his duty, and he simply should have seen before now how threadbare her wardrobe was.
He looked outside at the rain falling. One of the reasons he’d decided to meet with John, Cal and Rick was that the rainy day meant no haying. He’d called them early, asking them to meet. They were ranchers, like him, who had everything to lose. And they hadn’t hesitated when he’d suggested getting together.
“Why don’t we go this afternoon? I can drop you off on my way, pick you up on the way back.”
Alex put down her fork. “I don’t want to inconvenience you, Connor.”
“It’s no inconvenience. In fact, I insist.” He forced a grin. “Come on, I didn’t think you’d fight me on a shopping trip!”
Johanna interjected. “A bride needs a suitable dress, and maternity clothes will soon be a must. We’re going to need a whole day, dear.”
Connor met his grandmother’s gaze, relieved. He’d been thinking that Alex had no wedding dress. She had no more than what she’d brought in that single bag. Yet he hadn’t known how to go about saying it without hurting Alex’s feelings. Coming from Johanna, it seemed less critical than he’d imagined.
“We can go this morning.”
“Really, you two, this isn’t necessary…” Alex interjected, pushing her plate away.
“Nonsense. Connor, there’s no reason why you can’t join us for the morning, have lunch, and drop us off after at the formal wear store to shop for dresses.” She winked at him. “We will spare you the wedding dress shopping.”
A morning shopping wasn’t normally what he’d call fun, but when he looked at Alex he saw reluctance mingled with a tiny bit of anticipation. When was the last time someone had treated her to a shopping spree? When was the last time he’d taken a day off?
“I’m game if you are, Alex.”
Alex had never had anyone treat her to a day of shopping, and the sheer novelty of it was exciting. Yet she hesitated to agree. She didn’t have any money of her own, and felt like enough of a freeloader already, without Connor and Johanna paying for an entirely new wardrobe.
“I’m sure Connor would like to see you in something other than jeans and T-shirts,” Johanna went on, aiming a pointed glare in Connor’s direction.
Alex met Connor’s eyes. There was nothing in the warm depths that criticized her appearance. In fact they crinkled at the corners a bit, giving her a strange sense of reassurance. She couldn’t read what he was thinking, but his face was relaxed and amiable as he responded, “You deserve it.”
She certainly didn’t feel like she deserved it, and she was so used to looking after herself that she wasn’t comfortable with someone else footing the bill. She certainly didn’t want Connor to feel as if she were taking advantage of his generosity, or his grandmother’s either, for that matter.
“It’s settled, then.” Johanna resumed eating, bringing Alex’s misgivings to a screeching halt. “We can take my car, Connor. It’ll be much easier than the truck.”
Alex got the sneaky feeling she was being railroaded, but knew it would be fruitless to argue. Besides, if she didn’t get some new clothes soon she’d be running around with her pants unbuttoned. Practicality warred with guilt, and practicality won.
“I’ll get ready,” she answered faintly, still not convinced it was a good idea.
* * *
THE FIRST PLACE they hit was a shopping mall, arriving just as the stores were pushing back their metal and glass doors.
“You need maternity clothes,” Johanna insisted, and led a reluctant Alex inside by the hand. The first customers of the day, they got the saleslady’s undivided attention.
“Only the basics,” Alex insisted, looking at Connor. He hung back, and she wondered why in the world he’d agreed to come along. Surely he didn’t consider this “fun”? As Johanna fluttered around, she wondered what exactly Connor did think constituted fun. She didn’t even know that much about him, yet here she was planning their wedding and shopping for clothes. Clothes he was going to pay for.
She didn’t want to be accused of taking more than she needed. She looked around at the racks of clothing, amazed at how stylish and cute they were. She picked up a black crepe top, with ties to the back and tiny pink flowers dotted over it. In a very few short months her tummy would be rounded and full. She touched the warm area where right now her baby lay. Motherhood. Somehow, shopping for maternity wear drove home the fact that she was going to be a mother more than anything else had—even the crazy deal with Connor. Someday in the near future she was going to have a tiny bundle to love, to nurture, to care for.
“Are you OK?” Connor touched Alex’s shoulder.
Alex half turned, letting out a breathless laugh.