She found a glass casserole and emptied a bag of frozen corn into it, put it in the microwave and let her rip just as Connor was coming in the door.
“Hey,” he called from the front door. “How was your afternoon?”
I’d rather have been chased by the hounds of hell, she thought grumpily, but pasted on a smile and said, “Fine.”
He came into the kitchen and sniffed. “Do I smell caramel pudding?”
She smiled for real, the curve of her lips fading as she saw how weary and defeated he looked. “I found your mom’s old recipes.”
He came over to the stove, lifted the lid on the potatoes bubbling away. “It’s good to come in and not have to worry about supper. Thank you, Alex.”
Don’t thank me yet, she thought, none too sure of success. The pudding seemed oddly flat, and she hadn’t checked the steak yet. At least the potatoes seemed to be holding their own.
“Your afternoon didn’t go well?” she surmised quietly.
When he sank into a chair and ran his hand through his hair, she knew she’d guessed right.
“We lost one. The other’s touch and go.”
“I’m sorry,” she offered, her stomach suddenly churning with nervousness. He was expecting a great home-cooked meal after a rotten afternoon. He couldn’t know she’d never made anything that wasn’t out of a can or ready with one touch of a microwave button. She took the roaster out of the oven, and as the corn finished she drained the potatoes.
“Don’t be sorry. It happens. But you know, no matter how much you think you get used to it, you never do.”
She filled his plate with potatoes and a generous scoop of corn, then a large slice of steak from the roaster. The gravy was thinner than she’d expected, and seemed suspiciously lumpy, but she hoped for the best and ladled it over the top of his potatoes.
She fixed her own plate and sat down across from him. “I hope the other one makes it,” she offered as he picked up his fork. Only to pause with it still stuck between his lips.
“Is something wrong?”
Connor looked up at her hopeful eyes and made himself swallow. The corn was still cold in the middle. “No, no,” he reassured her, cutting into the steak. She looked so vulnerable, so eager to please, that he didn’t have the heart to tell her.
The meat was cooked and tender, but the gravy…something was off. It was too pale and runny. He bravely took a scoop of potatoes and gravy and found a ball of flour rolling on his tongue. He smiled up at her, but he could tell she knew by the crestfallen way her lips turned down and her cheeks fell.
“It’s horrible. Disgusting. You can’t eat this.”
“Sure I can. It’s definitely edible.”
Alex tried a bite with the gravy and made a face. “Eeeew. What did I do wrong?” She took a mouthful of corn and hurriedly spit it into her napkin. “And the corn is still frozen! Oh, I can’t do anything right!” she cried. “You put in a horrible afternoon and then come in to this!”
“You can do things right,” Connor said gently. He got up from his chair and took her plate. He put it in the microwave and heated it up more. “It’s not your fault that I had a tough day. And you worked hard to try to make me a nice dinner. That was a sweet thing to do, Alex.”
“Don’t patronize me. I don’t want to be sweet. I want to be helpful!” she burst out in frustration. “I’ve been on my own for five years and I’ve been outdone by a bag of frozen vegetables!”
He gave her back her plate, then heated his own. “The corn just needed more time.”
“But I followed the directions on the bag!” She stared morosely at the offending kernels, now piping hot. Cooking was the only thing he’d asked of her, and the meal was a disaster. It wasn’t a good way to start a trial period for marriage.
Connor couldn’t help but laugh. “It takes a bit longer when you cook a whole bag at a time.” The casserole was filled with enough of the vegetable for at least three more meals.
“And the gravy is revolting. But I followed the directions to the letter!”
“Where’s the gravy browning?”
“Browning?”
He had to turn his face away to hide a smile. That was why it was pale. She hadn’t used any browning. If he knew Mom’s recipe, it probably said to thicken the juices with flour and water. And the lumps…If she didn’t know how to make gravy, she wouldn’t know how to make it without clumps of flour in it either.
“Connor?”
“I’ll show you how to make gravy. It takes practice.”
Alex pushed her plate away. Other than the corn, the tasteless, flour-pitted gravy had ruined everything. How on earth could she carry her own weight when he had to teach her how to cook? Never had she felt so defeated.
She scooped the odd-looking pudding into two bowls. “Do you put ice cream on it?”
“I’m out, but milk’s just as good. Sit down. I’ll get it.”
He poured a little milk on the pudding and served it. He took a bite, sucked in his cheeks, and pushed the bowl away.
“I’m sorry, Alex.”
Tears sprang into her eyes. She had never felt such a complete failure. Well, if this wasn’t a whole new discovery. Alex, who always seemed to manage, to find a way, was completely hopeless in the kitchen. The one thing she could contribute in this whole arrangement and she was a culinary idiot.
“What did you use to make it rise?”
“Arsenic.” At his horrified expression, she shook her head. “Baking powder, like the recipe said,” she insisted.
He went to the cupboard and took out a small orange box. “You mean this?”
“Yes.”
He started laughing. “This is baking soda, not powder.”
“There’s a difference?”
“Oh, yes. If you taste your dessert it’ll be sharp, and a bit bitter.”
She did, made a face, and struggled to swallow the solitary bite.
“I’m a complete failure. And of no use to you, obviously. I’m sorry, Connor, for wasting your time and mine.” She pushed out her chair, haughty as a queen, and made for the stairs.
“Hey,” he interrupted, lunging after her and grabbing her arm. “One disastrous meal does not a deal-breaker make.”
“Why not? You sure can’t eat my cooking for the next six months. You’ll starve, if I don’t kill you with food poisoning first.”
“Have you ever cooked before?”
“No.”
“Then why on earth did you think you’d suddenly be perfect at it?”
“I didn’t think it would be so hard,” she murmured, leaning against the banister of the stairs. Tears threatened again. “Oh, these stupid hormones!” she said, frustration finally bubbling over. “I hate crying! I never cry!”
Thankfully he ignored the tears and remained pragmatic about the whole issue. “I know how to cook because my mom taught both my brother and me. I’m no great chef by any means, but I can show you the basics.”
Alex took several breaths in and out, calming herself. She was the only one throwing a fit here. Connor was being particularly good-humored about the whole thing. Because of it, she decided to give him a little