‘Yes. Yes, I am. Tired.’ His eyes roamed over the buffet, then back to the table. ‘I will have coffee, thank you. Nothing more.’
She lifted the silver pot and poured, adding a dash of milk and no sugar, just as he liked it. ‘Would you like some toast?’
‘No. Thank you.’ Gareth took the cup and sat opposite her. ‘There is no call for you to wait upon me.’
It was not said with a smile. Jessica felt the sick knot of embarrassment tighten in her stomach and knew she was colouring up. She had presumed upon her position, one of the unforgivable sins for a governess. She was treating this breakfast table as though she was truly mistress of the household and not an amateur actress incompetently learning to play a part. And she had summoned Gareth to come to breakfast without a second thought. There were doubtless all kinds of ways in which she had offended and now Gareth—Lord Standon—was displeased.
‘I beg your pardon, my lord.’ She folded her hands in her lap, dropped her eyes to her plate and wondered how soon she might slip from the room.
‘What the devil?’ He grounded his cup with enough force to crack porcelain. Jessica winced. Causing him to shatter Bel’s Spode morning service would simply be the last straw. ‘What are you apologising for? I’m the one behaving like a bear with a sore head.’
‘I was presuming too much upon my position, my lord. I should not have asked you—’
‘Your position? Your position is the mistress of this house and as a lady—and the only one in residence—I would hope you would feel free to take charge of any meal in it and order the servants as you see fit. And what is this my lord nonsense?’
‘I thought you were offended by my presumption. And asking you to call was indiscreet.’ He smiled and the knot unravelled itself and she unclasped her hands. It was all right. And in any case, she had to get used to being liberated from the restricted position she had disciplined herself to accept in the past. She had a personality, opinions—and she could give herself permission to exercise both
‘It was a touch unconventional, perhaps, but I came in through the mews and the back garden.’
‘You are not usually so…tense,’ she ventured. ‘Or at least, not in my short acquaintance with you.’
‘I am usually too lazy to be tense, is that what you mean?’ His smile was wry. ‘Indolent, perhaps? Normally I see little merit in losing one’s temper or becoming fraught over problems. A little thought, a little calm planning and most things resolve themselves. At the risk of labouring the point, Jessica, I am angry with myself because I have miscalculated over something, not with you.’
‘And that cost you a night’s sleep?’ she asked sympathetically, nudging the plate of toast and the butter in his direction and controlling the quirk of her lips as he reached out and took them. She risked pushing the ham across as well, then topped up both their coffee cups.
‘It did. That and a…friend of mine who has a mind of his own and appears set upon directing mine along quite the wrong paths.’ Gareth cut into the ham and bit into his toast with a fierceness that made her glad she was not the object of his displeasure.
‘A close friend?’
‘Very. A lifelong one, you might say. We are attached.’ He shifted in his chair and silence fell. Jessica tactfully busied herself with buttering toast and mentally reviewing how she was going to tell him about Maude’s sudden fascination with the completely ineligible Mr Hurst.
‘Why are you still dressing like that?’ Gareth demanded, making her jump. ‘Have your new clothes not arrived?’
They had, a collection beyond her wildest dreams, gowns for every occasion. Bel and Eva might have assured her they were entirely appropriate for her apparent station in life and were not at all extravagant in comparison with others she would see, but to her they were simply luxury made manifest.
‘Yes. They are all in my room.’
‘Then why do you continue to dress like a governess? And your hair—you are doing your very best to turn a dashing crop into a prim nothing. You dress like a governess; no wonder you feel you should behave like one.’
‘I am one, and I am not ashamed of it. No, please listen.’ He closed his mouth again as she held up a hand. ‘The masquerade has not yet begun. When it does, you will meet Mrs Carleton, for the first time, in public. You cannot risk showing you are familiar with her—I must be as much of a shock to you as possible.’
She had thought it all through as she had twisted her elegant new ringlets into stiff braids, and she knew she was right. And she also knew that she wanted to flaunt herself for him alone in her new satins and laces and watch his face, see the hot, wicked darkness come in to his eyes again as it had when he had kissed her. And that was dangerous madness, even if all it meant was that she needed approval and reassurance.
‘Very well.’ He sipped his coffee, then added, ‘I will send round the jewellery.’
‘Oh, thank you. My scent is being made up; I enjoyed that very much, although I did not have much to do—Mr Todmorton simply inhaled the air about two inches above my wrist and pronounced!’
‘You mean to say you did not ransack his shop?’ His mood seemed improved now, perhaps he was simply one of those men who needed several cups of coffee in the morning. Jessica nudged the jam across and rang for more toast.
‘I did not. Maude did. Um…’
‘Um?’
‘While we were there, a gentleman came in.’
‘You were veiled?’
‘Oh, yes, there is no risk he could recognise me again. No, it is Maude. I am sure I should not tell you this, but I fear I have absolutely no influence with her and—’
‘Who is it?’ Gareth said with resignation. ‘I would not worry. She will flirt, but then she is not going to come to any harm with most of the men she will meet this Season.’
‘I doubt she will meet this one at Almack’s,’ Jessica worried. ‘His name is Hurst and he owns theatres, the Unicorn included.’
Gareth cast up his eyes. ‘Oh, Lord. She has always been fascinated by the theatre. Not that she can act for a groat. Whenever we are at house parties and someone suggests a theatrical entertainment, Maude has to be persuaded to be the prompter or look after the costumes.
‘All of us Ravenhurst cousins seem to have an ability as actors—purely amateur, with the exception of Sebastian, Eva’s husband, who was a government agent and had as many faces as Edmund Kean—and Maude says she is jealous of our skill. It is just the glamour of the theatre, that is all. It will wear off.’
‘I do not think it will be so easy. She was struck dumb just at the sight of him. I suppose he is probably the most handsome man I have ever seen.’ Gareth’s eyebrows rose. ‘If one finds icicles attractive.’
‘In that case she will get frostbite.’ Her worry must have shown for he smiled, the old, lazy smile that should have reassured her and instead made butterflies dash madly about in her chest. ‘Don’t tell me—we are going to be making up a party to whatever is showing at the Unicorn at the moment?’
‘I fear so.’
‘Well, Maude will have to concentrate all her dubious thespian abilities on extracting herself from our so-called engagement before she can focus on persuading Lord Pangbourne that he wants a theatrical manager for a son-in-law.’
‘True. I am refining too much upon it, no doubt. Gareth…’ She found herself suddenly, ridiculously shy. He sat, politely waiting for her to speak. ‘My final two lessons—sight and sound?