“Was that him, sweetheart?”
Her mother came out of her kitchen with tea and toasted peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches for both of them, bringing back memories of her childhood. Her mother was always serving them, bringing them something, making sure they were all okay. Even now that they were all adults. Amber couldn’t remember a time when she had seen her mother do something for herself. “Yes, Mama. It was. You’re all set up. You just have to pick your classes.”
“I’m so excited!” She set down the tray and hugged Amber. “I haven’t been in school in over thirty years. I hope I can keep up.”
“You will, Mama.” They sat down at the kitchen table and Amber studied her mother, a former activist turned stay-at-home mother of four. She was still beautiful well into her late fifties with shockingly white hair and pretty coffee-colored skin. “You’re one of the smartest women I know. I’m sure you’ll be the best student in there.”
“You’re such a good girl to do this for me, Amber. I had no idea you knew I wanted to draw again.”
“I saw you pick up a book about becoming an illustrator while we were in the bookstore. I always wondered why you had given up your dream.”
“It was a different time. When I had babies women stayed home. They raised their families. They spent their lives making sure their children’s happiness came first.”
“I feel guilty that you had to sacrifice your happiness for ours.”
“Why? I don’t regret a moment of it. All four of my children have made it through college. All of them are happy and healthy and doing well. As a mother I feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment, and tonight I feel especially proud that my daughter was thoughtful enough to make it possible for me to go back to school.”
“I didn’t do much. My friend...” She shook her head. “I guess he’s more of my boss... He’s the one who is making this happen.”
“You said friend first, Amber. Tell me about him.”
“Chase?” She thought for a moment, trying to figure out the right words to describe him. “He’s Mariah’s brother. You remember Mariah, don’t you?”
“Yes, she’s a lovely girl. Chase must be a very handsome boy.”
Amber nodded, but she didn’t think there was anything boyish about the man. “Chase is very good-looking but doesn’t seem to realize how handsome he is. He’s a little on the conservative side. He was in corporate finance for a long time before he and his siblings decided to open Lillian’s of Seattle.”
“What else about him?”
“He loves his family. He’s thoughtful. He’s intelligent. He makes me smile,” she said thinking about him. “I don’t know him that well. Those are just my impressions of him.”
“I might have believed that if you hadn’t added in that ‘makes you smile’ part. Your father made me smile. I would spend hours after I left him grinning ear to ear like a total ninny, but it felt good to smile like that. Being with him was just so easy. Is that what it’s like with Chase?”
It was easy to be with Chase. Easy to get caught up in his conversation. Easy to lose her head just looking at him. “He’s good man.”
“You should invite him over for dinner. Make him something special. I think your shrimp and cheesy grits is probably one of the best things I have ever tasted.”
“You want to have a little dinner party to thank him?”
“No, sweetheart. I think my presence there might interfere with your love connection.”
“Mama!”
“What? Your friend might be on the conservative side, but I’m not. How do you think you got here?” She touched Amber’s hand. “Listen. You haven’t dated anyone since Steven, who frankly made you cry more than he made you smile and who I never liked anyway.”
“You didn’t like him?” she asked, shocked. “You never told me.”
“No. I didn’t want to cause any tension between us. And I didn’t want to drive you any closer to him. The man was a self-centered, pompous ass. His pictures weren’t changing the world, and if he wanted to make a statement he could have helped out his community. He could have volunteered at the food pantry. He could have shot a couple of weddings to help out when finances were tight, but all he did was complain and put you down about your dreams. I don’t think this Chase fellow is like that. Didn’t you mention something about him asking you to create a couple of pieces for him?”
“Yes, but I think he’s just being nice. Most people think my jewelry design is a cute little hobby.”
“But not him. If he thinks your old mom should go back to school, then I think he’ll be on board with whatever you choose to do.”
“You don’t even know him. Hell, I barely know him. Why are you fighting for a relationship that doesn’t even exist?”
“You could get to know him. You’ve shut down every man who is even mildly interested in you. What happened to my joyful baby girl who always led with her heart?”
“That baby girl got her heart stepped on by a man who told her it was her job to unconditionally support him because that’s what good women do for their men. I really believed that for a while. It took me a long time to realize he was stealing big parts of me.”
“When did you realize that?”
“Remember that piece I was working on for Janna’s wedding?”
“That lovely flowered hair comb with the blue stones? Your sister adores that piece. Her something new and something blue. She still wears it when she goes someplace special.”
“Yes. It’s an intricate piece that took me a long time. I thought Steven would understand why it was so important to me, but two days before the wedding he wanted me to drop what I was doing and go to his friend’s opening at an art gallery. When I told him I couldn’t, he got upset with me. He told me I could work on my little hobby whenever I wanted, but his friend only had one opening. I tried to explain how important it was to me, but he told me that the only things that should be important to me were the things that were important to him. And it was if he threw cold water on me and I woke up. I kicked him out then.”
“You should have smacked him.”
Amber smiled at her normally nonviolent mother’s aggressive statement. “I wanted to. Looking back on that time, I realize that he was jealous. My pieces had gotten picked up in five boutiques then and he hadn’t gotten a job in a month. He was bitter about having to teach a photography class at a local community college while I was making money doing what I loved. I was understanding at first, but it got to the point where his negativity was sucking the life out of me.”
“You’re too wonderful to be stuck with a man who doesn’t appreciate you.”
“I figured that out a little too late.”
“But you shouldn’t punish Chase for it.”
“He hasn’t asked me out. And I work for him and you know I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.”
“Fine. Don’t date him if you’re uncomfortable with it, but it has been nearly two years since Steven and I’m concerned that you’re afraid of risking your heart again.”
Amber didn’t say anything, but her mother was right. She was afraid of risking her heart again.
* * *
“I want to welcome you all here,” Mariah said, looking at Amber, Jackson and Chase once they were all gathered in Chase’s office the next afternoon.