“Bad choice of words. I’m sorry.”
“Your brother is a man of honor,” she said tartly.
He tensed. “And I’m not, is that what you’re saying? Oh, if only you knew the truth about my brother and his honor.”
“Your deeds speak so loudly that I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
“An Amish proverb for every occasion. I see your quick wit hasn’t changed. I do remember that about you.”
“And I have not forgotten the way you denied your own child. The way you called my sister a liar to her face. You shamed us all.”
* * *
Caleb had held only a faint hope that Rhonda Belier would have admitted the truth sometime during the past nine years. Clearly she hadn’t. He wasn’t the father of her child. They had dated, but they had never been intimate. He had no idea who the father might be.
That Wayne had fallen on the sword of family honor and married her came as a shock. Had his guilt driven him to it? Had Wayne owned up to his past sins, or was he still using Caleb as a handy scapegoat? From Leah’s reaction, Caleb figured he himself still bore all the blame. He struggled to suppress those unpleasant memories. Nothing hurt as much as knowing his family and friends had turned their collective backs on him. No one had believed his side of the story. Not his parents, not even his brother, and that hurt most of all.
Caleb had always been the wild one, the one in trouble, the one eager to rebel against the constraints of their closed community. He had badgered and baited his brother into going to a party where he knew there would be drinking that night. He’d thought Wayne deserved one night of fun before he settled down to marry. Caleb had owned a forbidden car. He’d goaded his brother into driving it. Hours later, when Caleb had learned that Wayne had crashed into Rhonda’s buggy, he had been sick with remorse.
Wayne had managed to make his way home, terrified, almost incoherent with fear and shame. He thought he had killed Rhonda. When Caleb realized that no one knew about the accident, he had quickly gone to the crash site. He’d discovered Rhonda was alive but injured and had summoned help for her. He’d allowed everyone to think he had been the one driving. He had stoically endured the shame heaped on him by his family and the community. He knew he deserved it even if he hadn’t been behind the wheel. He had done it to shield his big brother, the one who could do no wrong in their father’s eyes.
Months later, when Caleb begged Wayne to believe he hadn’t fathered Rhonda’s child, Wayne refused to accept Caleb’s word. It had been the final blow in their relationship.
Caleb shrugged off his resentment. He’d made a choice to come back. Now he had to face the consequences of that decision. Hopefully he wasn’t going to be here long. Leah’s brown eyes fairly snapped with anger. He could see she wanted to say a lot more. He figured the only reason she wasn’t reading him the riot act was because Joy was listening.
He remembered Leah as a skinny girl with wide brown eyes and a tendency to speak her mind. She’d been someone who found the world and everyone in it of interest. She’d seemed an odd pick for his self-righteous brother back then. He’d found it hard to imagine her in love with Wayne.
She certainly wasn’t a skinny kid anymore. Even under her long coat, he could tell she had filled out in all the right places. A black bonnet covered all but the front of her honey-blond hair. Like all Amish women, she wore it parted in the center and coiled into a bun at the back of her head. Amish women never cut their hair.
Her plump cheeks were pink with cold or perhaps her anger. He wasn’t sure which. Had she married? The Amish didn’t believe in jewelry of any kind, not even wedding bands, so he had no way of knowing. What did it matter anyway?
“I don’t know why your sister lied about me. I’m sure she thought she had a good reason.” A lie told for any reason only led to more lies and heartache. He had learned that bitter lesson well.
He turned his attention to his daughter. “Come on, Joy, we should get going. You didn’t put your coat or your shoes on. You’re going to freeze out here.” He reached to pick her up.
She jerked away and hid behind Leah’s skirt. “I don’t wanna go with you. I wanna go to Nana’s house. I don’t like you anymore.”
Leah’s eyes narrowed. A frown creased her brow. He shook his head. Trust Joy to make him look like a bad parent. Leah would have no trouble believing her.
Well, he was a poor excuse for a parent. If he’d learned anything in the weeks since Valerie’s vanishing act, it was that he had no idea how to be a father.
“We’ve had this talk, honey. You can’t go back to Dallas. Nana isn’t there anymore. She’s gone to heaven.” He tried to reason with Joy although he knew it wouldn’t do any good when she got in one of her moods.
“Go away. I want Mama to come get me.”
He threw up his hands. “So do I, but it looks like that’s not going to happen.”
He pressed his lips shut. It wasn’t Joy’s fault Valerie had dumped her like an unwanted dog. He understood how difficult all the changes must be for her, but what choice did they have? “It’s not far to your new grandma’s house. You want to meet her, don’t you?” he asked calmly. He tried again to catch hold of her.
“No!” She pulled away from him and looked up at Leah. “I wanna go home with you.”
He shoved his hands in his coat pockets. “Fine! Guess I get to eat the animal crackers that are in the truck. I’m going to bite the heads off all the elephants.”
Joy glared at him but didn’t rise to his bait. The mulish expression on her face did not bode well. He sighed. No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t make a connection with her. She hated him.
“Please, Joy. We need to get going. Say thank-you to Leah and come on.”
“No, no, no!” She dropped down on the sidewalk, screaming and kicking her legs.
Now his face flushed with embarrassment as people coming out of the store stopped to stare. He glanced at Leah. What was she thinking? Perhaps it was best that he didn’t know. He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
Her gaze softened slightly. “I’ve seen a temper tantrum or two in my time.”
“Any suggestions on how to deal with them?” He was willing to take any help he could get. He kept a close eye on Joy so she didn’t hurt herself.
“I’m sure as her father you know what’s best for her.”
He ran a hand over his hair. “I’ve been her father for a total of six weeks and three days. Believe me, I have no idea what’s best for her. Pick her up. Don’t pick her up. Let her cry it out, put her in time-out. Ignore her. Distract her. Reason with her. I’ve had all kinds of advice from the two nannies who both quit within a week, from the principal of an expensive private school that wouldn’t take her after the first day, and from her step-grandfather, who said to throw water in her face, it worked for him.”
“Did you?”
He glanced at Leah and saw her regarding him intently. She hadn’t scurried away and left him to deal with the situation alone. His respect for her jumped considerably. Joy continued to kick and scream.
“No. I almost threw water in his face, but I left before I did something I knew I would regret.”
“Very wise. Very Amish. Where’s your truck?”
“On the other side of the store.” He tipped his head in the general direction. He was ex-Amish, not Amish.
Leah bent down