Getting her to talk to him was all he’d wanted these last few months. Well, maybe not all he’d wanted. If the tour had never happened. If she’d never gone to New York City and met up with Hunter in the nightclub. If he’d never let jealousy get the better of him. If he’d been allowed to express his emotions growing up.
His list of ifs went on and on.
But for now, he was happy that they were communicating again. Even if what was being said had the potential to hurt.
Kyle nodded. “That sounds good to me.”
* * *
Ten minutes later, after they’d said their goodbyes, Kyle was negotiating the streets of Las Vegas, heading to the two-bedroom guesthouse on her brother’s property where Melody stayed whenever she visited Las Vegas.
Kyle kept his attention fixed on the road, his hands tense on the wheel as if something was eating at him. Every so often he flicked an unreadable glance her direction. It wasn’t like him to look so grim around her. The Kyle she’d grown up with had been quick to smile and tease. Even though he’d been her brother’s best friend, he’d treated her like she mattered to him. Mattered to him like a sister. She’d never imagined he’d ever see her as a woman he desired.
It had taken almost half a year after he’d told her how his feelings for her had changed for her to stop marveling that they were in a relationship. She kept thinking about his track record with women and expecting things to go south. She wished she’d been surprised when things became strained.
Maybe they never should’ve taken the step from friends to romantically involved. It made her heart ache to think this way, but their inability to connect and work out their problems these last few months demonstrated that they’d rushed into a relationship that neither one was ready for. Could it be that Kyle felt the same way? Was he grappling with the same doubts she had?
Melody searched his expression, unable to discern what was going on in his mind. She thought back to the party, and how she’d tried to assuage everyone’s curiosity and concern when she and Kyle left. At this point, aside from Dylan and Kyle, they all knew her secret. A feeling of dread slid down her spine. This wasn’t going to be easy.
About three months into the tour with Nate’s band Free Fall, Melody had begun to worry that the explosion of desire that had sustained her and Kyle through the beginning months of their relationship wasn’t a solid foundation to build a future on. They’d only been a couple for nine months when she’d left LA to open for the award-winning pop band. Weeks and weeks on the road, with only occasional long weekends back in LA, had created an unsettling disassociation between her and Kyle that text messages and Skype calls hadn’t been able to bridge.
Maybe if her track record with men had been more extensive she’d have had more confidence in her ability to keep Kyle’s interest from thousands of miles away. From an early age she’d thrown herself into music rather than boys. Sure, she’d dated, but until Kyle came along, the guys she attracted were mostly like Hunter and way too much like her father: selfish and neglectful.
And then there was the fact that before her, Kyle’s longest relationship had lasted four months. As a former pro baseball player, he had a pretty high profile lifestyle that women flocked to. Kyle was one hell of a catch and Melody recognized that every woman he met could be hotter and more famous than the last. So, she’d enjoyed their time together, never really expecting that it would last.
Before she’d realized it, they’d made it six months and he’d asked her to move in. Trent had been concerned when he’d learned about this escalation in their romance. He’d been Kyle’s best friend for fifteen years and recognized that his friend was in deeper than he’d ever been before. Despite her brother’s advice to slow down, Melody had taken the plunge and moved into Kyle’s Hollywood Hills home.
Kyle’s voice broke into her thoughts. “Why have you been avoiding me since the tour ended?”
“I’ve had a lot to think about,” she said.
“Like what?”
Before they’d started dating, Melody had only ever seen Kyle as funny, sexy and supportive. He never demonstrated fear or anxiety or displayed a hint of vulnerability. His father had done a number on his psyche when Kyle was a young child, demanding his son stay in control of his emotions at all times. So it came as no great surprise that Kyle’s first reaction to any little problem in their relationship was to shut down.
And yet, she’d been the one who’d taken a huge step back after his first big show of emotion. When he’d asked if she was cheating on him with Hunter, he’d been angry and hurt. His strong reaction to the paparazzi photo had caused her own emotions to flare.
Growing up the daughter of Siggy Caldwell hadn’t allowed her to develop an understanding of healthy relationships. Her father was a hard man to like, much less love. Misogynistic, arrogant and selfish, he’d alienated his wives and his children with his disrespect.
So many times her father had declared he loved her right before launching into criticism, invalidating the claim while impressing on her that she was unworthy of his—or anyone else’s—love.
While Kyle was nothing like her father, his accusation had awakened the same feelings of injustice she’d suffered as a little girl. As she’d done with her father, she’d shut Kyle out and walked away.
But that hadn’t stopped her from loving him.
When she didn’t answer him right away, Kyle spoke again. “Like what? Hunter?”
“No.” She gave her head a vehement shake and followed it up with a weary sigh.
“Are you back in love with him?”
“No!” She stared at him in frustration. “Would you please let that go. I want to be with you.”
His expression grew stonier. “You sure haven’t been acting that way these last few months.”
“It’s not the same between us as before I went on the tour,” she blurted out.
“I agree.”
“Maybe if we go back and figure out where we went wrong,” she said. “Or start over.”
Was that even possible given the secret she was keeping from him?
“And if we can’t?”
She didn’t answer and their conversation didn’t resume.
As Kyle drove into the gated community where Trent had his house, Melody wished she had some idea what he was thinking about. Her stomach was in knots. She pressed her sweaty palms against her coat and took deep, calming breaths, hoping to coax her confidence out of hiding.
Her nerves weren’t under control by the time Kyle pulled into Trent’s driveway and stopped the car. She had her door open and feet on the pavement before the silence could get any more awkward. He was seconds behind her as she keyed in the four-digit code that opened the side gate leading to the backyard.
A paving-stone walkway led to her front door. Melody fumbled with her keys until Kyle pulled the ring from her clumsy fingers and slid the correct one home. His body brushed hers, awakening her longing to be held in his arms, and she was a split second from throwing herself against his chest when he took a deliberate step away from her.
“After you.”
Melody bit back a miserable groan. “Thanks.”
Knowing it would be dark when she returned, Melody had left the lights burning in the living room. The heavy scent of roses hit her as soon as she entered. An enormous bouquet of fat red blooms occupied the center of her dining table. The arrangement had appeared at the studio the prior afternoon. She’d been thrilled as she’d read the accompanying card.
I’m thankful for you.
There’d been no signature and Melody hadn’t recognized the handwriting.