“It’s your decision, of course,” his father said, but he sounded annoyed.
His mother typically ignored the censure in her husband’s tone. “Yes, it is. I’ll, of course, leave the decision about Trenton to your discretion. If you want to send him away to Ruxley, then I have no objections, but I won’t hear of it for Michael. It may actually be better for him if we do send Trenton to boarding school.”
“I understand your feelings about Michael. I’ll tell Trenton in the morning.”
“Fine. And Royce, try to present this as an exciting opportunity and not punishment and exile.…”
Trent hadn’t waited to hear more. When his father called him to his study the next day, Trent hadn’t let on that he knew Ruxley was indeed punishment and exile, and not the honor they claimed. And he’d never let them know that he knew about his adoption, fearing that they would then reject him altogether and he would lose Mike from his life as well.
That overheard conversation had been a defining moment in Trent’s life. He’d understood at last why they treated him so differently from his brother. Cold as they were to Mike at times, they’d never sent him away. They’d been there to get him out of scrape after scrape. Of course, Michael had characterized their attention as so intense it was smothering. But at least it had been attention.
They certainly hadn’t smothered Trent. In fact, they hadn’t even bothered to come to his high school, college or graduate school graduations. The day he’d stood addressing his fellow students as Stanford’s valedictorian with no family in the audience, he’d silently vowed that he would never have children. He knew that people usually treat their own children the way they’ve been treated, and he feared he’d do just that.
Then he’d met Maggie. And had fallen head over heels in love with her. He’d loved her so much that he’d fooled himself into believing he’d be able to love a child of that love as much as he did her. But Maggie had been busy establishing her career, and so they’d decided to wait for their first child. For five years Maggie had looked forward to the day when she’d made enough of a name for herself as an interior designer that she could cut her hours and work from home, caring for their baby. The delay, however, had given Trent’s doubts long enough to creep in, and deep inside he’d become afraid again that he wouldn’t know how to love a child. To his shame, he’d been relieved when Maggie had been unable to conceive even with the help of fertility experts. Everything had been working out just fine.
Then she’d brought up the idea of adoption, and panic had overwhelmed him. He had known he’d fail an innocent child as his parents had failed him. He’d told her no—he didn’t believe in adoption. He would not adopt and raise someone else’s child. Though he hadn’t failed some unknown child, he had ultimately failed Maggie and himself. And all because he hadn’t been able to open his heart to her about the real reason for his stand: his shame of being so unlovable to both sets of his parents that no one had loved him as a child. No one had shown him how to love children.
And he’d stood just as firm about reconciliation. Better not to hurt each other again and again over needs and shortcomings neither could change. He’d gone against his every instinct and need by pushing Maggie away when she’d changed her mind about trying again to make their marriage work.
But now there was this—this unbearable tragedy. Mike and Sarah were really gone. He’d just come from viewing their bodies. And now, apparently, his parents wanted the children. Another tragedy in the making.
Trent looked up, his decision suddenly made. He saw Ed looking at him expectantly. “Stop the divorce,” he said. “We’ll put it back together. Maggie and the kids can move into that Victorian monstrosity Sarah talked Mike into, if that’s what you think would look best. But don’t expect me to—”
“Hold it right there, Trent,” Ed interrupted. “I’ll get right on halting the divorce action, but I shouldn’t hear about anything less than complete reconciliation. I need to have a clear conscience if we have to go head-to-head with your parents in court. And in that case, you’d better have a complete family unit to present to the judge. Your parents aren’t so advanced in years that a judge wouldn’t hand those kids over to them if he thought you and Maggie were providing an unhealthy home environment. Take my word for it, living in an armed camp would be construed as unhealthy.”
Trent pursed his lips and nodded, knowing Ed walked a fine line being both his counsel and friend. “I was only going to say not to expect me to be home every night. I’ll have to keep the apartment in the city. Late-night meetings and long drives home aren’t a good combination, especially if you add long workdays and icy streets in the winter.”
“You two can work out the details, but I’d advise you to think about cutting those long hours at least a little. And Maggie, what do you intend to do about your job? Have you thought about it at all?”
“I enjoy my work and the challenge it presents, but I think four children under the age of nine will be challenge enough for some time to come, don’t you?”
Trent couldn’t believe his ears. Maggie loved her job. Even when they’d been trying to have a child of their own, she’d never intended to give up her career completely. “But you worked so hard to get where you are,” he said, not understanding how she could have reached her apparent decision so quickly. “I can’t let you give all that up. You need to think this through. We’ll hire someone to help with the children. Mike and I had a nanny until I went away to school.”
“I’m not averse to hiring someone to help with housework and cooking, but not a nanny. You and your brother hadn’t lost your parents, and considering the ones you had, a nanny was probably the best thing to ever happen to you. These children have lost the most important people in their lives, and they’re going to need all the love and attention they can get for a good long time. I intend to be there to give it to them. It’s a done deal, Trent. I already resigned before I left the office yesterday.”
Trent stiffened. Why didn’t she seem upset by the sacrifice of a career that had taken over a decade to build? Because it isn’t a sacrifice! He’d lost his brother, but she had just been handed everything she’d always wanted on a silver platter. “A house in the country. Children. And me. This is just perfect for you, isn’t it?” he sneered. “A real win-win situation.”
“Trent!” Ed gasped.
Trent lost control of all he’d felt in the past twentyfour hours. Deaf to the outrage in his friend’s voice and blind to the horror written on Maggie’s lovely features, he let it all boil forth—the pain, the anguish, the confusion. “You were awfully sure of what my decision would be regarding Mike’s kids. Suppose I’d decided to take them myself and hire a nanny.”
Pale and shaken, Maggie squared her shoulders. “I wasn’t at all sure what you’d decide to do. I was only sure that I’d do what Sarah and Michael wanted me to do—which was be a mother to their children. Nothing and no one is going to stop me from fulfilling that promise. Not even you. And for the record, both Sarah and Michael were a very important part of my life. I grew up with Sarah as a sister. They were the only friends who stood by me these last months. I’ve lost, too, Trent. You aren’t the only one grieving.”
Ed stood, his anger obvious. “I think I’ll go keep Rachel company. Distract her. Work this out between you. I won’t be surprised if Royce and Albertine sail in here any minute now, so you probably don’t have a lot of time. Trent, you have to find a way to put the past aside and look toward the future. This kind of atmosphere will destroy those kids. And your parents aren’t stupid. They’ll spot any lingering animosity from a mile away and then figure out a way to prove it’s there to a judge. Talk this out…and fast.”
Trent suddenly felt as if the weight of the world were pressing down on his shoulders.