Her unexpected and unwished-for reluctance to give up the child she’d carried for nine months? The fact that his wife had told her in no uncertain terms that she was never to contact them again? The way his simplest touch sparked something elemental and forbidden? The certainty that she’d betray her moral code if he gave her the slightest inkling that he wanted her?
“You didn’t go back to Iowa like you said you were going to.”
She saw an unyielding wall of accusations in his steel-blue eyes. He was annoyed. Not glad to see her. So why had he come?
“St. Vincent’s asked me back for a second year.” Guilt poked at her, but Bella ignored it. She didn’t owe him anything more than the explanation she gave most everyone. The real reason she’d stayed in New York was because she felt connected to the child she’d carried. But the truth was too troubling and deeply personal to share. “They pay better than the public schools back home.” During their previous association, she’d let him believe she was preoccupied with money. It had kept him from questioning her motivations. “And I’ve really grown to love New York.”
“So your mother said.” He slid his hand into the pocket of his exquisitely tailored suit coat.
“You called my parents?”
“How else did you think I found you?” He regarded her impassively. “She and I had quite a chat. You didn’t tell them the truth about what brought you to New York, did you?”
Bella regarded him with exasperation. Should she have shared with her conservative-leaning parents that she’d lent out her womb to strangers for nine months so she could stop the bank from repossessing the farm that had been in her father’s family for four generations? Not likely. It was better that they believe she’d taken a high-paying job in New York City and been able to secure a personal loan because of that. Her mother had been very upset with her for going into debt for them, but Bella assured her it was something she felt strongly about doing for her family.
“I didn’t want them to worry.”
“In the last nine months, I’ve discovered that worrying is what parents do.”
When his attention shifted to the car behind him, she relaxed slightly, happy to have his focus off her. “I imagine you have.”
She had worries of her own. Was the child she’d given birth to happy? Did he get to see enough of his busy parents? Were they playing peekaboo with him? Reading him a bedtime story? She hated the ache in her heart. It exposed how badly she’d deceived herself.
“I assume my parents were curious about who you were and why you’d called looking for me. What did you tell them?”
“That I was someone you used to work for.”
Which, in a twisted way, wasn’t far from the truth. “Just that?” She couldn’t believe that her mother had given up her whereabouts to a stranger on the phone. Hadn’t she been the tiniest bit suspicious? Of course, Blake had a reassuring way about him. After all, after spending thirty minutes with him, Bella had agreed to act as the surrogate mother to his child. “Or did you have to tell them more?”
“I said you’d taken care of my son and I wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I’m doing just fine.”
His gaze slid over her as if to reassure himself she was indeed well. “You certainly look great.”
“Thanks.” While Blake’s once-over carried no sexual intent, it still sparked unwelcome heat to run through her veins. It would be humiliating if he ever discovered how her body reacted to his nearness. “How are you?”
“Busy.”
“As usual,” she quipped, wringing a disgruntled frown from him. Funny how they’d fallen back into familiar patterns. For a second it was as if three-quarters of a year hadn’t separated them. “Always the workaholic.”
He shook his head. “Not anymore. You’ll be happy to know that I’m home every night by five o’clock. My son is too important for me to neglect.”
He spoke firmly, determined to emphasize that his priorities were different from his father’s, a man Blake grew up barely knowing because he spent so much time at the office or out of town on business. In the days before Bella had gotten pregnant with Blake and Victoria’s baby, she’d been concerned about Blake’s long hours, but a serious conversation about his childhood had reassured her that his son would be a top priority in his life.
“I’m glad.”
“I know.” His granite features softened for the space of a heartbeat, reminding her how he’d looked the day the ultrasound announced he was going to have a son.
Joy caused her pulse to spike. The months apart from him hadn’t dimmed her reaction to his every mood. She remained enthralled by his powerful personality and susceptible to the dimples that dented his cheeks in those rare moments when he smiled.
“I knew you’d make a good father.” It was why she’d agreed to be the surrogate for his child.
“It’s a lot more work than I expected.” His eyes lost focus. “And a lot more rewarding.”
“How’s Andrew?” She’d been equal parts thrilled and dismayed that Blake and Victoria had used part of her surname to christen their son.
“We call him Drew,” Blake explained. “He’s smart. Curious. Happy.”
“He sounds delightful.” Her longing to snuggle him—which had dimmed to an ache these past few months—flared up again. Bella crossed her arms against the sudden pain in her chest.
“What are your plans for the summer?”
The abruptness of his question caught her off guard. “My roommate and I are helping her cousin with her catering business.” It was something she’d done regularly since moving in with Deidre, except for those months when pregnancy had made it too uncomfortable for Bella to spend hours on her feet. “Why?”
“I need a nanny for Drew this summer. The girl who’s been taking care of him fell and broke her leg in three places a week ago and I need someone who can fill in for the next two months until she’s recovered.”
“Surely there are agencies that can help you out.”
“I’m disinclined to look for someone that way. It took me thirty candidates before I found Talia. We are leaving for the Hamptons on Saturday. I’d like you to join us.”
Besieged by conflicting emotions, Bella offered a neutral response. “It’s nice that you thought of me.”
Only it wasn’t nice. It was unbearable. Walking away from the child who’d grown beneath her heart had shredded the tender organ. She’d cherished him when he’d been a flutter of movement in her belly. How was she supposed to take care of him for two months and not fall madly in love with his happy smile, his delighted giggle, his sweet scent?
She’d thought being a surrogate would be easy for her. In junior high she’d decided being a mom wasn’t for her. She didn’t want to be like her mother and have her life revolve around her kids. She’d grown up taking care of her brothers and sisters. She wanted to be free of that sort of responsibility. Being pregnant with Drew had challenged all she thought she believed.
Bella shied away from emotions as dangerous to her soul as splintered glass was to her bare feet. “But I really don’t think I can.”
He narrowed his eyes at her refusal. “I’ll pay you more than you’d make as a waitress.”
“That’s generous.”
Blake believed that she’d only acted as