Saturday
When I woke up the next morning the room was filled with a cool, grey light. I slipped quietly out of bed so as not to wake Jamie – who was finally sleeping peacefully after tossing and turning most of the night. Wrapping my dressing gown round me, I went to the window and peeked out. My bedroom was at the front of the house and the road outside was blanketed in a thick layer of snow. Our house sat high up on the hill overlooking the town, so normally I could see down into the glen and if I stuck my head out of the window – and the trees weren’t too lush – I could see the loch glinting below all the houses. Now though, I couldn’t see a thing. It was still snowing, much more gently than it had last night. The window was covered in spiders’ webs made of ice and though the trees opposite were bare, they were groaning under the weight of snow heaped on their branches. I couldn’t see down into town at all because it was kind of misty and just really snowy. I was thrilled and I hugged myself in excitement. When we’d planned our wedding for this time of year, we’d hoped for snow – Claddach was so beautiful in winter.
Thinking of the wedding made me remember everything that had happened yesterday. I wondered if Tansy was still here or if she and Parker had gone to find a hotel closer to Claddach than Edinburgh was (I allowed myself a brief smirk at Tansy’s grasp of Scottish geography, conveniently ignoring the fact that I had a very shaky knowledge of what was where in the States). I decided to go downstairs and find out.
As I got close to the kitchen though I heard laughter and Tansy’s American twang. Apparently she was still here.
She was sitting at the table, her long fingers wrapped around a mug of black coffee. Parker was sitting next to her, munching on a piece of toast, and Harry and Louise were sitting with them – both laughing uproariously at a joke I’d not heard.
‘Oh,’ I said, put out to see my cousin making friends with someone who was, to all intents and purposes, my rival.
‘Morning, Ez,’ Harry said. ‘Guess what? I was at Harvard the same time as Tansy – different departments of course, but we know some of the same people. Isn’t that amazing?’
I bristled.
‘Isn’t it?’ I said. I picked up the kettle and filled it up from the tap.
‘Your home is lovely,’ Tansy said. ‘I was just thanking Harry and Louise for making us so welcome.’
‘Did you sleep okay?’ said Louise to Tansy, but winking at me as she said it. ‘Not many people use that room.’
‘Great,’ said Tansy. ‘We were snug as bugs.’
‘I like bugs,’ said Parker. It was the first time I’d heard him speak.
‘Do you?’ said Lou. ‘What kind of bugs do you like?’
Parker grinned at her, showing perfect teeth and – I had to admit – dimples in each cheek that were pretty damn cute.
‘All of ‘em,’ he said. ‘Do you know bees are found on every continent except Antarctica?’
I blinked at him in surprise. I didn’t know much about small children but I was fairly sure they didn’t all talk like biology textbooks.
Tansy ruffled his hair.
‘We’re kind of science geeks back home,’ she said. ‘My mom and dad both teach at the university.’
‘University?’ I said faintly.
‘Harvard,’ Harry said helpfully.
‘Oh,’ I said, feeling slightly inadequate despite my law degree.
‘Parker’s very interested in the world around him,’ Tansy explained. There was a pause as Harry, Louise and I all gazed at Parker who was dropping bits of toast on the floor and watching as Bella the cat sniffed them.
‘So we’ll be out of your hair soon,’ Tansy said. ‘I’ve just been online and I managed to book us into a hotel in Inverness for tonight – that’s nearby, right? But if you’ve not got anything on today, and if it’s okay with you, I’d like Jamie to spend some time with Parker before we go.’
‘Jamie’s my dad,’ Parker told me, his little brow furrowed. ‘But he didn’t know he was my dad until yesterday.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘He didn’t.’ I gave Tansy a fierce look that she ignored.
‘I have another dad,’ Parker said.
‘You do?’
‘His name is Michael. He and Mommy do kissing like this.’
He screwed his face up and gave the back of his hand a smacker. Harry snorted with laughter. Tansy looked embarrassed.
‘Michael’s my partner,’ she said. ‘We’ve been together since Parker was two so he’s like a dad to him.’
‘Jamie’s his dad,’ I said, feeling defensive suddenly.
‘I know,’ Tansy said. ‘There’s space in Parker’s heart for both of them.’
I eyed her suspiciously. Was there space in her heart for both of them? Was that what she was telling me?
‘I’m sorry,’ Tansy said, changing the subject suddenly. ‘I really had no idea it was your wedding this week. We’d planned to stay for two weeks but I’m going to call the airline and change our flights. We’ll be out of your way as soon as possible.’
I looked at Parker who was busy explaining how bees make honey to a rapt Harry. He was so little and he’d been dragged across the Atlantic and halfway round Scotland already. It didn’t seem fair to send him home again without getting to know his dad properly. And it certainly wasn’t fair to Jamie, who’d barely have time to get his head round Parker’s existence before he went away again.
‘Don’t go,’ I said, surprising myself. ‘Stay a bit longer. Talk to Jamie. He wants to meet Parker properly. Stay for the wedding if you like.’
Tansy shook her head.
‘Esme that is so sweet but this is a big week for you guys.’ She paused. ‘We won’t go straightaway though. I guess we could stay until Monday –or Tuesday – if we can get on a flight.’
I was awe-struck at her decisiveness.
‘Okay then,’ I said. ‘It’s a deal. I’m going to tell Jamie what’s happening, and then I’ll get out of your way – I want to go and see my dress anyway. You’ve got a lot to talk about.’
Feeling like a proper grown-up for once, and smug that I was handling this whole thing so maturely, I went upstairs to find Jamie. He was getting dressed and I waited for him to pull a jumper over his T-shirt, before I went to him and hugged him.
‘Tansy’s downstairs,’ I said. ‘I’m going to walk into town and see if my dress has arrived – give you some space to talk.’
Jamie kissed me.
‘Thanks for being so brilliant about all this,’ he said. ‘My head’s all over the place, but knowing you’re on my side really helps.’
I rubbed his back under his thick jumper.
‘Of course,’ I said. ‘I’m not going to let a teeny-tiny thing like an ex-fiancée and a son you didn’t know existed come between us.’
Jamie chuckled gratefully.
‘Come on then,’ he said. ‘I suppose I should go and meet Parker.’
‘He’s