He pursed his lips and hung his shoulders. “No.”
She leaned back in her seat and stared at him.
He stared back. “I’d like to know something. How hard did you try to find Brett?”
Her lids lowered. “I wrote to him and he never answered back. I don’t know if he ever received my letter.”
“One letter was all he was worth to you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“We were stationed in a forward operating base in Delaram, the third battalion of the 4th Marines. I know I mentioned that.”
“All I heard you say was Afghanistan. I didn’t want to know the details. I didn’t remember anything else. It doesn’t really matter now. Clearly, it wasn’t Brett I slept with that night. It was you. But I didn’t know that because you lied about your identity.”
Justin shook his head. “I didn’t know we’d conceived a child.”
“Obviously,” she said. “I wasn’t planning on having a child, either, but I wouldn’t trade having Connor in my life for anything.” A surge of emotion brought tears to her eyes. “My son is everything to me.”
When she’d finally looked Brett’s family up and come to Silver Springs to do the right thing, Aunt Mattie had given her the news of Brett’s death. Brett had died in action, and Kat couldn’t help but think if she’d tried harder to find him, he wouldn’t have taken chances. Maybe he wouldn’t have died at all and maybe Mattie Applegate’s heart wouldn’t have been broken. Now Kat understood that wasn’t the case at all because if her letter had reached Brett, he would’ve put two and two together and shown it to his buddy. He would’ve known the baby she carried wasn’t his but Justin’s.
It was a sad set of circumstances and she’d lived with the guilt of not trying to find Brett sooner. But in the end, she had done the right thing. “I know there were some things I could have done differently. I...didn’t.” She shrugged a shoulder, not knowing what else to say. “I just didn’t.”
Justin peered deep into her eyes. “There are things I would’ve done differently, too, had I known. Tell me one thing. Do you believe that Connor is my son?”
She didn’t hesitate. She’d always known exactly when she conceived her little boy. “I know he is.”
For a moment tears welled in Justin’s eyes. The hard planes of his face softened and his shoulders fell with relief. As he took it all in, he began nodding and Kat saw his expression transform suddenly. Determination set his jaw. “It’s been a year and a half.”
“Yes. Almost.”
He blinked and then blew breath from his lungs.
Just then the waitress walked into the room and said, “I’ve got to start closing up, but you can finish your coffee. Don’t mind me.”
She glanced at the two cups that had gone untouched and then looked away.
Justin pulled a twenty out of his wallet and set it down on the table. Then he rose to his full six-foot-two height and reached for Kat’s hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Where?”
“Doesn’t matter. We need to finish this conversation.”
Reluctantly, she took his hand and let him lead her out of the café.
Three
His hand across her lower back, Justin guided Kat out of the café. Darkness and the chilly night air surrounded them and Kat shivered. “Get your coat,” Justin said.
“I didn’t bring one. Why, where are we going?”
“For a walk. Give me a second.” He marched to his truck, ducked inside the front cab and came up with a leather bomber jacket. It was worn, its soft leather cracking a bit and the lambswool lining thick enough to warm a body in a snowstorm. “This will do,” he said. “You gotta know these nights get cold.”
“I didn’t think I’d be spending a lot of time outside this late.”
“It’s not late and we’ve hardly gotten started.”
He wrapped the jacket around her shoulders and she fit her arms through the sleeves. The jacket was two sizes too big for her, the shoulder seams going partway down her arms and the hem nearly touching her knees. Watching her platinum curls bounce off the collar, he gripped the lapels and drew her closer. Her eyes, big and green and surprised, snapped up to his. She was unique, a throwback to a classic fifties movie starlet with that ice-blond hair, an innocent expression that proved deadly and a luscious mouth painted pink and rosy.
“Warm enough?”
She glanced at his mouth for a split second, a tempting little look that pulled his groin taut.
“Uh-huh.”
He hesitated to let her go.
Moments ticked by as they stared into each other’s eyes. His grip tightened on the fabric, his knuckles grazing her torso just an inch from the two full ripe breasts that had given him a sliver of heaven once. He hadn’t forgotten.
He heaved a big sigh and let go. Immediately, she tugged the jacket tight across her chest and crossed her arms.
Justin put a hand on her back again, guiding her down the street. “When I drove up, I saw a town square. There’s a gazebo we can use. Or we can just sit in my truck with the motor running and the heater on.”
She shook her head at that notion and he was glad of it. Kat warm and comfy in the cab of his truck wouldn’t serve either of them well. The last time they’d been alone together in close quarters they’d had a marathon of combustible sex. Justin still felt the pull of attraction to her, but the stakes were too high now for any wrong move.
They walked south with light from the streetlamps leading the way. A few people were out for a brisk stroll, and Justin and Kat both smiled cordially or nodded their heads in greeting while they pressed on. The gazebo was visible in the distance, marking the center of the town square. They walked past park benches and down a garden path until they reached it. Luckily, they had it all to themselves.
Justin led her to a wooden bench that was painted white and she sat down. Behind her, past the lattice, flood lamps lit the surrounding shrubs, giving off enough faint light so that they could see each other’s faces. Justin paced for a second, pulling in his scattered emotions.
“Tell me about Connor.”
Kat’s face beamed immediately and her voice took on a whimsical, loving tone. “He’s an amazing little boy. He was born healthy and strong. His Apgar rating was ten.”
“What’s an Apgar rating?”
“It’s a test they do at birth, named after the doctor who invented it. It measures things like heart rate and breathing and muscle tone. Ten is the highest score a baby can get.”
Justin nodded. Unfamiliar pride pierced his heart.
“When I brought him home from the hospital, he took to breast-feeding right away. He’s a good eater and a pretty sound sleeper. You have to know a few little Connor tricks to get him to take a nap and I’m learning just like he is, every day.”
“What kind of tricks?”
“Well, first I give him a bottle. And then I sing to him. If that doesn’t work, I show him a Sesame Street video clip on my phone. He’s crazy about some of the characters. And once he’s mellow, I hum to him, some of his favorite baby tunes. When I get him to sleep, sometimes I just watch him breathe and thank my blessings for him every minute of every—”
Kat stopped talking abruptly. “I’m...sorry.”