With a sharp snap, he opened the file in front of him and focused on Ryan’s scrawling signature at the bottom of the page.
Jake leaned back in his chair. Underneath the stubbornness, the pride, he’d sensed Ryan’s private pain. Only a close family member could hurt so deeply, scar so indelibly. Ryan refused to toe the line, said what he felt.
There’s a lot of me in him.
Jake couldn’t go back and change the past. God knows he would’ve tried years ago. He’d even admitted as much to Ryan. I can’t be angry at the woman who saved my life, who raised me as best she could. Who loved me. A lot of kids don’t even get that.
He’d hit an unexpected nerve with that, judging by the look on Ryan’s face. And when he’d offered up the signed statutory declaration, formalizing his verbal promise to keep Blackstone’s afloat, surprise had rendered Ryan speechless.
Jake sighed, suddenly tired of justifying something he himself couldn’t explain. Hell, there were a lot of things that would send his legal department into a spin if they only knew. For instance, last night he’d made a nice little profit on the NASDAQ, an event that would’ve normally brought him the usual adrenaline rush of satisfaction and pleasure. So how come it felt…less than a total rush?
He stood and stalked over to the small kitchenette in the corner of the office, tapping out his impatience as the coffee machine slowly dripped out the expensive Colombian blend.
Finally.
He grabbed the pot, pouring a cup that was one of many that day, forcing away his doubts with the first scalding sip.
You’re doing the right thing, keeping a professional distance from the Blackstones. Getting emotionally involved can only mean disaster.
He’d fix Blackstone’s, turn it around. That’s what he did. He needed to seal this deal, to finish it, so he could get back to his life. A life that suddenly gaped wide, filled with hours of solitary existence.
He frowned and made his way over to the window, staring down at the Sydney CBD. It had changed over the years. He’d been an angry teenager alone in a huge concrete metropolis— a dangerous, exhilarating place for a small-town kid with something to prove. Over the years, through many major developments— some he himself had engineered—Sydney had grown and thrived. It was physical proof of his enormous success. Proof he was no longer the rebellious, stupid kid from the bush.
He sighed. He’d worked hard and long for all he had, steadily erasing that deep dark place in his heart, in his memory. He’d been doing fine until a week ago.
He turned away from the view as he rolled his neck. He needed a distraction. Yet when he glanced back at the financials on the desk, the paper blurred before his eyes. He needed something…warmer.
In the past, sex had taken the edge off, had enabled him to refocus and re-energise. And suddenly, all he could think about was a smart mouth and a kissy-mole.
He shoved his cup across the desk and coffee sloshed over the rim. With a low growl of frustration, he rubbed at the spreading stain.
Damn Blackstone’s and its employees. He slouched into his chair and swivelled back to the window, searching for the familiar angles of AdVance Corp past the metallic curve of the Harbour Bridge, but when he found it, a stab of unfamiliar doubt hit him in the gut.
That’s stupid. Amateur. Irrational. He’d made billions. He regularly dealt with Middle-Eastern kings and oil barons, dined with the cream of society, both here and overseas.
You’re so far out of their league, you’re off the planet.
He squeezed his eyes shut, so tight that silver spots danced behind his lids. There was no way those old fears were going to psyche him out.
They’re Aussie royalty, and you’re just the bastard son of an alcoholic mother.
Jake clenched his teeth and shoved those insidious doubts back with a vicious curse. His stepfather had chipped away at his self-esteem for years, always there with a comment, a sneer, a put-down when Jake screwed up. “You’ll be in jail or dead by eighteen, boy,” was his favourite line. He’d finally stood up to the son of a bitch a week before he’d left, leaving the man with a black eye and a broken hand. Since then, he’d been on his own, determined not to depend on anyone.
And now, suddenly, he had these people relying on him to make the right decision. To save their family legacy. A family that had been stolen from him thirty-two years ago.
Bitterness tightened his chest, the acrid tension weaving up his back to finally settle on his shoulders like a heavy cloak. He remembered too many towns, too many faces, taunting, teasing. April’s sad expression, her face once so pretty and alive, suddenly weathered way beyond her fifty-four years. A woman filled with demons, her own personal and painful reasons for keeping a child from his rightful parents. He’d tried to escape his past, little knowing it wasn’t his to escape from in the first place, even after every million he made, every deal he brokered, which earned him the respect and security he’d been craving.
“Ready for the grand tour?”
Momentarily disorientated, he snapped his eyes up to Holly standing in the doorway with the ever-present notepad and pen. For a few seconds he allowed himself to drink in her neat little figure, the curve of her cheek, the way her eyes steadily met his perusal. And as he did so, the vibrating bitterness gradually seeped out, leaving him suddenly empty and icy cold.
With a nod of finality, he shut those thoughts down and rose.
An excruciating hour later, Jake’s normally tight control was in tatters. They’d gone through every floor in Blackstone’s and he’d spent precisely sixty-two minutes in Holly’s orbit, her gentle fragrance alternately arousing and frustrating him. Her soft, animated voice had tripped over his senses, aided traitorously by the memory of that kissy-mole when her mouth curved into a smile. When she walked, he’d ashamedly found his attention riveted to those curvy hips, swaying one tantalizing step ahead of him.
And her smell… He’d breathed in deeply, guiltily, more than once. Since when had a woman smelled so damn good?
The only time he’d not been thinking about touching her was when they’d passed Howard’s trophy wall. Photos of the man opening the Blackstone’s store. At some formal function. Shaking hands with the Prime Minister, the Queen, four U.S. past-presidents.
Jake had barely been able to contain a sneer. Howard had loved putting his stamp on everything he owned, flaunting his wealth and power. Like the way he’d displayed it on Ursula’s neck.
Disgust bubbled up and with a scowl he choked it back down. He was not like Howard, despite Kimberley’s assertion.
“Let’s move on.”
He jumped at Holly’s soft intrusion, only to have his body react on a more primitive level when his eyes focused on her curves once again. The grey pinstriped skirt moulded her hips, emphasising a defined waist and womanly hips. Her shirt was bright blue, making her eyes stand out, the elbow-length sleeves showing off long arms with a watch on one wrist, a simple gold bangle on the other.
Absently he’d wondered if she had on any makeup at all, given how fresh her face looked. How touchable it looked.
He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and nodded. He imagined Holly taking the news about his real identity with outward calm, a facade that covered up the fact she was a deep thinker. He’d noticed more than once the realities of her thoughts clearly mirrored in her expressive blue eyes.
No, not blue, more green. Like the complexity of shades in the deep ocean, where the—
His thoughts screeched to a halt. Since when had he obsessed about a woman’s eyes before?
Yet despite his control, an unwanted ache started in his groin. An ache that