“Let me just caution you, Rachel. When you bandy about the word divorce, it’s always going to be hanging out there. You can’t take it back, even if you and Matt decide to reconcile.”
A chance she would have to take. Matt might be too stubborn and had too much pride to agree to her terms for reconciliation. He didn’t believe he had a drinking problem, nixed counseling altogether and he couldn’t commit to having another child. “I realize this is extreme, but he hasn’t given me much choice.”
“I still can’t represent you,” Savannah said after a brief pause. “But I will agree to file the preliminary documents, as long as you are absolutely positive this is the right thing to do.”
Right, maybe not. Necessary, definitely. “I’m as sure as I can be. It’s do-or-die time for Matt.”
Savannah removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. “All right. As soon as I have the paperwork finished, I’ll call you in to sign the forms. I should have everything completed by this afternoon, and I’ll have them served to Matt on Friday.”
Only two days away. She hadn’t expected it to be so quick. “There’s no waiting period in terms of how long we’ve been separated?”
“There’s no statutory requirement in this state that requires you to be separated at all prior to filing for divorce. And since you have been apart for a few weeks, I’m going to assume you haven’t done the deed. And if you haven’t done the deed, then there’s no reason to believe you’ll be involving a child.”
Rachel couldn’t issue a denial, nor could she look at her friend.
“Rachel? Is there something you’re not telling me?”
She shrugged. “Matt and I did have a little post-separation sex, so I suppose it’s possible I could be pregnant, but not very likely.”
Savannah’s mouth momentarily dropped open. “When did this happen?”
She felt like an errant teenage girl who’d gotten caught parking with her boyfriend. “The night I asked him for the divorce.”
“And if you are pregnant, when do you plan to tell him?” When Rachel again failed to respond, Savannah added, “You would tell him, right?”
“I don’t know what I would do.” And she truly didn’t. “But I don’t see any reason to borrow trouble right now. There probably won’t be anything to tell.”
“I have something else I want to ask you.” Savannah tapped a pen on the desk in rapid succession before putting it down. “Do you remember that night we got together at Rudy’s, not long after I came back to town?”
How could she forget? That was the night she’d made the pregnancy announcement to her friends. “I remember it well.”
“You said something that’s been bugging me for almost a year. You said you decided to get pregnant, not we decided. I’ve wondered if you took matters into your own hands.”
That secret had been a burden she’d carried for months. One burden she’d like to ease among all the others. “I might have forgotten to take a pill or two.”
“Forgotten?”
“Okay, I intentionally forgot to take them. I thought that if I let nature take its course and I got pregnant, he’d get used to the idea. I even hoped he’d be happy about it.” And she had been so very, very wrong.
“But Matt still doesn’t know it wasn’t an accident?”
“What would be the point, Savannah? It’s done. I got pregnant and I lost my baby.” Logical or not, she’d worried that losing Caleb was some sort of karmic punishment for deceiving her baby’s father.
“But Matt knows you aren’t on the Pill this time,” Savannah said.
“Yes, he knows.” His reaction was still fresh on her mind. “And that’s part of the problem when it comes to our marriage. I want another baby, and he doesn’t. In fact, I’ll never know if he really wanted Caleb.”
“Of course he wanted him, Rachel. Matt’s a good man.”
A good man who had no desire to be a father. “None of that matters now. I have to focus on the future, with or without him.”
“And you’re prepared for a future without him?”
She might never be prepared for that, even if she was capable of making it on her own. “Let’s just take it one step at a time and file the papers. I’ll decide what I’m going to do after that.”
Yet her biggest concern involved Matt and his reaction when he learned what she had done. She would simply hope for the best—and expect the very worst.
* * *
“HEY, MATT, ARE YOU in here?”
The question echoed down the barn aisle at the same time he slid the needle into the mare’s neck. Startled more by the voice than the injection, she tossed her head and sidestepped to the left, nearly throwing Matt off balance. Only years of experience and well-honed skill saved him from going down and being trampled by a skittish horse. A pregnant skittish horse. Being put out of commission was the last thing he needed. Right now, his job happened to be the only thing keeping his mind off his problems.
He managed to calm the mare enough to withdraw the needle, keeping a firm grip on the halter with his free hand in case she decided to bolt again. Fortunately the hay bag gained her attention just as his friend showed up outside the stall.
“Got a minute?” Chase asked.
The question irritated Matt to no end. Then again, everything irritated him these days. He capped the needle, opened the stall door and set the syringe down on the supply cart until he could properly dispose of it. “A minute’s about all I have. I’ve got to get out to the Bailey farm and vaccinate some heifers.”
Chase peered into the stall at the mare. “Nice little bay. Who does she belong to?”
“Sam. She’s bred to his stud and due to foal in the next few weeks.”
“I thought Sam stopped breeding that old stud a few years ago.”
He really didn’t care to get into this right now. “This one’s going to be the last in the line, and Rachel’s birthday present. If my wife ever comes home. I’m not sure that’s going to happen.”
“You could be right about that.”
The comment threw Matt, considering his friend’s “fight for your wife” speech delivered only days ago. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. Did you come all the way out here to chastise me about that little scene me and Rachel made at the pond?”
Chase suddenly became preoccupied with the ground. “Actually, I’m here on official business.”
That explained why his friend was dressed in his uniform, but it didn’t explain what that official business entailed. He’d bet the ranch that it involved his dad. “Let me guess. My father’s back in jail and you’re looking for someone to bail him out.”
“This isn’t about Ben.” Chase offered him a tan legal-size envelope. “Savannah asked me to give you this. Right now I’m supposed to say, ‘You’ve been served,’ but I’m going to make an exception and just say I’m sorry.”
Matt stared at the envelope a few seconds before taking it. Maybe some disgruntled animal owner had decided to sue him for no good reason, but he couldn’t think of one person in Placid who had ever threatened him with legal action. He could think of someone who had threatened him, but not over his practice. The possibility that this could be Rachel’s doing made him sweat.
He undid the clasp and opened the envelope to end