“No doubt you made him feel unwelcome.”
Why did she even bother?
“He’s such a wonderful man...I can’t imagine what you could have said to make him feel that way.”
Enough. She couldn’t take any more. Standing, she picked up her coffee cup. “I’m out. I can’t have this conversation right now.”
“Grow up, Lindsay. You can’t keep running away when things get tough.” Her mother’s voice tore a hole through her as she walked from the room and continued out onto the front deck.
She took a deep breath once the door closed behind her. A desperate need to run away, and confirm her mother’s opinion of her, made her stomach turn. Exhausted, she sat on the front step and set her coffee cup next to her. She’d barely eaten anything in two days and even the coffee was making her feel nauseous. Leaning her head against the railing, she closed her eyes.
Grow up.
How many times over the years had she heard that or something like it from her mother? Yet, when she tried to ‘grow up,’ it still didn’t seem to make her mother happy. Even her decision to go into nursing had provoked her mother’s criticism.
“You think you’re cut out for nursing?” she’d scoffed at the time, making it clear she didn’t.
In fact Lindsay had wanted to be a doctor, but her grades would never have gotten her into med school. She would never have been able to afford the tuition anyway.
“School has never been your strong point, Lindsay. Nathan’s the smart one.” Her mother had never hidden the fact that she had a favorite child. And after a while, Lindsay had given up trying to be like her brother.
She wasn’t Nathan.
“Aunt Lindsay...you okay?”
Lindsay’s eyes flew open at the feel of a tiny hand on her shoulder, her heart racing. “Jacob?”
“Were you asleep?” Jacob asked.
She sat straighter, moving over to make room for the little guy. “I must have been.” She glanced at the small plastic shovel in his hand. “What are you doing out here?” She glanced around for a sign of an adult or someone the boy might have been playing with, but the yard was empty, the last guest having checked out that morning at the request of Victoria and Luke.
“Looking for a place to plant Mom and Dad,” he said quietly.
Lindsay frowned. She had no idea what that meant. She wasn’t sure how much the boys understood about death and the fact their parents were gone, and she didn’t know where to start to explain it further. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“You know, like Elmer.”
Elmer? “Sweetie, who’s Elmer?”
“He was our guinea pig. When he died, we dug a hole and buried him right over there, and now he’s growing into that tree.” He pointed across the yard to a maple seedling standing about a foot high.
The family had planted a tree in honor of their pet. She vaguely remembered being invited to Elmer’s funeral last year, but she’d had to work.
“So, where do you think?” He stood and scanned the yard.
She pulled him to her and gave him a big hug. “Hey, do you remember Grandpa and Grandma Connelly and how they are buried in the cemetery?”
“Yeah, we visit them every Christmas and put flowers on the rock.”
The headstone. She smiled sadly. “Exactly. Well, I think your mom and dad would like to be there with them.”
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