“Ha. Good question. My answer would probably be something along the lines of, ‘I retreat into my head. You can’t go out there and let the emptiness get in your face.’” He loved the way she laughed, soft and low. “And of course there’s so much beauty. So much peace.”
“Speaking of which…” They’d arrived on the rocky ledge he remembered as the best spot for sunset watching. He wasn’t wrong. The sight was spectacular. Addie crossed her arms; her breasts rose and nestled against each other. She sighed in pleasure.
Derek swallowed. Lack of sleep, beer, this woman…
He was beginning to understand what had happened to Paul.
“I’m curious.” She turned to face him, eyes doe-wide and questioning. The gods were putting his resolve not to touch her to an excruciating test. He wasn’t sure he’d pass. “Did you always want to be at sea instead of settled in one place?”
“Yes. Did you always want to be in the same office and house every day?
“Not specifically, no. But it didn’t surprise me I ended up there.” She tipped her head, mouth spreading again, this time in a troubled smile that was both vulnerable and bewitching.
Derek should step back from her. Derek should stop thinking about her and start thinking about tragedies or trash heaps or tarantulas. Derek needed a good night’s sleep. Or twelve. “Why not?”
“I didn’t have a childhood dream like yours. I always did what was expected of me. My parents prepared me well for my future, and I felt I owed it to them to be successful.”
Ah, a good girl. She was really turning him on now. He wanted to teach her how to be naughty sometimes. “There are all kinds of success.”
“True.” She brushed a stray lock off her forehead. “I guess I’m pretty traditional. Not that exciting.”
Ha. He wasn’t touching that one. Instead he turned her and pointed out into the bay. “Look now.”
“Oh.” Her face brightened; it was all he could do to make himself watch the sunset he was here for. “Incredible.”
“Yes. Beautiful.” She could think he was talking about the glorious colors if she wanted. The sun was slipping through a vivid combination of orange and maroon at the horizon. Higher up the clouds had turned baby-girl pink. Seagulls flew overhead; cormorants skimmed the water, heading toward the navy-colored east. The moment was powerful, primal. Addie had him under a spell he barely understood.
He moved up close behind her until he could practically feel the warmth from her body. She tensed and went very still.
“Addie.” His voice came out low and husky. She made a small sound, but didn’t answer. He barely knew what he was going to say. “Did you…ever meet a guy and know you’d be kissing him very soon?”
She flinched, but didn’t move away. “Derek…I don’t even know you.”
“I’m just asking.” Like hell he was.
“Oh. Well. Yes. I mean…I guess so.” She cleared her throat. “Have you?”
“I’m not really into kissing guys.”
A nervous giggle exploded out of her. “I meant—”
“I know what you meant. Yes, I have.”
“Oh.” She sounded carefully neutral. “Why did you ask me that?”
“I wanted to know.”
Addie turned her head to the side, her features darkened by the light behind her. “What happened between you and Sarah?”
“She obviously told you.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
He was absurdly pleased. She was giving him a chance. But since she was already on Sarah’s side, he’d have to choose his words carefully. “Sarah and I…mixed signals one night. When things didn’t work out the way she expected she was angry and hurt. She’s a great person, I respect her and would go back and change that night if I could.”
Addie turned around to look up at him, stopping mere inches away. God help him. “She told me you came on to her.”
“No.” He held still while she examined his face, wanting to touch her so badly he was having trouble breathing, aware that he’d just called her close friend a liar.
“Did you ask me about kissing because you wanted to kiss me?”
“What do you think?”
He expected a giggle. A blush. A coy glance. Instead she looked distraught. “Derek, I’m…I’m here to be with someone.”
A solid kick to his stomach. “Yeah? Who’s that?”
She dropped her gaze. “Someone I’ve known a long time.”
He would have noticed if she’d been hanging around any guy in particular tonight. As far as he knew all the guests had arrived.
Except…him.
Aw, crap. “Kevin Ames.”
“How did you know?” She was blushing.
“He’s world famous.” He kept his voice light, not wanting to sound as disappointed and pissed off as he was. “I’ve met him.”
“Really?” Her voice got all eager, which made Derek even grouchier. “Where?”
“In Florida.” He was not going to comment further. If Kevin was the type she fell for, she wasn’t going to want a man like him.
He shouldn’t care. For God’s sake, he’d only met Addie tonight.
Maybe it was the booze, the loss of sleep, too much loneliness for too long, but there were plenty of attractive women here, many of whom he’d spoken to at dinner— hell there had been plenty of attractive women crawling all over his boat for the last eight years.
It was crazy, it made no sense, he was exhausted, out of his mind, he’d known Addie all of a few hours.
But he’d never wanted any of them the way he wanted her.
3
SARAH LAY ON a grassy patch at the edge of the island’s northern beach, where they’d had dinner that evening, listening to the waves lapping, gazing up at the night sky in search of shooting stars. She’d gone inside with everyone else hours ago when the party broke up, but after people headed off to bed she’d come back out here, knowing she wouldn’t sleep. Too many emotions, her head spun with them. She hated feeling half-crazy like this.
For whatever reason she’d been born feeling things more intensely than most people, which earned her all kinds of lovely labels: diva, drama queen, yeah, yeah, she knew. She did overreact, she did get more upset, more happy, more…just more. But short of drugging herself, there was nothing she could do about it. She was who she was, for better or worse.
Right now worse.
She swallowed awkwardly over the mild burn of thirst in the back of her throat. One beer too many and not enough water to balance out the alcohol. But it was so lovely lying here watching the sky, indulging her tortured thoughts, that she didn’t want to go back up to the house for a drink.
Derek Bates was the most gorgeous, sexiest, most intelligent, incredible man she’d ever met. And Sarah was nothing to him. She always fell for men who didn’t want her. Before Derek there’d been Ethan at Vassar, captain of the baseball team, a great friend. She’d lusted, but he never thought of her “that way”