“I’m sorry to wake you, but I couldn’t put my mind at ease until I accepted your offer.”
She heard some rustling, as though he was sitting up or readjusting his bedding. “You’re going to do it?”
“Yes.”
He exhaled audibly, then silence fell for several seconds.
Macy broke it. “How soon do I go in for my physical?” she asked, wondering what the next step was. Did they sign contracts? Did she visit his doctor or hers? Did she tell Haley what she was doing or wait until the baby made itself apparent?
“I’ll get you in tomorrow.”
So it would be his doctor. She should have known. Of course he’d want as much control over the process as possible.
“There’s only one thing,” she added.
“What’s that?”
“I want the money as soon as I’m pregnant. All of it. Haley needs the bone marrow transplant right away. If I miscarry or something, we’ll just have to do it again.”
“We’ll see what the doctor says,” he responded.
“Okay.” She felt suddenly awkward. She was going to have this man’s baby, yet she didn’t know what to say next. “I’m sorry about the…the lie at the restaurant,” she blurted. “I was afraid you’d turn me away. Something like that looks so bad, and I was scared for Haley—”
“I know.”
“Actually, I’m sorry I went home with that guy, too. I don’t remember what happened, but I’m not proud of it.” Macy silently cursed herself for volunteering more information than was necessary, but she couldn’t seem to stop the words. “I’ve never done anything like that before. Or since,” she added.
“Your husband had just left.”
“Yeah. I guess my ego was still smarting from the beating it took. I mean, I lost Richard to someone in a cheerleading uniform, for crying out loud.”
He chuckled. “If that’s all it took, he wasn’t worth keeping.”
Macy thought of that for a few seconds. Richard had some redeeming traits. He was generally optimistic and fun-loving, but it hadn’t taken her long to get over him. Their marriage had never been what she’d hoped it would be, mostly because living with a man like Richard was like trying to raise another kid. “Maybe I did something that made him turn to other women.”
“Don’t you mean girls? There’s no excuse for that.”
“She wasn’t his first.”
“Some men are like that. It’s not right, and it’s not the woman’s fault, either.”
Macy smiled. “The parents of the girl he ran away with were pretty upset. She used to baby-sit for us when she was younger. It was all horribly embarrassing.”
“I can imagine. Did they turn him in for statutory rape?”
“No. She was already a troubled teen. They made him promise to marry her as soon as our divorce was final. That’s all.”
“Did he?”
“Yeah. I had to track him down so he could be tested for Haley’s transplant and she answered the phone. They’re living in Colorado now, where her family is originally from, but I could hear her arguing with him in the background. I didn’t get the impression things were going well.”
“It’s no wonder.” Thad fell silent for a moment, then, “I take it Richard wasn’t a match for Haley’s transplant?”
“No, neither was anyone in his family.”
“That’s too bad.”
“It is, especially because of the way genetics works. A family member has a much greater chance of being a match.”
“Did it bother you to have to talk to him again?”
“No. Since Haley’s become so ill, that’s all I really care about.”
“I take it he pays no child support.”
“Not much. He sent almost a thousand dollars when I told him how much the transplant would cost, but he goes from job to job and can hardly support himself, let alone help us on a regular basis.”
Thad swore softly, and Macy found it strangely comforting. Talking to him on the phone so late at night made her feel like they were the only two people on earth. There was something intimate about it, something that encouraged the sharing of secrets, or at least the honest truth.
“Don’t you ever miss him?” he asked.
“Richard? No, not anymore. Every once in a while I wish for his support to bolster Haley and me through this, but then I realize that I’m deluding myself. He doesn’t do negative emotions well. If he were around, he’d be going to pieces, and I’d have to be the one supporting him. I spent the first few months after he left hating him because he could abandon his own child while she was so ill, but in retrospect I think he left because our marriage was already in trouble and he couldn’t bear to watch what was happening to Haley.”
“Such a sensitive guy.”
“Sensitive, maybe, just not very strong.”
“Sounds like you’re better off without him.”
“Yeah.” She yawned and sank into her pillows. “Well, I’d better go. I have class in the morning.”
“And a doctor’s appointment, if I can get you in.”
Macy sighed. “Right.”
“I’ll call them first thing and leave a message on your answering machine. Do you have a way to check it from school?”
“I do.”
“Great.”
“You want me to call you after I see the doctor?”
“There won’t be any need. I’ll be going with you.”
HONKING, Macy rolled down the window of her old blue Pinto and pulled to the curb, where Thad was standing outside the doctor’s office waiting for her. “I’m sorry I’m late,” she said when he leaned inside. “I’d forgotten that I had a test today at school.”
The scowl she’d seen from halfway down the street cleared to a degree, but he still looked tense. “No problem. I was just afraid you didn’t get my message. I checked us in. Hurry, they could call your name any minute.”
He directed her to the back lot, where she parked. Then he joined her as she came around the redbrick building. They walked stiffly side by side, taking care not to brush against each other or come too close. The enormity of what they were about to do nearly overwhelmed Macy again, as it had several times already that morning. They were strangers, about to create a baby! A human being! Another life! Yet they’d never so much as touched or smiled or laughed with each other.
What they were doing had to be wrong, didn’t it?
Macy watched Thad from the corner of her eye, wondering what he was feeling as he strode purposefully toward the front entrance. Dressed in a crisp shirt and expensive-looking tie, he’d obviously come straight from work, though he’d left his jacket in the car or back at the office. Narrow hips, accentuated by the tailored cut of his pants, extended into long legs and leather loafers with tassels. He’d rolled up his shirtsleeves, revealing sun-bronzed forearms covered with a sprinkle of dark hair. His hands were large and had too many nicks and scars to look as though they belonged to a pencil-pushing ad executive, but his nails were short and clean. Macy expected him to be wearing a Rolex watch or some other expensive brand, but he wore a simple sports watch.
“It’s on the second