And, well, with three kids under six, Shawn figured she was entitled to have a bit of momnesia every now and then.
Unfortunately, her faults had long stopped being endearing to Eddie. In fact, he’d only seemed amused by her antics when they were dating. Soon after they’d taken vows, it became apparent that he wished she was a little more on the ball.
But they’d been in love and they’d had three beautiful girls together. Then she’d lost the baby. Though the doctor had promised that there was no reason for the miscarriage, both she and Eddie had tried to find a cause.
She’d started blaming Eddie for not helping enough. And he, well, Eddie had mentioned the way she’d carried Elsie around nonstop. Even though he knew Elsie had pretty much clung like a koala from the moment she was born.
After that big fight, they’d both apologized. Eddie had been particularly remorseful, saying he’d had no right to ever say such things. That of course the miscarriage had been nobody’s fault.
But some things couldn’t be forgotten.
So after Elsie turned two, neither could take the arguing anymore. They’d separated. Six months later they’d divorced.
Funny how that divorce hadn’t made things between them any easier. One night four months ago they went a little too far back down memory lane. And now she was pregnant again.
“Mom, where’s the sunscreen?” Kit fumbled through the mesh beach bag, tossing toys out carelessly. As two bright red shovels landed at Elsie’s feet, she looked Shawn’s way again. “I can’t find it.”
“I know I packed it today. Let’s see what’s under these toys.”
“Daddy doesn’t like it when we empty toy bags and bins like that,” Mary said. “He said it makes a big mess that’s hard to clean up.”
“Then I guess it’s a good thing he’s not here, hmm?”
Though she’d already doused them in sunscreen, she dutifully helped them apply another layer. Then, after a warning to mind the surf, she watched her two oldest grab pails and shovels and run to the water.
And when she finally sat down, it was next to Elsie, who was now looking very grown-up in one of Mary’s old suits.
This was supposed to be a new year, a new beginning. The divorce was final, the girls were finally adjusting to seeing one parent at a time, and Elsie was out of diapers.
Funny how things weren’t going as planned. Now, instead of taking the changing table and crib over to Goodwill, she was going to have to pull it out of the attic again—this time by herself. No way was she going to get Eddie involved—at least not for a while. The difficulties a new pregnancy would bring were just too harmful.
Tugging on the hem of her tank top, Elsie claimed her attention again. “Momma, I’m thirsty.”
Shawn handed her a juice box, followed by the requisite Goldfish crackers. When her baby was happily sipping and munching, Shawn watched Kit and Mary do their favorite beach activity—building a giant sand castle.
Oh, they loved coming to the beach—thank goodness for Bill and Sharon Wagner. Just months after she and Eddie had separated, his parents had stopped over out of the blue.
After catching up for a few minutes, they’d given her a key to their condo. “Eddie may be breaking up with you, but we’re certainly not,” Sharon had said. “Promise us you’ll come to Bishop’s Gate with the girls at least once a month.”
Shawn had been thrilled, but reluctant to make things uncomfortable for Eddie. “You sure about that?”
Bill had placed the key in her hand and curved her fingers around it. “Very sure.”
The girls loved the weekends in the tiny beach community just thirty minutes outside Destin so much that Shawn agreed to the arrangement, even thought it meant that they saw Eddie a little bit more than she’d like. Eddie had bought a condo at Bishop’s Gate almost as soon as they separated.
When snack time was over, Shawn walked Elsie to the castle construction zone and dropped onto the damp sand next to the other girls.
They sat for a few minutes, Elsie content to watch her sisters, Shawn happy to sit in silence and watch the waves crash along the shore.
Looking up, Kit narrowed her eyes. “Momma, is that Daddy?”
Shawn’s head popped up. There was only one man who could fill out a T-shirt like that. Only one man who walked with such confidence. “I believe it is.”
“Who’s that he’s with?”
“I don’t know.” With effort, Shawn looked away from her former husband and concentrated on the woman by his side. All Shawn could see were long legs and long blond hair.
Kit frowned as she dug a moat. “Why’s he here now? Tomorrow is when we’re going to the aquarium.”
Keeping her voice calm and reassuring, Shawn said, “I don’t think he planned on seeing us.”
“Because he’s with that pretty lady?”
“Yep.” Forcing a smile, Shawn added, “I’m sure Daddy’s still taking you tomorrow and that you’ll have a great time.”
Mary packed wet sand in her pail. “Are you going to come?”
“Probably not. Daddy likes having the three of you to himself.”
“I don’t think so.” Mary widened her eyes. “He says when we’re all together, we’re like a pack of wild animals.”
“Y’all can be—but only sometimes.” Ruffling Mary’s wispy hair, she said, “Other times I think you’re just fine.”
“But you still love us?”
“Always. Daddy loves you, too.”
Standing up, Kit looked knowingly at Mary and Elsie. “Daddy loves us, he just doesn’t want to live with us no more.”
“Daddy doesn’t want to live with me,” she gently corrected. “Daddy and I are the ones with the problems. Not you three.”
Kit frowned. “That’s what you always say.”
“I say it because it’s the truth.”
As the girls pondered that and stared at their daddy—who seemed oblivious to them—Shawn did some pondering herself.
What had happened, anyway? First they were living the dream. Next it felt as if they were constantly fighting. He’d come home exhausted and only want to sit and watch TV, instead of helping to get dinner on the table.
His patience with her hadn’t been at an all-time high, either. He got frustrated when he came home to a messy house and crying kids. Even though he well knew she couldn’t be perfect if she’d tried.
For a little while she had tried real hard—but then she’d lost the baby and nothing seemed to matter.
However, in her heart, Shawn knew she still loved him. There was something about him that struck her fancy and held on tight.
And, oh, but he could kiss.
And he was certainly capable in a crisis. Four months ago, when they’d been spending the weekend at the beach and Mary had contracted a fever, she’d called him, asking if he could run to the store for Popsicles and another bottle of children’s Tylenol. He’d ended up staying until all three girls fell asleep.
They really should’ve known what was going to happen. One hug had morphed into one kiss—which had never been enough. Before her mind could put a stop to shenanigans, their clothes