“What is it that your dad has?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t being too nosy.
“He’s in the final stages of Alzheimer’s.”
“How old is he?”
“Fifty.”
Damn. “That’s really young for Alzheimer’s, isn’t it?”
She nodded. “It’s rare, but it happens. He started getting symptoms when he was forty-six, and the disease progressed much faster than it would in someone older. They tried every drug out there to slow the progression, but nothing seemed to work. It’s not likely he’ll live out the year.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged, eyes lowered, running her thumb around the rim of her glass. “The truth is, he died months ago, at least in all the ways that matter. He’s just a shell. A functioning body. I know he hates living this way.”
She looked so sad. He wanted to hug her, or rub her shoulder, or do something to comfort her, but it didn’t seem appropriate to be touching her. So his only choice was to comfort her with words and shared experiences. Because when it came to losing a parent, he knew just how deeply painful and traumatic it could be.
“When my parents got in the car accident, my dad died instantly. My mom survived the crash, but she was in a coma and brain-dead. My brother, Ash, was eighteen, and he had to make the decision to take her off life support.”
“What a horrible thing for him to have to go through. No one should have to make that decision. Not at any age.”
“I was too young to really grasp what was happening. I thought he did it because he was mad at her or didn’t love her. Only when I got older did I understand that there was no hope.”
“I signed a Do Not Resuscitate order for my dad. It was so hard, but I know it’s what he wants. Working in the NICU, I’ve seen parents have to make impossible choices. It was heartbreaking. You have to hold it together at work, be strong for the parents, but I can’t tell you how many times I went home and cried my eyes out. Parents of healthy kids just don’t realize how lucky they are.”
“I can understand how you would burn out in a job like that.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I really love nursing. I liked that I was helping people. But it can be emotionally draining.”
“Do you think you’ll miss it?”
She smiled. “With the twins to take care of, I doubt I’ll have time.”
He hoped she wouldn’t eventually burn out, the way she had with nursing. Maybe giving her so little time off had been a bad idea. He knew firsthand how tough it was caring for the twins nonstop. A few hours off on a Sunday and one weekend a month weren’t much time. Maybe he should have considered hiring two nannies, one for during the week, and one for the weekends. “You’re sure it’s not going to be too much?”
“Watching the twins?”
“By taking this job, you’re pretty much giving up your social life.”
“I gave that up when my dad got too sick to care for himself. He couldn’t be alone, so we had a caregiver while I worked, then I took over when I got home.”
“Every day? That sounds expensive.”
She nodded. “It was. We blew through his savings in just a few months. But I didn’t want him to have to go in a nursing home. I kept him with me as long as I could. But eventually it got to the point where I just couldn’t provide the best care for him.”
“When did you go out? Have fun?”
“I’ve always been more of a homebody.”
“What about dating?”
The sudden tuck between her brows said her love life was a touchy subject. And really it was none of his business. Or maybe she thought it was some sort of cheesy pickup line.
“You can tell me to mind my own business,” he said.
“It’s okay. Things are just a little complicated right now. I’m not in a good place emotionally to be getting into a relationship.” She glanced over at him. “That’s probably tough for someone like you to understand.”
“Someone so morally vacant?”
Her eyes widened. “No, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay,” he said with a laugh. “A few weeks ago, I probably wouldn’t have understood.”
Dating and being out with other people had been such an intrinsic part of who he was, he probably wouldn’t have been able to grasp the concept of leading a quiet, domesticated life. Since the crash that had taken his brother, his attitude and his perception about what was really important had been altered. Like tonight for instance. Why go out barhopping to meet a woman for what would ultimately be a meaningless and quite frankly unsatisfying encounter when the twins needed him at home?
“Priorities change,” he said.
She nodded. “Yes they do. You see things a certain way, then suddenly it’s not about what you want anymore.”
He wondered if she was talking about her dad. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“You really love them,” she said.
“The twins?” he found himself grinning. “Yeah, I do. What’s not to love? This was obviously not a part of my plans, but I want to do right by them. I owe Ash that much. He sacrificed a lot to raise me. He worked two jobs and put college off for years to be there for me, and believe me, I was a handful. Some people thought that because the twins aren’t Ash’s biological kids it somehow absolved me of all responsibility. Even their birth mother seemed to think so.”
“What do you mean?”
“Her lawyer contacted my lawyer. Apparently she saw on the news that Ash and Susan had died and she wanted the girls back. I can only assume that she thought I would be a failure as a dad.”
“And you didn’t consider it?”
“Not for a second. And even if I didn’t think I could handle taking care of the girls myself, why would I give them to someone who didn’t want them to begin with?”
That tuck was back between her brows. “Maybe she wanted them but just couldn’t keep them. Maybe she thought giving them up was the best thing for the twins.”
“And that changed in five months? She thinks she can give the girls more than I can? With me they’ll never want for a thing. They’ll have the best of everything. Clothes, education, you name it. Could she do that?”
“So you assume that because she isn’t rich she wouldn’t be a good parent?” she asked in a sharp tone.
For someone who didn’t even know the birth mother she was acting awfully defensive. “The truth is, I don’t know why she gave them up, but it doesn’t matter. My brother adopted the twins and loved them like his own flesh and blood. He wanted the girls raised by me, and I’m honoring his wishes.”
Her expression softened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. In my line of work, I’ve seen young mothers harshly misjudged. It’s a natural instinct to defend them.”
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