“From your own abuse.”
“What abuse?”
“Well…” Kim frowned. “I mean, I just…the girls and I assumed that since you were here, at Durango, you were, you know, a recovered victim….”
“No, I’m not,” Jane said, and then, something about the other woman’s expression drove her to continue, to talk about the period in her life that she’d kept private for more than five years. Until Saturday.
“I thought I was once,” she said. The admission was no easier the second time around and she wished she’d kept quiet two days before.
About so many things.
“I was married,” she explained anyway. “My ex-husband used to be on me all the time, telling me what a disappointment I was, that kind of thing. I always seemed to be screwing up around him.”
“Did you believe him?”
“Yes. Enough that I wanted to see a counselor. I wish now that I had.” Jane smiled, but without humor.
No humor in her at all these days. She’d had sex with Brad Manchester. She just couldn’t believe it. And couldn’t forgive herself, either.
She should have known better. She’d just screwed up a friendship that she really needed. But Kim didn’t need to hear about that.
“Instead I just tried harder to make it work,” Jane continued.
“You aren’t married now,” Kim said, her blue-eyed gaze serious. “What happened?”
“I caught James with another woman. I got out.”
“Well, I’m glad you did. And that you’re here,” Kim said.
“Me, too.” Jane smiled and reached for the hanger Kim had been switching from one hand to the other. “How about if I take that in for you?”
Kim gratefully released it. “Would you? Thanks. A double latte and a walk in the park before work just might be in order.”
Wishing the young woman well, Jane turned to put her key in the lock.
“Jane?”
Kim’s voice stopped her and she looked back.
“Yeah?”
“I owe you everything for saving my life. I’m worried about Shawn. Be careful. Okay?”
The tears that threatened prevented Jane from replying. She nodded instead.
“And for the record? I think that James guy should rot in hell for what he did to you.”
CHAPTER FOUR
HE SHOULD HAVE CALLED JANE. On Sunday, Brad had taken an impromptu forty-mile bike ride instead. If the bike path had been expanded to its proposed seventy-mile length, he’d probably have gone the distance.
He could do that on a bike, no problem.
Going the distance in his personal life was another issue.
Brad had been around enough to know that some people just didn’t have what it took to commit to a monogamous relationship. He wasn’t convinced he was one of them, but it wasn’t impossible.
He’d already broken one woman’s heart. He was not about to risk doing it again.
And he didn’t have sex with women except casually. For mutual recreational pleasure.
Now there was Jane.
It took Brad five minutes to drive from his home to the offices of Border, Manchester and Willow. Monday morning, while on that drive, Brad finally phoned his friend.
She didn’t pick up.
He didn’t blame her. They’d barely spoken on their hike down the hill on Saturday, other than to assure each other that what had happened would be forgotten. And he’d spent the two-hour trip back to town on the phone.
“Jane, hi, it’s Brad.” Great. He’d stopped identifying himself after a month of hanging out with her. “I was just calling to check on the time for Thursday’s flight. Call me.” He ad-libbed about as well as he’d greeted her.
He’d written down the time of her flight when he’d dropped her off Saturday evening. She was flying to Ohio to meet with Sheila Grant and he’d insisted on taking her to the airport.
He always took her to the airport. And picked her up, too.
Maybe by Thursday he would have forgotten Jane’s long, sexy legs wrapped around his waist—her body grabbing hold of him, welcoming him inside. Maybe.
If Thursday took a hundred years to get here.
JANE CALLED HIM BACK just as he was getting out of court. Brad’s first instinct was to let the call go to voice mail. Communicating through technology devices was probably just what the doctor would order were they to go see someone about the mess they’d gotten themselves into.
He seemed to be all about stupid choices this week. “Hi,” he said, sucking in the crisp spring air outside the courthouse.
“I was afraid you were avoiding me.”
“Of course not.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Lie to me. You’ve never lied to me. Don’t start now.”
There was a difference between lying and sparing someone’s feelings. Like if one of his dates wore a dress he hated and he complimented the color. Or the fabric. Or maybe, in an extreme case, the way it matched…something.
“Okay, I’ve been avoiding you.” This was Jane. They didn’t hide or pull punches.
They didn’t sleep together, either.
“Why?”
He’d reached his car, so he climbed in. He inserted the key in the ignition, but sat there without starting the engine “That answer’s obvious,” he said, somewhat dryly.
“No, it’s really not. Having sex was a mistake. We both said so, and agreed to forget it. It happened but now it’s over. It would be a tragedy if we let fifteen minutes of insanity ruin a great friendship.”
“So you’re really okay with it?”
“I’ve had a moment or two, but overall, yeah, I’m okay with it.”
“And with me?”
“I think so.”
“I didn’t mean it to happen, Jane. You have to know that. It was never my intention to have sex with you. At all.”
“I know.” He couldn’t tell if her chuckle was sincere, or if she was just strong enough to fake it for the sake of their friendship.
“I would never take advantage of you. I just—”
“Brad, it’s okay.” She cut him off, still sounding like the Jane he’d always known. “I was there, too, you know. I could’ve said no.”
Right. She could have. And she hadn’t. He’d been so consumed with his own guilt that he’d lost sight of that part.
Damn. So did that mean she’d wanted to have sex with him? That she still wanted him?
Beginning to sweat, Brad turned the key so he could start the air-conditioning.
“I can’t be best friends and have sex, too.” He just put it right out there.
“I know. Me, neither.”
“So where do we stand?” And why was he leaving it all up to her? What would he do if she said she wanted the sex more than the friendship?
“As