She nearly dropped the bottle again. If he thought her loving, why had he said no to the divorce but then signed the papers?
“Why are you helping me?” She turned to watch his expression as he answered her.
He looked away. “I let you down. And maybe I should have been able to save our daughter.”
Terrifying compassion swayed her toward him. “Don’t say that.”
“You don’t believe it’s true?”
“Not at all.” She couldn’t force her voice above a whisper. She’d felt the same guilt all this time.
“Then why did you leave?”
“Because you didn’t love me anymore, and I had to learn not to love you.” She brushed away her tears. “Why are you helping me now?”
“Because I owe you.”
Rage flashed up and down her nerve endings. He owed her? She set Maggie’s bottle on the counter and reached for him. He lifted one thick eyebrow, and his shoulder flexed beneath her palm. He felt real and warm and alive, and she wanted to shake him.
“You feel sorry for me, because you couldn’t love me after Keely—after she—” She couldn’t say it. Eighteen months later, and she still found it hard to say the words.
“I have to make up for the way I let you down so I can get on with my life.” His raspy tone, the warmth of his breath on her face, reminded her she’d been his wife. She’d been much closer to him than this.
“So if you help me now, you’ll make up for everything that happened before? I’m your penance?”
“If I’m doing what you need, why do you care about my motives? You only called me out of habit.”
“I hope you’re right.” She struck back, unable to stop herself. “I don’t want to need you again.”
He tilted his head away, as if her anger ricocheted off his face. She hadn’t known she could still hurt him. She hadn’t realized how badly she still wanted to make him pay because she’d hated living without him and Keely.
Most of all, most painful of all, she didn’t want to be a debt he owed.
The doorbell rang, and she spun away from Noah, accidentally elbowing the bottle off the counter. Powdered formula sprayed her floor, and she strode through it.
She pressed her hands to her chest, trying to slow her pounding heart. Behind her, sounds from the kitchen told her Noah was cleaning up. If she were as self-sufficient as she’d tried to be, she would have thrown him out of her house. He didn’t belong here.
The bell rang again, and Tessa hurried to open the door. A tall woman, who seemed much older than when Tessa had last seen her, spilled over the threshold.
“Where’s Maggie?” she demanded.
On her heels, her husband carried a single large suitcase. He hadn’t changed as much as his wife. Tessa hadn’t seen them since they’d last driven down to visit David and the baby.
“She’s asleep.” Tessa closed the door and turned to her guests. Her heart danced a vicious tango as Noah joined them from the kitchen.
“You remember my husband—” She passed her hand across her mouth and then tried again. “My ex-husband, I mean.”
CHAPTER FOUR
ELEANOR AND JOE LINGERED in the doorway, both staring over Tessa’s shoulder at Noah as if he shouldn’t be there. The older woman’s animosity startled Tessa, but then her mouth trembled, deepening the lines in her shocked face. Tessa felt for her. She’d been through too much, starting with Joanna’s accident.
“Mr. and Mrs. Worth.” Noah came so close his body heat surrounded Tessa. “Good to see you again.” He curved his hands around her waist and eased her aside to make room for the other couple. “Come in, out of the cold.”
Tessa glared over her shoulder, annoyed that Noah had touched her possessively to mark himself as the host in her home.
Eleanor managed a tight smile. “We didn’t expect to see you, Mr. Gabriel.” Faint welcome warmed her voice. “I mean, Detective Gabriel—I’m sorry—I just don’t know how to treat policemen since my daughter’s death last year. After Chief Weldon took office here, he came out to our house. He tried to make us believe she was under the influence of drugs that night she died.”
Tessa started. Did the Worths know? David had told her about Joanna’s depression soon after Maggie’s birth, when he’d begun to back away from their friendship. She’d only discovered Joanna’s drug use when she’d caught David flushing his wife’s stash after the accident. He’d sworn Tessa to secrecy, to protect his family. He would never have told Eleanor.
Noah took the older woman’s hand, unexpected compassion in his gaze. Surprised again, Tessa watched him comfort Joanna’s mother.
“Police are naturally suspicious. You have to make allowances,” he said. “I’m sorry about David. He was a good friend to my—to Tessa. She counted on him.”
Tessa felt her eyes widen. An expert at reading character, he’d failed at tending frayed relationships. Had he changed or was he merely offering the Worths appropriate responses?
She rubbed her temples, trying to avoid old resentments before they bubbled to the surface. After Keely’s death, Noah had maintained his phenomenal success rate at work. Murder had claimed the largest share of his attention, as if he couldn’t be both a good cop and a good family man. He’d steered clear of the pain and regret that had swallowed her as their marriage withered, but his empathy for Eleanor now obviously touched the older woman.
Tears welled in her eyes, and pink color stained her thin face. “We’ll miss David,” Eleanor said. “I don’t know what Maggie will think, after her mother and now this.”
With heartbreaking tenderness, Joe Worth stroked his wife’s back. “We’ll make sure Maggie remembers her mother and father, and she’ll still have us and Tessa.”
Noah looked suddenly uncomfortable. Tessa knew what he was thinking. He was only a temporary part of the picture.
“Noah’s on his way back to Boston.” She’d grabbed for her hard-fought sense of detachment. Easier to do with Noah out of the way.
He obliged by moving toward the door, and Eleanor and Joe sank against the wall to give him room. But Joe grabbed his sleeve.
“You’re satisfied the police here can handle the case?”
Noah opened his mouth, but he waited too long to be convincing. “Chief Weldon and his men are qualified.”
His bland tone reminded Tessa of what he’d called the first rule. The initial twenty-four hours after a homicide were key. Almost thirty had passed.
As if his uncertainty went over her head, Eleanor changed the subject. “When do you think Maggie will wake up? I won’t feel the world is a safe place again until I can hold her in my arms.”
Tessa stiffened. Surely David deserved a moment’s remembrance. But Eleanor had lost two members of her family. Naturally she needed to see Maggie. “She just went down for her nap—”
“I’m not leaving for good.” Noah interrupted, making them all look at him.
He pinned Tessa, his gaze dark and intense. “I’ll pick up my stuff at home and talk to Baxton about a leave of absence. Maybe you should give me a key so you don’t have to wait up for me tonight.”
Hand over a key to her home? “I’ll wait up.” Pigs would fly before she’d invite him to come and go at will.
Clenching his jaw, he flicked a quick look at the Worths and then grabbed his jacket off