“If you need to work more hours, it’s no trouble for me to watch Jason. And what about one of those charities that helps people with sick kids?”
Things might have been tight, but Paige had always managed. She knew there were many needy, deserving people who relied on the generosity of the more fortunate, but she didn’t feel comfortable with receiving charity. She thought of her ex-husband, and her resolve grew. It was pride speaking as she said, “Jason is my responsibility.”
“But there are organizations that help parents make sick kids’ Christmas wishes come true. That’s all I’m talking about.”
Paige relented a little. “Oh, yes, of course. But I’ve also heard they have long waiting lists. This close to Christmas, they probably have more families than they can handle.”
Mrs. Bennett patted Paige’s hand. “Leave it with me. Let me look into it for you.” Her voice softened. “Dear...?”
When Paige’s eyes met hers again, Mrs. Bennett continued. “Have you told your mother?”
Paige’s shoulders sagged. “Oh, good heavens, no.”
“Now, Paige. You have to tell her, especially if...” She left the sentence unfinished, but Paige understood. Her parents might have limited time to see Jason.
Paige rubbed her temples. “I don’t know. Mom already has so much to cope with. Dad’s not doing well. His Alzheimer’s is progressing. Mom has her hands full just dealing with day-to-day living.”
Mrs. Bennett nodded sadly. “But do you really think your mother would want you to keep this from her?”
“No.” Paige exhaled. “No, I don’t.” She had no siblings, so Jason was their only grandchild. She had to tell them.
All of a sudden, she felt impossibly weary but somewhat steadier. “Thank you for talking this through with me. It’s helped a lot. Now we both need to get some sleep.”
When Mrs. Bennett rose to clear the tea neither of them had drunk, Paige stopped her. “Please don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it.” When Mrs. Bennett hesitated, Paige added, “Tomorrow. I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”
Still, when Paige closed and locked the door behind her neighbor, she went about the task of clearing up. She was exhausted, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Even mindless tasks were a distraction, and preferable to lying in bed with sleep eluding her and worries crowding her mind.
* * *
OVER THE COURSE of a long, sleepless night, Paige decided that not only did she have to tell her mother, she needed to do it sooner rather than later. If she didn’t, her mother—understandably—would never forgive her. She had a right to know. The question was how she should go about it...
Paige tried to be as cheerful as possible as she made Jason breakfast and helped him get ready for school.
As they were saying good-bye on the steps of his school building, Jason looked up at her, his face solemn, and asked, “Are you okay, Mom?”
She was quick to assure him, “Of course, sweetheart.”
He studied her carefully, his eyes mature beyond his years, and she wondered if he could sense that she was lying to him for the first time in his life.
“Okay.” He scuffed the toe of his sneaker on the concrete step. “It’ll be like before, won’t it?”
Paige knew he was referring to his treatment. At least in this, she could be honest. “I’m not sure, but I think so.” She recognized every expression, every nuance of his face. “Your head hurts, doesn’t it, sweetie?”
He nodded. “Yeah, but it’s okay, Mom.”
“Oh, baby. Come here.” She opened her arms. He threw his small body against hers, and she hugged him fiercely.
They held on to each other for a while. Then Paige kissed Jason good-bye and watched him walk up the stairs, open the door and disappear inside the school. Only when he was completely out of sight did her legs buckle. She crumpled to the steps. Burying her face in her hands, she let the sobs burst forth.
* * *
PAIGE DIDN’T GO straight home. She couldn’t stand the thought of being in the empty apartment. As she was on the evening shift this week, she wasn’t due at work until seven. She walked along the town’s cobblestone streets. She sat on a bench in the square and watched the coal-black squirrels scurry over the light dusting of snow, foraging for food. Finally, she picked up some groceries and headed home.
After putting the groceries away, she called her parents in Great Barrington, where they’d retired years ago. “Mom, it’s me.”
“Paige. How are you?”
Paige evaded the question and hoped her mother wouldn’t notice. Before she broached the reason for her call, she wanted to see how her mother was holding up. “Is Dad having a good day?”
“He’s keeping me on my toes, as usual. Always up to something. He decided he wants to build a bird feeder.”
“But Mom—”
“I know what you’re thinking. Don’t worry. I’m not letting him anywhere near power tools. They’re long gone. I bought him a balsa-wood kit that he can assemble. The pieces are precut, and all he needs is children’s glue.” She chuckled. “You should see him. He’s having a grand time! That’s what counts.”
Paige smiled through her tears. Her mother was sixty-eight now, her father eleven years her senior. Her father was the only man her mother had ever loved. They’d enjoyed a good life, and a long and loving marriage. In two years, they would be celebrating their fiftieth anniversary. But knowing that her strong, intelligent, capable father had been reduced to relying almost entirely on her mother tore Paige apart. She had enormous respect for the way her mother was coping.
“Are you still there, Paige?”
“Yes, Mom.” Paige realized she couldn’t break the news to her mother over the phone. She’d somehow have to find the time—and the money—to take the train. “Mom, I wanted to let you know I’m coming for a visit. I want to see you and Dad.”
Her mother’s voice brightened. “That’s wonderful! When are you coming?”
Paige felt remorseful hearing her mother sound so happy. Her heart would break when she learned the reason for Paige’s impromptu visit. Why hadn’t she thought of visiting her parents with Jason weeks ago, when they could’ve had a happy reunion? Jason loved his grandparents dearly and was so sweet with his Gramps—so patient and kind. “I’m not sure, Mom. I’ll have to check my work schedule. I’ll call you back and let you know. But it’ll be soon.”
“That’s wonderful,” her mother repeated. “Your father will be very happy to see you.”
Paige doubted it, since the last couple of times she’d visited, he hadn’t remembered her at all.
“We look forward to seeing Jason, too.”
Paige paused. She considered taking Jason with her. Under the circumstances, it wasn’t a good idea. She anticipated the discussion with her mother would be a difficult one, and she didn’t want Jason to see either of them break down. “No, Mom. Jason won’t be coming with me.” Paige pulled the elastic from her ponytail and shook her hair loose. “Um...he can’t miss school right now,” she improvised. “And I’m scheduled to work some hours over the next couple of weekends.”
She felt relief when she heard someone at her door. It gave her an excuse to end the conversation. “I need to get the door, Mom. I’ll call you again soon.” They said their good-byes, and Paige went to open the door.
Chelsea