Mary Karen searched Travis’s face. The despair that suddenly filled his eyes told her what she didn’t want to know.
“Tell me we d-didn’t.” She couldn’t quite control the tremble in her voice. “Please, Trav. Tell me we didn’t.”
Instead of answering he reached over and lifted her left hand. The emerald-cut yellow diamond on her finger caught the morning light.
“I wish I could say this was one of my jokes.” His attempt at a chuckle fell flat.
Her heart thundered in her chest and the room began to spin. “This can’t be happening.”
“You and I were married last night, M.K,” he said, squeezing her fingers. “Now we have to figure out what we’re going to do about it.”
Four weeks to the day later, Mary Karen left her sons in front of the television with their favorite video playing and locked the door to her home’s only bathroom.
She caught sight of herself in the mirror as she placed the sack on the edge of the sink. The hard-won tan from Vegas had already faded and lines of stress edged her eyes. For the past week, she hadn’t been able to sleep, worried what this test might show.
For as long as she could remember she’d been right-on-the-dot regular. A person could set their clock by her menstrual cycle. But when the day she was waiting for came and went just like any other, she knew she was in trouble. Now it was time to know if what she suspected was true. Her hands shook as she completed the test.
Mary Karen could count on one hand the times she’d been truly afraid. The first was when she’d been a child and had wandered away from her parents in Yellowstone. The second had been when Steven had told her he wanted a divorce. The twins had just turned two and she’d been pregnant with Logan. And then there was … now.
The walls of the tiny room closed in around her. A bead of sweat trickled down her spine. Her heart pounded so hard she felt lightheaded. Mary Karen told herself to look at the stick but her eyes refused to cooperate.
Marrying Travis and celebrating with a night of passionate sex had been a crazy thing to do. She barely remembered how it had happened. One minute they’d been laughing and enjoying a drink by the pool—one drink—the next they’d been saying their vows in front of a judge who looked an awful lot like the King of Rock and Roll.
If Travis hadn’t been leaving Vegas for his annual medical mission trip, they’d have gotten started on an annulment while they were still in Nevada. Instead she’d had to wait for him to return to Jackson Hole. Now that he was back they could finally work on putting this mistake behind them. What had the attorney she’d contacted said? It would be like the whole thing had never taken place….
Mary Karen took a deep breath and lifted the stick to eye level.
Her heart stopped for several seconds then resumed beating. Louder and more frantically. She tried to tell herself it could be a false positive, but she knew better. She’d been pregnant twice before and the signs were all there. The nausea. The fatigue. The emotional roller coaster.
Tears filled her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. She pushed a bucket of bath tub toys out of the way and turned on the water full force. The last thing she wanted was for her boys to hear her crying and worry.
Dear God, she couldn’t have another baby, she just couldn’t.
Though it would be easy to make Travis the bad guy, even in her despair Mary Karen knew she had only herself to blame. Fertile Myrtle … that’s what her brother laughingly called her. Both of her previous pregnancies had occurred when she’d been on the pill. She should have insisted Travis go out and buy some condoms before she let him touch her.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
She beat her clenched hand against her aching chest and the river of tears turned into a torrent. Breathing grew difficult as a sob blocked her throat.
“Mommy.” A small fist pounded on the locked bathroom door. “I hafta go potty.”
“Mommy,” another childish voice called out. “Open the door. Logan has to go real bad.”
Mary Karen swallowed the sob and took a shuddering breath. Her hand fumbled for the box of tissue. She blew her nose and swiped at her eyes before shoving the pregnancy test supplies into the plastic grocery bag. Only after she’d tied the sack shut did she open the door.
“I’m sorry, honey.” She stepped aside as her youngest rushed past.
Even though Logan was too focused to pay her much attention, the twins waiting in the hallway were much more observant.
“What’s wrong?” With his golden curls and big blue eyes, five-year-old Connor could have been a poster boy for one of God’s chosen angels. Until you got close enough to see the devilish gleam in his eyes.
“Your eyes look funny,” he said almost accusingly.
“Your face is red,” his identical twin, Caleb, chimed in.
“I, I had something in my eye.” Mary Karen dabbed the last of the tears away with the tissue clutched in her hand. “Like you did, Cal, last week. Remember?”
“It hurt.” Caleb nodded, accepting her explanation without question.
Connor wasn’t so easily fooled. His blond brow furrowed and suspicion filled his gaze. “If you got something in one eye, why are both your eyes red?”
Instead of answering, Mary Karen dropped her gaze. “You have chocolate on the front of your Spider-Man shirt. Did you get into the M&M’s?”
Connor blinked but was spared having to answer when Logan emerged from the bathroom, toilet paper stuck to his sneakers, a big smile on his face. “I went poopy all by myself.”
Even though he was three, this was indeed a big deal. After almost five years, her home was finally a diaperfree zone.
But for how much longer? Mary Karen shoved the fear aside and gave her child a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”
Logan gave her five seconds before he began to squirm. “Let go.” He grunted and pushed back until she released him. “We’re playing trucks.”
“Okay, you go with your brothers.” Mary Karen drew a shaky breath. “Mommy needs to get ready for the party.”
Although Travis had returned yesterday from his mission trip in Cameroon she hadn’t heard from him. Of course, with her brother, David, hosting a welcome-back barbecue for him tonight, he probably assumed he’d see her then.
Still, she’d expected a call. After all, this marriage mess had shaken them both. Though they were good friends and the sexual energy between them had only grown stronger over the years, they were both smart enough to realize the marriage had been a huge mistake.
She wished it could be different but Travis had been clear—he didn’t want children. And she had three of them. Three little boys she adored.
If she ever did marry again, it would be to someone who loved and wanted not only her, but her sons as well. Her ex had taught her a valuable lesson. If love wasn’t there in the beginning, if the desire to be a part of a family wasn’t there, either, it wasn’t going to show up later.
Steven had never wanted to be a husband to her or a father to their boys. She’d tried hard to make their marriage work but from day one he’d blamed her for “trapping” him. And he’d missed no opportunity to throw that in her face. Her heart twisted at the memory.
If Travis