Meg dropped her hand from the dress rack and sighed. She had nerves of steel while waiting for the start of a race but the simple task of choosing a dress for Stacy’s wedding had her in a tizzy. It wasn’t just the need to be girly. It was the added challenge of finding something she was comfortable in, considering the fact that she was still wearing supportive bras with a breast form tucked inside. She held out a misty-blue strapless concoction. How could she possibly conceal the extent of her surgery in something like this?
Maybe she should just tell Clay she couldn’t go.
But that would be chickening out, and as nervous as she was, she didn’t want to be called a coward. She moved to the next rack. There had to be something here in Lily’s shop that would suit. And if she had to ask for help, she would. She kept hearing Clay’s rich voice calling her Squirt. She wasn’t that girl any longer. She was a woman. She’d been through trials and come out stronger and by God, she’d show him that.
Which sounded fine and grand, except for the quivering in her stomach that said she was still unsure about how to explain her particular problem to Lily.
“Megan?”
The bubble of nervousness popped as Meg heard her name. She looked up to see Lily coming toward her wearing a wide smile. Meg was instantly aware of the difference in their appearances. She wore neat jeans and a cotton shirt, while Lily was dressed in classic stovepipe trousers and a ruffled blouse that suited her perfectly. It didn’t happen often, but at times she was envious of the innate style Lily possessed. When Lily had quit her job as a home economics teacher and opened her shop, no one had been surprised. She had a certain knack for designing and Meg knew Lily’s business was gaining notice in larger cities.
“Lily.” Meg started to smile back but before she could compose herself Lily had folded her into a tight hug and Meg felt the beginnings of panic.
Thankfully Lily’s embrace was brief and she stepped back. Meg collected herself as best she could, folding her arms in front of her and pasting on a smile. This was her dear friend, the woman who’d come to Larch Valley and fit in as though she’d lived here all her life. When a baby was born there was a hand-quilted crib set from Lily. If someone was sick, a casserole showed up, accompanied by a helping hand around the house. Lily was the most generous, kind woman Meg had ever known. The hug was a matter of course. But Meg was still so very self-conscious.
“We’ve been wondering when you were going to turn up,” Lily smiled. “Drew said he saw you outside the bakery with Clay the other day. Oh, I’m so glad you’ve come in. We missed you.”
The welcome was warm but Meg heard Clay’s voice in her head. Larch Valley was small and people were going to talk, no matter what. It was the blessing and curse of a small town. There was always a core of caring and concern, but everyone knew your business, too. Even an innocent conversation over a brownie was of note and spread through circles of friends.
“I’m looking for a dress,” Meg blurted, hugely uncomfortable now and unsure how to proceed. Perhaps she wouldn’t have felt so very awkward if she had made an effort to reconnect as soon as she’d come back to town. She looked up at Lily for help. “I’m going to Stacy’s wedding and I don’t have anything to wear.”
Lily’s face blanked with confusion at Meg’s less than personal greeting and Meg cringed inside. She hadn’t meant to sound so brusque. Lily was a close friend, not some clerk.
Lily’s face cleared and she carried on smoothly. “This would be lovely with your coloring.” She held up the ice-blue dress that Meg had held in her hands just moments before. “Your hair’s come in lighter than before, with those gorgeous coppery highlights. With your creamy complexion it’d be perfect.”
Lily’s matter-of-fact remark startled Meg and she touched the tips of her hair self-consciously. “It’s not very feminine,” she said quietly. “Don’t you think that dress is a bit … frilly next to my hairstyle?”
Lily shook her head. “Nonsense, Meg. It’s come in soft and gorgeous. If anything you look exotic and stylish.”
Meg felt gratitude fill her heart. Lily wasn’t just generous, she was genuine. She’d overlooked Meg’s stilted responses and Meg loved her for it. “Thank you, Lil,” she replied, relaxing a little. “It takes some getting used to.”
“I think you should leave it that way. Now, what about the dress?” She shook the hanger in her hands, making the fabric shimmer.
“It’s lovely, but I’m not sure strapless is my thing. I was hoping for something a little more … subdued.”
Lily’s eyebrows puckered in the middle. “Hmm. We might need some help,” she mused. “Hold this.” She shoved a dress into Meg’s hands and headed straight to the door.
“Where are you going?” Meg called after her.
“Reinforcements!” Lily called back. Thirty seconds later she was back with Jen in tow.
“Never fear! The fashion police are here!”
Jen rushed down the aisle to greet Meg while Lily locked up the store behind her. Meg felt her heart contract. Jen wasn’t showing much, but her tummy was slightly bubbled out in pregnancy and her skin glowed. Meg loved her friends but felt at an immediate disadvantage. They were so beautiful, secure in their marriages, planning families. Meg had none of those things. She felt like a complete ugly duckling.
Worse, she felt the stirrings of jealousy. She knew it was completely unfair of her. There had been no question of doing chemo and radiation. They’d been necessary to keep her alive. But looking at Jen, expecting a baby and so utterly happy … Meg was fully aware of all the side effects of cancer treatment, immediate and down the road. Even if she could conceive, it could be very, very difficult. Another river for her to cross.
Jen gave Meg a quick hug and Meg pushed her melancholy thoughts aside. She would not begrudge Jen an iota of happiness. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It was just the way things were.
“What are you two up to?” Meg looked from Jen to Lily and back again.
“I’m closing up so we can find you the perfect dress.”
“But … but …”
Jen looked at Lily. “She’s lost some weight. My dresses won’t fit her, even if I’m not using them at the moment.” She put her hand on her swelling tummy. “Yours might.”
Lily shook her head. “No, I’m too hippy. Besides, Meg deserves something new, don’t you think?”
Meg felt completely bulldozed and slightly invisible. This hadn’t been part of the plan! While it was wonderful to see her friends and to know that they hadn’t changed over the past months, she knew they had a tendency to get carried away and Meg didn’t want to get carried right with them. “Hello, I’m right here.”
“Of course you are, isn’t this fun?”
Shopping for dresses was not what Meg normally classified as fun. She had never had much for hips and now her curves above the waist were … well, under renovation was probably the politest way she could explain it. “I appreciate it, you two, but really. A simple dress for Stacy’s wedding is all I need,” she insisted. “Nothing over the top.”
“Honey.” Jen and Lily each took one of her hands. Jen’s eyes suddenly welled up with unshed tears. “You wouldn’t let us do anything for you when you got sick. As stubborn, independent women ourselves, we understood it and accepted it. But please, Meg. Let us help you now. We’re so glad you’re home. It’s so good to have the three of us together again. If only Lucy were here, it would be like old times.”
The tears threatened to spill over. “After what you’ve been through, don’t you think you deserve this?” Jen asked.
Meg was incredibly touched and her earlier thoughts