“How can you look so calm?” she asked as the doors slid open and they stepped in. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so ner vous in my life.”
“I don’t do nervous.” Katy must have put on perfume, too, because she smelled really nice. Flowery and feminine, but not overpoweringly so. In fact, the scent was so faint, yet so intoxicating, he had the urge to lean in closer and breathe her in. Bury his nose in the silky curls tumbling like silk ribbons across her shoulders.
Silk ribbons? Jesus, he needed to get his head examined.
“How could you not be nervous?” she said, clearly unwilling to let the subject drop.
“Okay, I’m a little nervous. Happy?”
“Well, if you are, you sure don’t look it. I guess you’re just really good at hiding your feelings.”
“That comes as part of the outdoor plumbing package.” The doors slid open and they stepped out, but when he turned to Katy she had a funny look on her face. “What?”
“Did you just make a joke?”
“I guess so. Is that a problem?”
“The ability to joke suggests you have a sense of humor. Adam, I had no idea.”
He tried to looked indignant, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward.
She gasped. “Oh, my gosh! You just smiled! Do you know that since I met you at Western Oil that day I haven’t seen you smile a single time? I didn’t even realize you still knew how.”
In spite of himself, he smiled wider. “All right, you’ve made your point.”
She gave him a playful poke. “Better be careful, or God forbid, people might start to think you have feelings.”
What she didn’t realize was that he felt very deeply. Too much for his own good, in fact. And look where it had gotten him.
Which is why he expended so much effort to feel as little as possible now. Or at the very least, not let it show.
They walked down the hall to the fertility suite and were immediately shown into the doctor’s private office for a quick consultation, in case they had any last-minute questions—a courtesy Adam was sure he reserved for only his special patients. In other words, the ones with the thickest wallets. Dr. Meyer had a fund for lower-income couples with medical conditions preventing them from conceiving, and understanding their pain, not to mention the perks it would include, Adam had donated generously.
After a brief chat, they were taken to the room where Katy would change into her gown.
“I guess this is it,” Adam said. “I’ll see you afterward.”
“Afterward?” she asked, looking confused. “You’re not going to come in for the procedure. I thought you would want to be there.”
“I do. I just … I thought it would make you uncomfortable.”
“Call me old-fashioned, but I believe a father should at least be in the room when his child is conceived. Even if he’s not actually … you know … doing the work.”
Leave it to Katy to be absolutely blunt. “If you’re comfortable with it, then sure, count me in.”
“The doctor knows the situation. I’m sure he can be discreet. And if not …” she shrugged. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me naked. And you’ll be seeing it all again when the baby is born. Right?”
He had hoped she would allow him to be in the delivery room, but he figured he would wait until later in the pregnancy to ask. Now he didn’t have to worry.
He didn’t doubt that if he’d hired a surrogate, a stranger, she might not be as open to him being so involved in the entire process. And he appreciated it. More than Katy would ever know.
“Well, I better go change,” she said. “Don’t want to keep the embryos waiting.”
“Thank you, Katy.”
She smiled, then she did something totally unexpected. She rose up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
Her lips were soft and warm and just the slightest bit damp. And though it didn’t last long, just a second or two, something happened. Something passed between them, although he couldn’t say for sure what it was. If it was physical or emotional. But whatever it was, he felt it straight through to his bones. And clearly, so did she.
She stepped back, looking puzzled, lifting a hand up to touch her lips. And something must have been wrong with him because his first instinct was to take her in his arms and draw her against him, bury his face against her hair and just … hold her. He wondered what she would do if he tried.
But he didn’t, and after a few seconds the moment, whatever it was, seemed to pass.
“I guess I better go,” she said, glancing back to the nurse who was waiting for her, looking apprehensive, as if the gravity of what she was about to do had suddenly taken hold. “You’ll be there?”
Maybe she just didn’t want to feel as though she was in this alone. “I’ll be there,” he assured her, and realized that his heart was beating faster. Maybe he was more nervous than he’d thought. Or could it have been something else?
She started to turn, and before he realized what he was doing, he reached out and grabbed her arm. Startled, she turned back to him, looking at his hand as though she was surprised he would touch her. And honestly, he was a bit surprised himself.
“You’re sure you want to do this,” he said. “It’s not too late to back out.”
The apprehension seemed to dissolve before his eyes and she smiled. A really sweet, pretty smile that he was sure he would remember for the rest of his life.
“I’m sure,” she said, placing her hand over his. “I want to do this.”
He let his hand slip out from under hers and fall to his side.
“You can sit in the procedure waiting room,” the nurse said, pointing it out to him. “They’ll call you in when she’s ready.”
The waiting room was blessedly empty, but after twenty minutes passed he began to worry they had forgotten about him. He was about to get up and ask someone what was taking so long when another nurse appeared in the doorway. She led him to an exam room where Katy was already in position with her feet in the stirrups, ready to go. And other than a bit of bare leg, she was very discreetly covered.
She looked relieved to see him.
“Is everyone ready?” the doctor asked, looking from Katy to Adam.
Adam nodded. Katy took a deep breath, exhaled and said, “Let’s do it.”
She reached for his hand and he took it, holding firmly as the doctor did the transfer. The procedure itself seemed pretty simple, and if Katy’s occasional winces were any indication, involved only minor discomfort. Within ten minutes it was over.
“That’s it,” Dr. Meyer said, peeling off his gloves. “Now comes the hard part. The waiting.”
Per his orders Katy had to lie there for two hours before she would be allowed home, so after the staff cleared the room Adam pulled a chair up beside her and sat down.
“I think it worked,” she said, looking contentedly serene. “I can almost feel the cells beginning to divide.”
“Is that even possible?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Probably not, but I have a good feeling about this.”
He didn’t want