“I trust you,” he said, and she felt a stab of bitterness that she couldn’t trust him in return.
“I don’t know much about the shopping down here,” she said.
“No problem. Just give Maddie a call and she can fill you in. See you tomorrow night.”
Just before dusk, Rafe welcomed Joel and Nicole on to his yacht. He gave them the grand tour and enjoyed Joel’s enthusiasm. Joel was especially excited to see the engine room and the game room. The three of them were served dinner and watched the lights as they left the harbor.
Joel was so wound up that it took him a while to settle down.
“I’ll read the bedtime stories tonight,” he said to Nicole.
She hesitated then nodded. “Okay.”
Rafe had made the offer impulsively, but as soon as Joel sank down on the bed beside him with a book, he realized why he’d wanted the good-night time with his son. As he read the story about the big strawberry and the little mouse, he remembered piling into a bed with his brothers and listening to his father’s deep voice as he told stories. His father had made them up on his own, stories of adventure that had evoked his imagination. He and his brothers had competed for the positions on his father’s left and right side. Rafe couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt more safe and secure.
Now, with his son curled against him, Rafe felt a wave of emotion at the bond forming between them. He wanted that sense of safety and security for Joel. He never wanted his son to experience the uncertainty he had.
“Do you like strawberries?” he asked Joel.
Joel gave a big nod. “I like them as much as the little mouse does. Again,” he said. “Read it again.”
Rafe laughed. “The same book?”
Joel nodded again. “It’s the best book in the world,” he said solemnly.
“Hmm,” Rafe said, ruffling his fingers through Joel’s hair. “Then I guess it’s worth hearing again.”
He started at the beginning and Joel moved his lips, wordlessly repeating each word of the story. The fact that his son had clearly memorized the book brought him enormous pride. Rafe ended up reading it yet another time, then he turned to another book. With Joel fully relaxed against him, Rafe glanced down and saw that his son was asleep.
His heart twisted. Joel’s ability to let down his guard with him made something inside him swell with emotion. He wanted Joel to trust him. It was vital to him.
Gently, he tucked the covers over his son and slid out of bed, returning to the upper deck.
Nicole stood next to the side of the ship, looking into the distance.
He stepped beside her. “You think he liked his first day on the yacht?”
She turned to glance at him. “It was obvious he loved it.”
“I’m glad he’s a good sailor. I worried a little about seasickness and had both the meds and the sea bands ready for him just in case.”
“That was thoughtful,” she said.
“You sound surprised.”
“You’re a new dad. I wouldn’t expect you to be prepared for everything.”
“What about you? Do you like it out here?”
She inhaled. “Who wouldn’t?”
“Someone who gets seasick.”
She gave a low reluctant laugh that made him want to bend his head down and feel the sound against his skin. “It’s so quiet and peaceful out here,” she said.
“Right now it is. I’ve been out in some pretty rough storms where it’s anything but peaceful.”
“When did you first develop your fondness for boats or the ocean?”
“My father took us out a couple of times. I was very young, but I still remember it like it was yesterday.” He thought of his father, his hair whipping in the wind as he called out instruction to him and his brothers. A wave of longing and nostalgia washed over him. “He was a good dad.”
“In what way?” she asked and he felt her searching his face.
“Don’t get me wrong. He could be tough as nails. With four sons and a wife who was—” He paused, feeling another twist of loss for his mother. “Fragile, he had to stay on top of everything. He taught us to work hard, taught us to swim and play poker. He even taught us all to cook.”
She smiled. “Really?”
He nodded. “I can make some pretty mean spaghetti. He made great lasagna, but none of us can quite remember how to pull that together the same way he did.”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure my mother or father know how to boil water.”
“Different planet,” he said.
“Not necessarily better,” she muttered and looked out to the horizon. She gave a shiver.
He pulled off his jacket to put it around her shoulders. She glanced at him in surprise.
“You looked like you got a chill. I’ve been doing all the talking. How did a wealthy girl like you learn how to cook?”
“In boarding school. It was an elective and I decided it would be a necessary skill since I knew I wouldn’t be living with my parents.”
“Independent even then,” he said.
“Yes,” she said, her face solemn. “I think I was nine at the time.”
“I get the impression your home life wasn’t all that happy,” he ventured.
“It wasn’t. My parents were unhappily married. My father had a terrible temper. That may be part of the reason I’m so determined for Joel to feel safe and happy.”
“You can’t protect him from every bump in the road,” Rafe said.
“No, but I can try to keep him out of the potholes,” she said.
“Ever think you’re overprotective?” he asked.
She shot him a look that reminded him of a mama bear ready to defend her cub. “Are you questioning my parenting skills?”
“Just curious,” he said.
“Because if you are,” she said. “You don’t have a lot of experience yourself.”
“I don’t have experience being a parent,” he agreed. “But I have experience being male.”
“Plenty of single mothers have successfully raised boys on their own.”
“But you won’t have to,” he said. “I’m Joel’s father and I’m here to stay.”
She lifted her shoulder. “We still don’t know how involved you really want to be in his life.”
Her cool response irritated him. “Very involved. You need to get used to the idea that Joel will be spending lots of time with me.”
“Like I said, that’s yet to be determined.”
“No, it isn’t,” he said, putting his hand on her arm to get her attention.
She turned her head and glanced meaningfully at his hand. He removed it. “I’m not going to be an absentee father. I’m rearranging my life so that he can be in it all the time.”
“It’s not that easy,” she said. “You can’t just take over.”
“I can and I am,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“I