Carmen was thrilled someone had built the youth center. She would like to help guide kids who might otherwise be tempted to stray as she had. But she wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Many people had been hurt by the accident and might blame her for their loss. Chief Knight certainly did. She didn’t know if anyone else felt that way, but she wouldn’t want any misdirected negative feelings to roll onto Joni.
Carmen sighed and bit back her disappointment. “I don’t know if I should.”
“Why not?” Joni seemed sincerely perplexed. “I’m the director of the center and I’d appreciate any help you can give.”
Carmen lifted the napkin from her lap and placed it on the table. “I’m Carmen Shields.”
Joni shrugged as if the name meant nothing to her.
“I was a passenger in the SUV that crashed into Chief Knight’s wife’s car seven years ago.”
“Oh.” Joni pulled out a chair and sat down.
“I don’t think he would want me to work with the kids. He’d probably consider me a bad influence, and other people might feel that way, too.” She tried to sound indifferent, but even to her own ears her pain was unmistakable.
“What happened?”
Carmen closed her eyes and sighed. The memory of that night was as vivid as though it happened yesterday. She could still hear the screams, the twisting of metal. “My friends were drunk. We were speeding and ran a stop sign, hitting another car.”
“You said you weren’t driving.”
“I wasn’t. But I should have been. I was sober.” But Donny wouldn’t give her his keys. Still, she’d hopped into the car, stupidly believing she could make him drive slowly.
Joni pondered that for a moment. “How old were you?”
“Eighteen.”
“You were young and stupid. Something all of us suffer from at one time or another.”
“That’s no excuse. Three people are dead.” The guilt she’d felt because of Donny’s and Jay’s deaths was nothing compared to knowing a perfectly innocent wife and mother had died, as well.
“I agree that’s tragic, but you weren’t driving. I don’t see how anyone could blame you.”
“Chief Knight does.” And her father blamed her for tarnishing the previously unblemished Shields name, ruining his plans for a political career. But not just that night. She’d begun pushing the boundaries of proper behavior long before then.
Joni reached across the table and clasped Carmen’s hand. “Chief Knight lost his wife. He needs someone to blame. Although why he chose you and not the driver is beyond me.”
“The driver died at the scene.” Carmen knew she may not have been legally responsible, but morally she had been wrong. “I could have tried harder to take the keys from Donny. But I’d been too busy trying to fit in. I’d finally gotten the cool kids to accept me and I wasn’t going to blow it by acting like someone’s nagging mother.”
“You can’t change the past. You can learn from it and try to make a difference today. Your past will give you credibility with the kids that no one else has.” Joni blinked. “Unless you’ll be busy with your family. You’ll only be here for a short while, so you’ll probably be spending a lot of time with them.”
“Not so much.” Unless her father had a change of heart, she’d remain the family pariah. Perhaps if he saw her doing something good, he’d realize she had changed and welcome her back into the family. And she truly did want to help. “Maybe you’re right. I’d love to work with the kids.”
“So is that a yes?”
Carmen smiled. “Just tell me when and I’ll be there.”
“Do you have a preference of activities?”
“I’m an artist by profession. If you have art classes or projects, I could help out.”
“We have an art room, so that would be great.”
“Thanks.”
“What kind of artist are you?”
“I paint. I’ve loved drawing and painting all my life. I’ve been fortunate to sell some of my work.”
“Are you famous?” Joni grinned.
Carmen laughed. “Not hardly. At least not yet. I’ve been lucky.” When she first started out, Damon had used his contacts to get her work noticed. But as he repeatedly pointed out, she was the one who did the painting. People only bought what they liked. Fortunately, they liked her work.
“I’m not sure I believe that. If I Google your name, will I find out you’re a celebrity hiding among the little people?”
Carmen shook her head. “I paint using my first and middle names, Carmen Taylor.”
“Okay, then art it is. Of course, if you’d like a change of pace, you can always play basketball.”
Carmen started to protest, then relaxed when Joni laughed. “Just kidding.”
“Good, because I might be the only kid in the world who almost flunked high school gym.”
Her father had used his influence and she’d been allowed to join the swim team for her gym credit. She was so slow she never won any ribbons, but she had graduated, avoiding being the first Shields not to graduate high school since Emancipation.
“In that case, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” Carmen repeated, filled with anticipation.
Tomorrow was going to be a better day.
“I’m not going.” Alyssa said, folding her arms over her chest. Still dressed in her pajamas, she walked around the peach-and-cream-striped chair that had been Anna’s favorite and sat on the coffee table. She glared at him defiantly, daring him to correct her.
Trent bit his tongue. He’d told Alyssa numerous times to sit on the sofa or chairs, or even the floor, but not the table. But he didn’t have time for yet another lecture that would do little to change her behavior. What ever happened to the sweet little girl who used to get up early just to have breakfast with him?
Deciding patience was in order, Trent inhaled deeply and slowly blew out a breath. “You can’t stay home alone all day.”
“Why not? I’m not a baby.”
He recognized that trick: go on the offense and make him defend his actions. Not today. “I didn’t say you were.”
“I’m fourteen.”
“I know.”
“So why can’t I stay home?”
He rubbed a hand over his freshly shaved chin. “Because I would prefer it if you didn’t. And I don’t understand why you want to stay home. You always have fun at the youth center. All of your friends will be there.”
Alyssa stood and jammed her hands on her hips. “I don’t have any friends, thanks to you.”
She stomped from the room, but he caught her arm as she reached the stairs. “What do you mean, you don’t have friends? Everybody likes you.”
Alyssa’s quiet and serious personality may not have made her the most popular kid, but her loyalty had earned her several true friends. She got along well with most of the other girls even if they weren’t especially close.
Alyssa had inherited her mother’s stunning good looks, as well